The Commerce Casino
6131 East Telegraph Road
Commerce, CA 90040
website
Free-roll? We’re in!
Last Thursday night, lakong, LakeofFire and I headed down to the Commerce Casino for the Conway and Whitman 97.1 FreeFM free roll tournament. The Commerce hosts about 4 or 5 of these free-roll tournaments each year and thanks to some timely and relentless sucking up to Player Relations, we weaseled three entries and resolved to get a proper return on our investment.
The tournament was promoted/co-hosted by The Conway and Whitman show broadcasting live from the event.
The C&W comedy/talk radio show, hosted by Tim Conway, Jr. and Brian Whitman, is often involved in bloodsport competitions like this one. The show’s website offers an archive of other similarly debauched events including one in which its producer, Gerry Wachovsky, attempts to leap over twelve hotdogs—that's seven feet of processed meat and bun. Although his final failed jump wasn’t as gruesome as Evel Knievel’s misfire at Caesar’s Palace, it’s must-see video. Tonight, though, the challenge was no limit poker and the venue was the tournament room at the Commerce.
The night started at 6p with a free catered buffet. Note to future attendees: the Commerce does a free-roll buffet right with real entrees and even a carving station, not just some anemic appetizers. You can have a look at the spread in the photos below. Ok, it's not the Mirage buffet, but it was very, very good. And priced right!
”Ok, just so we’re clear...there’s no charge for this, right?”
”Any chance I can get a take-out box?”
I filled a plate and, while stuffing myself like a Roman senator, surveyed the room.
The Tournament Room
The tournament room at the Commerce is located on the 2nd floor, up the wide staircase at the valet entrance. The room hosts the lower stakes NL games and daily tournaments but, for banquets and larger events, they push aside a room divider and create a large, open room.
There are 9 flat-screen monitors scattered around the room. Two are dedicated to the automated wait-list system, and the other seven usually show the sporting event du jour, today the Laker game.
For most events, there’s plenty of room for both the event and the low stakes games. At 8p on Thu night, they were spreading the following:
One table of 1/2 limit
Two tables of 2/4 limit
Seven or eight tables of $40 NL
One table of 1/2 stud.
Commerce has bigger games, of course, but they’re held on the main floor in various areas. If you’re interested, you can read a full recap of NL action here.
The tournament sign-up area is in the front left of the room, and the low stakes cash games brush area is to the front right. For larger tournaments, the tournament level times are projected on a screen above the stage, but tonight the radio show occupied the space.
Free food + Free entry = Full room
It’s a value play
The C&W show had been talking up the tournament for the better part of a month or so, and 430 entrants responded to compete for $6000 in prize money, $3000 in iTunes gift certificates AND, for the winner, the week-end use of a Ferrari F355 Spider to the courtesy of Dream Cars West and Singles Poker Party. Ever the value nit, I calculated my overlay…
($6000 + $3000 + $2000 use of the car)/430 entrants = $25 per player
I stuffed myself….that’s another $10. On top of that, my entry wristband entitled me to another $10 toward any food purchase if I sat in a live game afterward. Plus the opportunity, if I didn’t shame myself, to get on the invite list for a future event.
$45 of value + future upside + blog material? Are you kidding me? I congratulated myself on putting myself in a position of obvious profit.
Edmond attempts to get invited back
A 430-person tournament is a challenge for any poker room, but the Commerce sorted the players and seating arrangements out quickly. The hosts for the event were David Mosikian, head of Player Relations, and John Griffo, Casino Development Manager.
Don’t let the suits fool you—both guys are likable degenerates with low moral standards and a willingness to comp and, as such, well-qualified to make sure four hundred talk radio listeners have a great time on the Commerce’s tab. While Mosikian and Griffo were working the room like they were up for re-election, Cheri Dokken, the tournament director, and her staff made sure the sign-up and tournament stayed on track.
The Enforcer…and good at it
The Commerce tournament staff are the best in the city, and by 8p, everyone was seated and ready to get the free-for-all going.
Your mom must be very proud!
