Getting ready to move back to school in a couple days. I'm typically pretty excited to get back, but this time around it feels pretty different for a couple reasons. A quick warning that this is probably going to be both long, and all over the place.
Last year was pretty different from previous years given the fact that I had taken a year off school a couple years ago, so a lot of my friends that I spent my first and second years with had graduated and weren't back last year, but I was still living with one of my best friends (among 6 girls and another de facto* roommate in the form of a boyfriend of one of the girls) in a great big house and we all got along really well for the most part, so things went well (as I'm sure they will this year, in which case, the upcoming tl;dr post will be fairly useless in say a months time). It was still different in terms of downtime, in a sense that I had never not had the ability to sit around somewhere and have 4+ of my best friends sitting in the same place and just talking shit or drinking or whatever, not to mention going out drinking was always awesome, since there just seemed to always be a party to go to or enough people willing to go to the bar to make it worthwhile. Having said that, I'm finding out everyday that more and more friends of mine are coming back so meh.
*I've been trying to use the term "de facto" properly in a sentence without trying overly hard to work it in there for as long as I can remember. If I find out that I used it incorrectly I'ma be pissed.*
This coming year seems kind of weird though. I'm moving in with a fellow poker player for the first time, which is actually going to be a breath of fresh air from trying to grind in a house full of girls/people who don't understand poker, so that's good.
I can't think of a ton of other positives though. I'm obviously not excited to get back in to the grind of going to classes and writing papers and stuff, especially since I have a bit of a schedule conflict going on in the sense that I need to take an overload of classes this coming semester, which is huge considering I've taken reduced course loads in each of the last two years. I figured that I'd be way more excited to be finished with school than I currently feel I am, though I suppose there are another 8 months in front of me before that. Still, I think I'm just pretty much tired of school. This will be my 5th year of University (2nd didn't really count since I just drank my face off and stopped going to class after Christmas, instead opting to party and hook up with strange women-types), and I just feel so tired of the town and the school.
I hate to let the following come in to play at this stage of my life, especially given the actual nature of it, but anyway.... For the first time in my University life, I'm going to end up leaving a girl back in my hometown when I go back to school. We haven't been together for a very long time per se, and thus we don't really know what's going to become of the whole thing, but still. I've never had to deal with this kind of thing, and this is definitely a downer. The fact of the matter is that most LDR's don't really work out for very long, which we came to terms with before we got together, and I think this whole thing is what's getting me in to this mood that I'm in.
As result of all these things being on my mind lately (plus another 100+ABI downswing), I've not played much poker at all. I just haven't really been in the mood to do a whole lot, which has in all likelihood contributed to the downswing when I actually am playing. That's usually how I get when I head back to school, but it's moreso out of excitement. Instead I've just been bored as balls considering my lack of motivation to play, leaving me with little to do. The summer as a whole was a disappointment, though the last month or so has been pretty good, with more people coming home, getting involved with a cute girl, and losing less money at cards than I did in July. I expected a bunch of fun to start the summer, and while it was less fun than I had anticipated, it was pretty good for a couple weeks until people ended up getting so busy with work that they couldn't really do much. Had poker not gone stagnant for 2 months then I would have gone somewhere to visit friends, but I needed to save money to pay for school, and I've now found out about my upcoming trip to Seoul for Christmas which ought to set me back another several buy-ins.
Still, lately I find myself being a lot more cranky than I've ever been (which for me is like a 5/10 for most people. I've never had a temper or anything, and generally stay pretty positive about things, or at worst, make a joke about whatever I'm feeling riled up about and I'm fine), and completely restless but at the same time not in the mood for anything if that makes sense. I can't come up with any music that I seem to be in the mood for (except Ratatat. Those guys are fucking cool.), same with TV (now that I'm caught up on Mad Men), I'm finding myself making so many more negative comments about things/people/ideas than I ever have and just generally trolling people more, and it seems like I'm just checking the same 4 websites over and over and over all day long, etc.
