Hello all!

I know its been quite some time since I last posted and I feel guilty. So guilty in fact that I was hesitant to create another entry knowing how long ive been away(like I don't deserve to blog).

Anyways April was a very interesting month for me. Being a SnGo enthusiast I recently began starting to learn MTT's as I had almost never played them. I wasn't doing well in early April w/ SnGos on Stars and tried my hand playing 180s. Now with favorable results behind me I am wondering why I hadn't learned to play them sooner (yes cash games one day i assure you).

I started to multitable the 4/180 and mostly broke even for a stretch of 400 games while still getting a handle on MTT strat (P.S. thanks to Bond and TJ for their insight). Then in the last week of April everything just seemed to click. I had made no real money at that point but in a span of 5-6 days i netted around 900 dollars without putting too many hours in.




Swings the way they are and such...I feel as though If I could avoid impatience while playing these things I can realistically pull down at least $200/day with 9 hours of work or less. I feel as though that is a modest goal (some may say not). Even so, this would be way more money than I would make playing SNG's at my buy-ins and a little less frustrating to boot. (Bubbling four table in a row sends me off like a maddman) I am working on my stamina because I do feel REALLY drained during my second 11 table session of the 180's. (adderall anyone?)

So I guess im just really excited to see what May has to bring as i'm already in the black and have only really played one day. Anywhosers Ill be more diligent in updating the blog and let you guys know how it all goes.

May Goals:
$200/day >>> $1000/week
Stay focussed at work
Workout
Continue learning
Dont shirk other responsibilities
Learn to cook

Ok lets try this again!
I will try to re-capture the same essence of literary perfection that found me yesterday before I decided to mistakely press the delete button.

Firstly, Its been awhile since I've updated my blog and I apologize. I know you all have been anxiously checking every day to see if I have added anything(dont lie). Anyways... The poker has been both good and bad. Good in the sense that I a have been able to increase my 10-tabling session stamina after returning from work an still have enough energy to go out at night(sadly its a must in Madison.. at least for me). Bad in the sense that I still am not really making any progress in regards to my bankroll.



As you can see I have been Six Flaggin it up as it has been a virtual up and down BR rollercoaster. I do however consider this breaking even. Thinking about my last post where I was about to cry about the foot Stars was putting in my ass... I feel much better now as the 'doom' switch has been switched back to 'normal'. That being said..I have not been playing exceptional poker. I attribute this lack of results and performance to a few factors:

1) I am pumped up to play poker after work but am mentally tired already. This I believe leads me to make looser calls and go on auto pilot more often.

2)10 Tabling.. I am still learning to play Sng's and Mtt's at a high volume and I KNOW I am missing alot of info that I would usually pick up on. I am losing a sense of table image (A big part of the game for me) and am not being able to pick up on betting patterns. I also forget what my image is on a particular table. Some poeple (spacegravy and venetian come to mind) say they dont really bother assessing table image when volume playing and i guess it makes sense to them. However, I do believe they use PAHUD which I am too stupid to figure out how to set up(and lazy). ughh maybe i should just sit and figure it out one night. Anyways.... me not being able to assess table image leads me to make more mistakes on the bubble, which I am almost as fond of abusing as narcotics(jk folks).

3)Friends and girls... As much as I love being social and somewhat normal, I have really found that this area of my life directly and heavily influences my being able to put in sessions. I almost feel ashamed to be spending so much time with poker. I feel like a bad friend and a bad bf because when I get home cause I gotta "get that cheese and put in the hours". Ill get the same Im's every day:

RandomBorG: What are u doin? Wanna hang out?
Me: Poker..perhaps later?
RandomBorG: That’s a surprise, I swear you are addicted
hgkhkgfjhgflj

times this by 3 during my initial session and half of my mid is thinking about social relationships now... Not good for poker profitability. I dont know what to do about this phenomena. Most of my friends know I play poker but I dont know if they understand hte level of commitment and hard work required to succeed in this ever toughening arena. Subsequently they dont understand why it should occupy so much of my 'free' time. Unless im pullin in the G's, its kinda hard to justify your lifestyle to anyone. Poker is the main reason why I dont have a steady GF. I am simply too selfish with my time and girls like to have your undivided. I am not a fan of random sex (which i have learned to accept) so I dunno where that puts me.

Well thats prob it or now... just wanted to check in! Peace

-St. Lucifer

This is what I was seriously thinking regarding Stars' intentions. It was one of those days where it seemed that the infamous 'Doom Switch' had been flipped and the level of dooming was turned to 'obviously fucking with you'.

I fired up my standard 7 tables of 10+1 and 4 tables 6.50 MTT's (Only one monitor sadly)and got in the mindset to play my best. I would say 80% of the time where I got myself in a situation where I was ready to double up(after outplaying...calling obv donk stuff when i hit the flop hard.. calling easy shortstack allins with solid holdings...) the turn and river would find a way to conspire against my efforts and punish me for playing well. KK's AA's and QQ's alike on 45J type flops would get called by mid pp's only to see themselves getting hit in the gut when villain after countless villain would hit their 3rd 9, 8, or 7 come the turn or river...almost always during crucial points in the SNg or MMt. All types of other fun spooky stuff was happening to me in rapid and frequent succession through the 3 sessions I played. I was going nuts... yelling and thinking 'of course' like 100+ times during the night until my will was completely broken.

I’m sure u hate hearing bad beat stories as much as I hate telling them so im gonna stop there but move on to my next topic...Mental toughness and perspective.

I usually don’t deal too much with tilt and mental anguish in regards to poker but sometimes (usually twice a month) I have a day where I really question the legitimacy of online poker...My game...and the prospect of making poker a bigger part of my life. Although my aforementioned session only resulted im me losing maybe 10 BI over 40 games...


The fact that I knew I should be CRUSHING these tables combined with seemingly obvious fuck jobs delivered with flippant regularity by the software during bubbles and critical moments hit me emotionally in a way that I think I have never felt before (I seem to have a short memory when it comes to recalling and appreciating/remembering winning and losing sessions) The frustration made me wonder how in the world I was going to handle taking poker seriously when days like this are not only possible but expected. blah blah blah... I know I should be thinking of poker as one large session etc.. etc..
but sometimes days like these throw you into a realm of uncertainty.
Im sorry my first post turned into a "I hate variance" rant but I really do...

So Ive decided to create a Poker/Life blog to help satisfy a few new personal goals of mine as well as hopefully provide some insightful and/or entertaining material for those who happen to come across this Blog. My vision for this blog includes detailing some of my day to day poker activities as well as delving into aspects of everyday life that I deem relevant on some level to the overall content of the blog. Without getting too far into plans and such, I suppose I should share a little about myself.
Currently I am a 22 year old Student at the University of Wisconsin, Madison studying Legal Studies. I recently have had to take some time off from school for various reasons and have subsequently delayed my graduation from Madison. In the meantime I have found a pretty comfortable job in the School's Veterinary Medicine's Dean's office. The time I spend in the office is rarely filled with meaingful work so it is my hope that this time will be spent blogging and such...
As far as poker goes I am a small stakes SNG and MTT grinder (St. Lucifer on Stars) with plans on moving up (like us all)... The blog will primarily deal with the struggles, triumphs, and mindfucking that are all part of the grind. Hope you all enjoy!