Before the first hand, Conway announced a $50 iTunes gift certificate for the worst-dressed player in the room. There was an immediate commotion as a number of guys started waving, standing on chairs, etc.—trying to call attention to their lack of fashion sense. There were plenty of legitimate contenders but the overwhelming choice was a 27-year-old, 265-pounder from Whittier wearing a tattered ProBass shops shirt that didn’t come close to covering his prodigious gut.
”Washing machine was broke.”
ProBass Guy was clearly pleased at being chosen. To me, it seemed like the rough equivalent of being selected Most in Need of Shower and not really something to text Mom about. Nonetheless, it paid, and after a brief award presentation and a failed attempt by Wachovsky to hold PBG aloft for 30 seconds, Mosikian made a few quick remarks and the tournament got underway.
"Ok, let's put the TVs back on the wall..."
Time to get busy
The tournament started with 10 players per table, 1000 chips per player with blinds at 25/50 and 20 minute levels. The structure was, as Mosikian observed, “on steroids” and I knew I’d have to get active immediately to have any chance at progress. Given the buy-in, no one beefed about the structure, and honestly, what can you really expect for free?
Within moments, the first player busted from the tournament when his flush pursuit went unrewarded. Conway called him to the stage and offered him an iTunes gift certificate if he could say anything about iTunes. He admitted he “had no idea what an iTunes is” but picked up his prize anyway for his kids. That was pretty much the tone of the whole evening. Even if you had no idea what was going on (at the tournament or in society in general), you were coming away with some value, courtesy of the Commerce Casino.
”An iTunes? Hmmm…I’m not sure.”
The action, sort of
Despite the structure, play at my table was very passive with lots of limp/calling pre-flop and check/calling post-flop. Within a couple of hands, I had AKo in middle position and raised to 150. The small blind and big blind called and we saw a 76 2 flop. The SB led out for 200, BB called and I folded.
The turn was 5 putting a second diamond on the board. Check/check.
River was 9 and when it fell, the small blind grimaced. Check/check. Both players showed 87o and as the dealer chopped it up, the SB blurted out, “I was worried about the flush!”
“Me, too!”
Say what? In any case, I was down to 850.
Within a few minutes (twenty, actually) the blinds increased to 50/100 and I found myself UTG+2 with AJo. I feel the same way about AJo out-of-position as most guys do about their ex-wives—not nearly as pretty as they at first seemed and a bankroll drain—but with this structure, I was in no position to be choosy. I shoved and a short stack called his remaining chips.
We flipped up the hands. The short-stack showed AKo and because I wasn’t the one holding Big Slick, it held.
Edmond the piñata
A few hands later the blinds had gone through me and I was down to 350, resigned to an early exit. There were three limpers to me with on the DB with 99. I shipped it in and, with the frenzy of hyper children going after a birthday piñata, all three players jumped at the chance to knock me from the tournament. Admittedly, a dude making comments into a voice recorder can be annoying. Whatever.
The flop came 555. Checked around. Hold!
The turn was an ugly J and when the small blind led out with 200 and got two callers, I started packing my things.
But what’s this? A river 9? It looks like this paper-mache middle pair is gonna hold after all! The players checked around and flipped up:
A Q
KJo
AKo
KJo celebrated briefly until the dealer pointed out that nines full beat fives full and shoved the pot to me. Oh right, yes…we’re all just trying to learn here.
I was now sitting with 1500 chips. Above average!
Limping, min-raising madness
At this point, Mosikian came around and tossed a iTunes gift card “into the next pot.” The dealer responded by tossing me T3o. Thanks. No, really. Of course, on the very NEXT hand, I’m in the small blind with AKo. One limper to me, I made it 400 to go. The limper called because my table limp/calls everything. It was AMAZING how many players were limp/calling with 8-10x the blinds. Bond18 would have been apoplectic.
J87 rainbow flop.
I bet out 500 into the 900 pot and immediately wondered why I didn’t just shove. Uh…maybe because I’m taking notes and not paying attention. He insta-called. Great.
The turn was 3x. I checked expecting to taste a little vomit in the back of my throat when he min-bet, but he surprised me and checked behind. The river was another 8. Check/check and he showed Q9 drawing to inside straight from the flop. I love live poker.