I guess I'm doing that whole cliche thing and learning a bit about myself. I've always thought that I've been a pretty hard worker at anything that I actually didn't mind doing. For example, any class that I've ever been modestly interested in, I've done pretty well at, vs. the ones that are mandatory or that I just found myself disinterested in, I've just kind of skimmed by doing as little as possible. When I started to golf seriously, I could see that I was getting half decent and started just putting in all kinds of hours at it until school sort of got in the way of that.
But now I'm starting to realize that this might not be the case. Coming in to this summer, my plan was to grind my balls off 5 days a week minimum, and from the end of April to Mid-June, I did that. Beyond that though, I wanted to read tons, watch a bunch of training videos, and just simply get a lot better at poker. If I'm going to be playing poker instead of getting a job for the summer, then I should really be putting a lot of time in to it, since I realize that I'm not good enough at poker yet to be doing this for a living. I feel like I really turned a corner in early June, booking a pretty big couple of weeks, but I don't really know what happened after that. I haven't had the motivation to grind, I'm hardly reading any strat (though the MS MTT on 2p2 has changed that a little bit), and I've taken more days off since Aug. 1 to today than I had from Feb 1-end of July. Just kind of reflecting on this has made me realize that there have been a ton of days that I've been playing this summer in which I've thought "Man I can't wait until these tourneys are over, I have no desire to be playing right now.", not that it's really affected my bottom line on those specific tourneys, but a while ago it would be standard for me to fire up mttsng's until the end of my session if I still had 2 or 3 mtt's left, but I haven't done so in a while it seems.
I'm starting to think that I'm less tough mentally than I had once thought, or I'm at least less mentally tough than I used to be. I so rarely get upset or angry with things, and things just don't ever seem to get to me, but recently I've been kind of cranky at the weirdest times, coming up with snappy answers to things and being just generally short with people who don't deserve it. Things just seem to irrationally affect me so much more than they used to, and it doesn't make any sense at all. I'm playing a game instead of working at 22 years old, when all my friends are either working summer jobs, or having started careers and have all these things to care about. On top of that, I've fallen ass backwards in to a thing with a great girl who, to this point, I'm not exactly sure what initially drew her to me. I have a great family, with my first nephew on the way, and I pretty much have no responsibilities in the world, at least for the time being. Yet still, at times, I consider whether I really want to be playing poker at all. I've put so much time in to it but still have sooooooo much more to learn and I'm really having doubts as to how much commitment I really want to devote to poker. Then I remember what it's like to go to work at 8:00 on a Monday and shrug it off.
So basically what this blog consisted of was me saying that I'm cranky with all these things that are going on in my life, yet listing a billion positive aspects about each one, which pretty much reinforces my original point of view that says that there is really no good reason I should be feeling like this and that I should just man up and count my blessings. Which is actually something that writing this whole thing down and saying it all has helped and now I feel better. So thanks.
PS-- Kind of considered not even bothering with posting this after having reread it, but I think I'm going to be better of getting it up and coming back to it in a couple months for a perspective blast.
Hope I don't regret that one.
Nothing much to report, hence the lack of blogs lately. I've been downswinging since mid-June, which I suppose is to be expected after a really heatered up May and early June. I think I'm going to try and spend some time kind of looking over some stuff from the last couple weeks to see if I can spot anything that I'm doing wrong. Having said that, this past week-10 days has been a bit better than the previous 5-6 weeks, so who knows.
I've taken a lot of time off over the last 3 weeks, which is a combination of not having the motivation to grind, as well as having some stuff to do outside of poker. I had taken off maybe 12 days from the end of school (End of April) up until mid July, but have probably doubled that since July 15ish. I had to take a trip over to my grandmother's house for a family get-together, which obviously turned itself in to a 4-day bender. Immediately after that, a friend who was on vacation spent half that crashing in my house drinking and playing live poker (which we kicked ass in btw), and now I have family down for a week visiting and getting drunk with us until Saturday or Sunday. Long story longer, I average 5-6 days off/month, I've already taken 7 in August. Gonna have to fix that pretty soon.
It's all but official that I'm going to Seoul, South Korea for Christmas this year. My brother has been living over there for the better part of 4 years teaching English, and he and his girlfriend are expecting their first child in Late October/Early November. He can't come home for Christmas since the Christmas holiday in Korea is apparently 1 day for North American's/Euro's/whomever (as in Asians don't do Christmas), and then right back to work the next day. It looks like we're flying out on Christmas day and coming back on the 11th of January, so like 16 days total. Apparently we're going to be deep-frying a turkey in a garbage can.
I'm pretty jacked for this, since I've never been out of North America, and only out of Canada twice, not to mention my lack of nieces/nephews. Online poker is illegal for the most part over there, which is sort of lame I guess (not that I'd want to spend my first trip to Seoul playing online poker), but my brother says that there's some kind of law that prevents Korean Natives from leaving a casino with any more than what they showed up with or something stupid like that, so basically people play holdem for fun and then spew off their profits towards the end of the night. I'll have to ask him to clarify that for me next time I talk to him, but that really sounds like the best thing ever.
I show up like 2 minutes before they deal, but am somehow the first person to sit at my table. I draw the 1-seat (:sad: ) We started with a comedic 4k stack at 25/50, 30 min levels. Looking around my table I get kind of excited, since it's a bunch of older men, 2 women, and one youngish guy across from me in the 5 seat. The guy beside the young guy looks like he's about 40 until I look a little closer at him and realize that he has a fo-hawk, a terrible mustache, and the fruitiest sunglasses I've ever seen. He's got a really nice all black suit on though, plus the fohawk gives him credit for a joke-stache, but decide that i don't really like him all that much regardless. He limps the first 2 hands UTG and takes them when the following hand comes up:
Eff. stacks- 3.8k, stache covers.
UTG limps- He's 45-50, really bad teeth, and has already finished a beer and is on his way to #2. Seems to be a local, and knows the guy to my left.
UTG+1 limps- UTG+1 is joke-stache.
Couple more limps, i complete with junk, bb checks, 5 or 6 to the flop.
2 checks, UTG leads 200, jokestache minraises, everyone else folds back to UTG who calls.
UTG checks, UTG+1 bets 1k, UTG calls.
UTG checks, UTG+1 bets 400 (yes, 400), UTG calls, UTG+1 rolls over KK, UTG claims to have mucked A7.
UTG gets down to like 5bb's about 4 times, and up to over 75bb's twice before the table breaks.
4 hands later-- I've raised once, and c-bet and took it, so I have like 4.5k and cover villain, but barely.
Preflop- 3 folds, ~40yo limps, as he's done a few times, 2 folds, ~50yo lady limps, as she's done once before in the only hand she played. Folds around to me on the BTN, I look down at QhQs and make it 250, man folds, lady calls.
Lady donks 400, I flat.
Lady donks 500, I take ~20 seconds and make it 1350, she thinks a second and calls.
lady snap checks, I think for 15 seconds and move in for ~2300, she says that I probably caught the flush and takes a while before folding what I assume was a 9, I'm up to ~6k.
I notice that the young guy (Jason from here on in) across from me is pretty sharp with chips, cutting them to count and shuffling them really well, but he's also been pretty tight. He loses a pot with JJ and is down to like 1.7k and shortstacks for the next hour or so. I end up doubling the guy with the bad teeth from earlier in a 4 way limped pot when I flop top pair on a monotone flop and call a small check-raise AI only to be up against the sb's AKcc for a flopped flush (Yes, SB, 4 ways, limped, AKs).
Same dude triples up the next hand, then busts a guy the hand after that, and has < 10K at 50/100 after being down to 400 chips like half an hour earlier. I get up and grab a water and turn my chair backwards to sit AC Slater style when I come back. I count my chips incorrectly, thinking that I have 4k and change, when I really had just over 5k when this hand comes.
Bad tooth guy opens to 625 UTG+2 9 handed at 100/200, folds around to me in the BB, I shove AKo. He asks how much it is, I say "Like 4200 total?" The dealer counts out something like 5125 total... oops. Guy turns his AcTc face up says "I really like this hand." I do my best to look nervous and purse my lips a little bit. He must have gotten some kind of read off me or something, because he calls. I turbo turn over my AK and flop a K and hold to double to over 10k and 50+bb stack.