I was now sitting with ~2350 chips or so, a monster stack relative to the rest of the table.
With the blinds still at 50/100, I was again on the dealer button with 4 4. UTG+1 min-raised to 200 and with two callers to me, I opted not to build a unwieldy, multi-way pot and just called. The small blind came along for the ride. Other than me, everyone was sitting with ~1000 chips.
An ace on the flop kicked off the min-betting.
A73 flop. Small blind checked. Min-raiser min-bet. The other callers and I bailed.
7 on the turn. Check/min bet/call.
River blank. Check/check.
The UTG+1 min-raiser showed AJo and the small blind showed QQ. What? You’re sitting with maybe 10x BB and you just called the pre-flop min-raise…with QQ? I did the math in my head…
Live free-roll + Commerce = awesome, awesome stuff not seen elsewhere
Edmond goes crazy
The blinds bumped up to 200/400 with 25 ante and I managed to dust off most of my stack with TT. I raised pre-flop from the DB and was called by the BB, all-in with A7o. After a gross AA4JK board, I had a measly 1375 left.
A hand or two later, it was folded to me in the hijack with QTo, I shoved and was turbo-called by the big stack behind me. He flipped up ATo. Of course.
Flop QK9 rainbow. Nice. Uh, no jack!
Turn blank. River Q. Ship it to the QTo!
One of the other players remarked “I can’t believe you pushed with queen ten!” Yeah, I get nuts with 2.5x the big blind. You should see me in a sit-n-go. Labeled a lunatic, I was now sitting with 3400 chips (8 BBs) and exactly no fold equity.
Hey, anyone got a towel?
We took a ten minute break and I wandered around the room. We were now going to 400/800/50 ante with 12 tables left at the break. 430 players started the tournament so there were 430,000 chips in play. With about 100 players left, the average stack was ~4000 or barely 5x the BB. I felt like the white guy in the locker room.
It was now around 9:30p and the low stakes cash games had added a few more tables. From the electronic board, it looked like…
Two tables of 1/2 limit
Two tables of 2/4 limit
Nine or ten tables of $40 NL
And one 1/2 stud
But I counted 19 cash game tables running just in the low stakes area and, again, this was a Thursday night. Repeat: the Commerce has a sick amount of action.
And like that, he was gone
After the break, the blinds were 400/800 with a 50 ante and I was UTG+1 with AKo. In we go! I got two callers, a big stack with ATo and the BB (short) for T5o. I was only a 60% favorite here, so I was obviously concerned.
QJx flop. Ok, 70% from here. Hold.
Turn 5. Ouch.
River 5. Nice touch, Poker God.
As the big blind celebrated his good fortune and stacked my chips, the table broke and I got moved to a new table with my remaining 2500. What’s this? A radio staffer announced www.tworags.com over the PA and told the crowd to check it out. Hey! I know those guys!
Within a hand or so at the new table, I moved in with A6o and was called from blinds by 74 and TT. Flop KQ7…4…2 and I’m out. Ok, what’d you say the name of that blogging site was again?
Field work
I gathered my stuff and did a little field work—collected final tournament data, took a couple of photos. The tourney was down to 6 tables with the average stack somewhere around 7000 chips, John Griffo, one of the hosts, was sitting with 4500 chips. It’s a sad day for poker when an organizer of the event can’t even manage to rig an above average stack, for himself.
After scoring a turkey sandwich and a 2008 calendar from the Leykette girls (hired hotties promoting beer and other essentials), I checked back. With the blinds at 2000/4000/200 ante, there were still 34 players on 4 tables. Doing the math, the average stack was 12,600 (3x BB). It’s a freeroll, fellas, and you only have 3x. Get it in already!
”Are you really a producer?”
A worthy replacement for the Farrah Fawcett poster
An absurd cash game
While I was waiting for the bubble to break (27 spots paid), I noticed Mosikian sitting at a new table with Conway and some other players. I sat down and soon realized this was, by far, the most absurd cash game I’d ever stumbled upon. Between Mosikian’s and Conway’s breezy disregard for hand values or cash and the other players’ total lack of understanding of the game, there were at least nine marks at the table, not counting myself.