We get a 10min break soon after. I go for a pee and run in to someone that I go to school with in the lobby, and brag to him about how soft and passive my table is. As I come back in to the room, it's just me and the Young guy sitting at the table. He asks for a courtesy double (he's sitting on like 8bb's at this point), and I say "Yeah maybe. I really don't want this table to break until it absolutely has to."
Next level is 100/200/25a, and jokestache asks what an ante is. I hold back laughter. The guy to my left has been a giant nit, but once antes come in to play he doesn't shut up about how "there's an extra 200 in there when you raise and take it". I really want him to shut up because I plan on raising every single pot from here on in. 4 hands later, jokestache is BB and doesn't post his ante, only to find out that the blinds still have to post antes, which is apparently "insaaaane man".
My next 4 hands are 72o, 73o, 32s, 53s. I raise each of these, get blinds and antes twice, get flats and flop-folds the other two. Jason squeeze-shoves over my open like 3 hands later, and the flatter calls with T9s and doubled him up. I continue to raise most every hand minraise+25 to a high level of effectiveness. At one point, after actually folding 3 (!) hands in a row, I'm in the SB. It folds around to some girl on the button who open limps 200 with like 6.7k I make it 725 after looking only at my Kc, bb folds, she flats. I bet 925 without even looking at the flop, she pulls the chip off her cards, looks at them, and then sits there for about a minute. "let's go, you're folding, come on" I say. She obliges.
Next orbit, I've raised 4 hands in a row at this point.
Effective Stacks- Villain-~5.7k, I cover with 11k, maybe a bit less.
Preflop- folds around to me in sb. I make it 525 at 100/200/25a with Ac8d, villain calls fast.
I follow with 650, he calls quick.
I bet 1225, he calls quickly again.
I count out 2625, shuffle it for a second, and say "Nah you got the ace" and rap the table while sighing, planning on checkshoving and hoping to induce a bet from an Ax or any Q, since I thought that with my image, he'd certainly put some bluffs or Qx in my range. He thinks for a second and then tables ATo. He tells me that he was folding if I had bet that 2625, but I don't believe him.
As I'm scooping this pot, I can see the floor man walking over. I look up at the screen and see that there are 44 players remaining of the 80 that started the session, and that we are the next table to break. I tell Harris, the dealer, to hurry up and deal so we can get a few more hands in before the table breaks. He doesn't even get the cards dealt before the next player busts, and the floorman tells me to move to table 3. I say "Fuck" out loud, the young guy across from me laughs and says "Oh I'm sure all the tables will be this easy." I say that I hope so, but find out immediately that he's wrong.
I'm at my new table for maybe 10 minutes before I get moved to even up tables. I Slater my chair immediately and remove my hoodie to reveal that I'm wearing my Bum Ho jersey. I'm in the bb in my first hand at my 3rd table.
Eff. stacks- SB- 13k, I cover with ~14.5k. We're the two biggest stacks at the table, and probably in the top 5 in the room, as we're about 2.5x avg. SB is probably 25, wearing a white hoody and hat, and has a couple days growth in his beard. I assume he's an internet guy.
Preflop- Folds around to sb, he makes it 1100. I look down at red KK and think for a second before sliding out 3150, he tanks and folds. Had it not been for the facts that (1) I'm Slatered, (2) it's my first hand at the table, (3) he's a young guy who probably plays online, (4) I'm wearing a bright orange jersey that says "Hanhwa Eagles" on the front and "Bum Ho" with a 7 on the back, I probably just flat here, but with all those things combined, I decide that if I can induce a 4b shove from anyone in any spot, it's this one, since I "want to assert my dominance at my new table, and who better to do that against but the other big stack?". Meh.
I raise and get 3bet twice over the next orbit, folding both since it was an old pasty man 3betting both times. Next hand I play:
stacks- villain (HJ) 9-9.5k, I cover with ~13k.
Preflop, there's an EP limp, folds around to villain, he limps (he's a fat guy who has been chatty and friendly with everyone at our end of the table, though I haven't said much over the 10-12 hands I've been here, and he hasn't spoken to me really). Anyway, CO limps, BTN limps, I complete the SB with Ts3s, bb checks. I check the flop dark, Hellmuth style.
Flop- 3c4c5c. Action checks around.
I grab two of each color chip and lead 1250. HJ flats, all others fold.
I lead for 3350 hoping to get value out of a hilariously played flush, but more likely a pocket pair or a stubborn 5. I get called quickly. I feel certain that I missed out on a ton of value by not CRAI or just simply cramming on my own, and get that feeling confirmed when I roll over my hand, to which he replies "Sick. So sick" and turns JTo.
Young guy to my right opens a bunch of hands over the next few orbits but doesn't get 3bet, meanwhile I get jammed on every single time I open. I double a dude up with AK vs. his 77 and the blinds go up to 400/800/50a, so I'm down to like 20-22bbs. A guy from my first table gets moved over to the fat guy's seat. He limps a lot and is really passive. He jams one hand for like 7700 over limps and gets folds, then open limps the next hand on the button. SB pops it to 3000, BTN flats. SB bets 3800 on 9c9x7c and folds when BTN shoves like 4300 more. My stomach turns.
Little while later, there are 23 players left, with top 16 moving on to Sunday, and people are looking at the screens to see if people are busting and stuff. The structure is so bad that Avg. stack atm is like 14.5bbs, though the structure reverts to 200/400/25a to start Sunday, but I'm mehing, I want a stack going in to Sunday for a shot to win.
I live-misclick UTG with ATo, trying to make it 1775, but accidentally put in 1575 without saying anything, so they make me limp. UTG+1 limps, folds around to CO, who just lost KK<AQ two hands ago, but is apparently the defending champion of this tourney. He jams ~4400, folds around to BB who flats, and I just assume that he's up to no good, so I fold. CO rolls over 66, BB 88, I curse for not shipping my 22bbs. Board comes K4468 and everyone freaks out twice.
Two hands later, I'm SB when an interesting spot comes up, still at 4/800/50a.
Stacks, BTN (young guy to my right that I 3b in the KK hand)- ~18k, Me- 16.7k, CO- ~11k, HJ- ~12.5k Both CO and HJ are passive and limp a lot, raising big hands and limping others.
Preflop- folds around to HJ, who limps, as does CO. BTN makes it 3600. I decide that this will be a really good spot to 3-bet jam and plan on doing so reasonably wide given the ~7k in the middle. I look down at 9c9d and shove, thinking I fold out like TT/maybe JJ/AQ-. Folds back around to BTN who calls and says "*sigh* you don't have AA do you?" as he rolls over KK. I brick and assume he's going to win the tourney.
I leave the tournament room and walk outside, only to realize that I've yet to use my food voucher. I 180 and go back. There's a cute girl working at the counter. It's kind of late, so I ask her how long they're open, and she says for another half hour or so. I tell her that I'm going to go talk to Steve (the pitboss) for a second and see if he can find me a seat at the cash tables before ordering. Steve is my sister's roommate, and I'm going to be sleeping on their couch tonight, so I'm just going to wait for Steve to drive me home. Steve butts me in front of like 7 people on the list, and I go back to the restaurant. I order a sandwich, which comes to like $3. I tell the girl that I need more food, because it's a $10 voucher and I'm getting my full $10 worth, since I can only use it tonight. She informs me that the tournament is still running tomorrow (Saturday, which is now yesterday I think), which, to me, seems like something that I would obviously know already.
"I'd love nothing more than to be back here tomorrow, however those of us who have 0 chips left are no longer permitted to play" I answer.
"I'd love nothing more than to be anywhere but here tomorrow." She says.
"Should have played the tournament" I say, with a smile.
"I'd way rather go for ice cream." she says, grinning.
I'm quite confident that this girl wants me to take her for ice cream tomorrow. We chat for a while until my foods ready, and I tell her I'll see her around, despite the fact that I will not see her around, since I don't live here. She comes around and starts wiping tables that have clearly already been recently wiped. We keep chatting, and I tell her that I'm uncomfortable because she's watching me eat. She laughs because she thinks I'm joking; I legitimately don't ever get nervous if I'm talking to girls or playing poker or doing whatever-- but I get really paranoid when people watch me eat for some reason. Anyhoo...