We structured a $40 buy-in but that was a just a formality. Players would routinely bust and reload with whatever cash they happened to pull out of their pocket. $20? No problem. A hundie? Whatever. I’m convinced if someone had pulled a Best Buy gift card from their wallet, a chip runner would’ve stacked him up.
I didn’t get involved in many hands but took to tipping the dealers anyway when an entertaining hand unfolded. Newer players weren’t aware of tipping protocols so Mosikian would toss the dealer chips after hands and encourage the other players to do likewise. Pretty soon it was a tip-fest with players toking $5+ on $20 pots and dealers lamenting leaving the table when their down was up.
As it was, I ended up three buy-ins in about two hours on the back of two hands:
#1 Rivering the nut straight, calling an all-in and getting action behind on a 45QT 3 board. My 67o was good against a wheel and Qx. In any other game, the three spades would’ve given me heartburn, but in this game I knew my straight was the nuts.
#2 Flopping top pair, turning two pair, boating the river and getting three streets of action from J3o on a J97KK board. Playing KJ from the blinds, I bet/called a re-raise on the flop, check-raised the turn, led the river and responded “Yes. Yes, I did.” when asked if I hit my king. Still I got action. If you play poker and don’t love low stakes NL at the Commerce, there’s something wrong with you. Honestly.
Final Table!
About 1a, I noticed the tournament was wrapping up and hustled over for a few pictures.
The final table had all the nuanced play of the Coliseum scene from Gladiator and quickly resolved to the final two players who chopped based on chip count.
Paul Hsu, new to the Commerce, won the overall event and pocketed $2100. Michael Friedman took second and $1800. In the spirit of the chop, they ran out one open hand for the weekend use of the Ferrari.
Hsu flipped up 53
Friedman showed Q4
4 on the flop, 3 on the turn, blank on the river and Friedman’s Q4o was good for a F355 Spider convertible.
The winnah!
Note to self: Stop by Commerce after work. Win Ferrari.
Last hand, fellas.
I checked back into Mosikian’s NL game and folded for an orbit. As the blinds came back to me, I announced it was my last hand and limped UTG with QJo just to get involved. Seven players called around to Mosikian in the BB who took this as an invitation to shove for $42. I bailed but he got two callers including a woman who said she’d never played before and Conway.
Mosikian flipped up 85o
"I've never played before" woman showed AK
Conway tabled 86
The flop came 292 and then running 99 for a three-way chopped pot. Ok, that’s ridiculous. I was done for the night, but Conway et al. ran a couple more “Let’s go all-in in the dark” hands to satisfy their bloodlust. As for me, I thanked the staff, collected my stuff and headed home. That’s enough “free” for one night.
Conclusion
If you ever get a line on one of these Commerce free-rolls, you should definitely check it out. Yeah, the structure should be in the Mitchell report, the play bizarre and the prize pool narrow (paid to 6%) but the free food, extra prizes, side attractions and sick cash games make for a highly entertaining and profitable evening. Props to the dealers and staffers…nice work!
If this rambling recap wasn’t enough for you, podcast clips of the entire live broadcast can be found on the Conway and Whitman website here.
Edmond
End note:
Tim Conway, Jr. of the Conway and Whitman broadcast team is the son of Tim Conway, the comedian from McHale’s Navy (a staple of my youth) and the Carol Burnett show. More recently, he’s been the voice of Barnacle Boy on SpongeBob SquarePants. He’s a Nickelodeon hall-of-famer, but why the end reference here? Well, apparently Conway, Sr’s a big thoroughbred racing fan.
Now I’ve spent time in most Las Vegas casinos, all the LA card rooms, an embarrassing number of Indian casinos and home games. The biggest degenerates, by far, are patrons at the horse track. If there was a “Cash for kidney” booth at the track, half the gallery would be walking around with a zipper scar across their lower back. If you want an inside look, I recommend Hunter Thompson’s classic, The Kentucky Derby is Decadent and Depraved.
In any event, Conway’s dad is a comedic genius AND he likes the ponies. Our kind of guy!
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