The restaurant is just outside the tournament room, and players go on break while we're still talking. That Jason guy from my first table comes out and sees me, and sits down. We chat for a second, long enough for him to inform me that he shoved 3 hands in a row right after I left, doubling through with A4<QT on the third, and from that point forward he tells me that he scooped up about 60% of the chips at the table until it broke. He also gave me props for making it tough on him, I wish him luck and he leaves.
As he's walking away, joke-stache walks up to the desk looking for an order of fries, but they're done serving for the night. I tell him to grab a handful of mine since I won't finish them. He thanks me for the fries and says that he was glad that I busted because I was clearly the best player left, and that I played really really well in every spot. I thank him and definitely don't return the compliment since he was terrible and wouldn't know a good poker player from a hole in his head.
The young guy that I busted to came up to me after that and tells me that it's a really shitty spot for me when I get the 99 there. I ask him what he iso's with there but folds to my shove, he says A9-A5s and 77. I say "pfft" and return to my sandwich and waitress, who is now just sitting across from me nibbling on a fry.
She asks how old you have to be to play in the tournament. WTF? You work here. I try to decide if she's just stupid and running out of things to say or if this is a real question. "Uhh, 19" I say (Canadaments).
"Oh, how old are you?" she asks. I'm getting kind of skeptical here the longer this chat goes on.
"I'm 22." I answer, "Why? How old are you?"
"Oh... I thought you were younger. I just turned 17."
"Why are you 17?" I say forcibly, while stuffing my remaining 12 fries in to my mouth, also forcibly. I leave without saying bye or securing a phone number. Enjoy the prom.
I sit at a cash table waiting for Steve. I 3bet AQs my 2nd hand at the table over a raise and a flat. Both flat and I check fold on JT2dd when the original raiser shoves $75. A while later I flat 77 from the sb after a raise and 2 flats. Flop 632, I check and try to jam over a cbet and flat, but live-misclick again, dropping a $25 chip short of the line and they make it a call. Turn is an offsuit 9 and I shove like 80 in to 115 and get called by 96 and brick. I've successfully rinsed off a buyin at live 1/2NL for the first time in my life. I run in to Jason as I'm leaving and he tells me that he got it in with AA on a T high board vs. bottom set for in what would have been a 95k pot at 800/1600.
I leave and get beers with Steve and we talk about WSOP and sportsbetting and stuff. We discuss some of the hands I played and tells me that he folds JJ and probably even AK to my shove if I'm unknown, and that my shove is fine if BTN had been opening a lot. He's one of those 2003-era PartyPoker guys who got all the money when it was still available, but doesn't really play much anymore because he doesn't like sitting in front of a computer for hours.
I sleep on the couch until like noon, then go for sushi with my sister. Last time I went to this place, I went with old college roommates. We went at like noon and stayed until about 4:30 getting shitfaced on sake. We didn't know at the time that this sushi bar closes at 2pm until the evening rush that starts at ~5, but asian people are too polite, so they just kept serving us, despite the fact that shifts were over long ago. We were too drunk to notice, or care for that matter, that nobody was coming in to the bar, and that the waitress cleaned and mopped around us. When she finished doing all that, she sat down with us and we just chatted for a while, and I ended up scoring this girl's phone number despite the fact that she was clearly in her 30's and apparently I don't even look 22.
Fast forward to this time, I'm nervous that I'm going to see this waitress and have to be faced with the unpleasentness of seeing her again despite having not taken her up on the offer of getting together outside of this joyous sushi establishment. Fortunately, the waitress from last time is not working, which is good since I'm with my sister and would rather not be hitting on girls in that situation. It's not that there is anything wrong with this girl, I just don't live in this town and spend about 30hr's/year in this town to begin with. I order the volcano roll and my mouth is on fire for the next several hours, though I polish off 3 Sapporo beers and feel joyous.
I go back to my sister's house waiting for my other sister to get off work and drive me home. I go back and get more sushi whilst waiting. I then look up directions for making sushi. I pretty much think only of sushi for the next 4 hours, then I write this, and now I'm thinking about sushi again.