Grab a sandwich, fellas. It’s a long one.

Strange utterances and horrible pronouncements

In the Inferno, the first part of The Divine Comedy, the Roman poet Virgil guides Dante on a tour of Hell, moving past each of nine concentric circles of the damned toward the center of the Earth where Satan lies bound in ice. The inhabitants of each circle are progressively more heinous and their punishments are tailored to their crimes on Earth. It's an entertaining read (translated, of course) and offers surprising parallels to my recent run through the California State Poker Championships (CSPC) at the Commerce Casino.

I hadn’t played a live tournament since the World Series and decided it was time to take a run at a score. The CSPC culminates in a two-day event with a buy-in ($2590) and field that’s just painful enough to make winning it worth the effort. Past champions include Ferguson, Pham, Laak and even Ben Affleck (this is the event he won a couple years back before J-Lo made him kick his poker habit). My own poker skills suggest that writing an Academy Award winning screenplay or getting a PhD in computer science might be easier ways to break into this group, but I’d been off the felt just long enough to once again believe I could be a contender in a live event.

The last few tournaments I’ve played have been stinkers—several hours of awkward thrashing and hacking to stay above average only to be sent to the rail holding a heavy favorite. At best, I feel like I’m in the 5th Circle of Hell alternatively watching the wrathful fighting just above the surface of the Styx or struggling, with the other sullen and slothful, just beneath. Most times though, I feel like I’m stuck in the Vestibule, that nasty holding pen just beyond the gates inscribed “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.” It’s in this spiritual grey area that those souls not quite worthy of heaven but not bad enough for Hell mill about. The wafflers, the ne’er-do-wells, those who never really took a stand in life find themselves here, tormented by hornets and wasps. It’s certainly nothing to look forward to and a great argument for taking action in life and its conflicts. It’s the punishment of the uncommitted, if you will, and not a bad metaphor for my typical tournament experience.

Of course, while I suffer my usual tournament fate, there’s always some cheery soul, breezing along with a monstrous pyramid of chips like Dante himself led safely through wretchedness by Virgil. In my poker career, I've been that carefree guy once—in the satellite I won to enter my first WSOP Main Event. In that sat, I was within a breath of the felt and then suddenly went on a tear that included flopping quads vs a boat, a boat vs trips and at least one three outer. Forty-five minutes later, I had the chip lead by some stupid amount with hours left to play. I can't remember the numbers exactly, but my stack size was so absurd that the tournament director confided to me that I could safely go have a nice dinner and just come back later to pick up my entry ticket. Instead, I stuck around to savor the feeling and, like sex for the first time, it left me convinced that the next time I was in a similar spot, I'd do even more with my stack whether I needed to or not.

The challenge is, of course, building the big stack without the gift of fortune. In the WSOP sat, it was all luck smiling on me, and I understand the math of this game enough to know that hope is not a winning game plan. With that and the “Abandon all hope” quote in mind, I therefore resolved to be more aggressive and take more chances to accumulate chips in this tournament, forsaking survival for the active creation of a stack that would make even LakeofFire blush. Of course, everyone thinks they're a bad-ass right up until the point that they actually NEED to be a bad-ass, so I was looking forward to seeing if I could actually prove myself worthy of my new mindset.

From the dark wood into the depths…

Like Dante’s own journey, the first day of the event started on a dreary note. It rained hard in LA on Friday night and continued off and on through Saturday. I woke up early, uploaded some photos that Landlord79 sent from his recent Biloxi tour—Hard Rock, Beau Rivage and Boomtown—and hit the gym for a nice workout. I like to get a good workout in before a long day of sloth but made a mental note to leave extra early. People in LA get The Fear when it rains—even the most minor drizzle creates all sorts of freeway havoc. As it turned out, though, the weather seemed to have scared them inside. I drove down to the Commerce (maybe 30 minutes from my house) without a hitch and arrived just in time to see Jamie Gold pull up in a new Toyota Prius. Hmmm. He’s shorter than I expected and Earth-friendly.

The tournament started in 20 minutes and I headed up to the second floor tournament area to pick up a new player card (required for entry) and sign up. Commerce holds its tournaments in a 2nd floor ballroom that houses the low stakes NL and limit games. For major tournaments, there's a room divider that's easily retracted creating a larger ballroom capable of handling 60+ tables. The room is self-sufficient with a cashier and snack bar which serves alcohol. There are only a few small flat screen TVs scattered about, but during major tournaments, the tournament clock is projected on a large screen easily visible from any seat in the room. You can get a sense of the room below…








Limbo

This year 362 wretches, including James Woods, Men Nguyen, Amir Vahedi, Kenna James, Cam Hua, John Phan et al., braved the rain to show up for the event. Most of these lost souls have little hope of redemption but are here in Limbo anyway making up a total prize pool of $877,850. Actually, the first Circle of Hell as Dante describes it (aka Limbo) isn’t all that bad; it’s where the pagans are corralled and their punishment is simply that they’ll never see God. Not good, of course, but not as bad as being immersed in a lake of boiling pitch with the corrupt politicians or being steeped in human excrement with the false flatterers. Fortunately, the majority had already secured their spot in Limbo prior to my arrival—the line was short and within five minutes I had my seating ticket and food voucher.

As with most Commerce tournaments, it started on time and without a hitch. For the biggest card room in the world, holding a forty table tournament is roughly comparable to Bond18 making a sandwich—a minor distraction from profitable ring games but critical to keep the machine moving forward.

We started with 5000 chips with the blinds at 25/50 and 60 minute levels. It’s not the deepest start obviously but, for the money, not a bad value. If you’re so inclined you can see the structure here…

The Structure

I didn't think to check early on but most of the tournament was played 9-handed or less. I’m guessing we were 9-handed throughout because I don’t remember ever feeling crowded at the table. In any event, it was a comfortable set up, and at 2p, we were off.

A nice start courtesy of a fraudulent soul

A few hands into the tournament, there was a limper to me in MP with 87. The new, cavalier me figured he’d experiment a little and limped, too. The DB came along and one of the blinds raised to 250. This may be a $2590 buy-in tournament, but it's also the Commerce low stakes NL room where building a pot out of position is sacrosanct, so we all called. There’s 1250 in the pot going to the flop.

A nice T46 flop gave me a double gutter with a flush draw. One of the blinds bet out for 500 and there was one other caller to me. I’m usually raising here but decided to just call, hit the turn and win a big pot instead of just blowing a misguided soul off a smaller one. Hey, Cleopatra and Helen of Troy are in the 2nd Circle with the rest of the lustful; I’ll take my chances. 2750 in the pot headed to the turn.

The turn was the lovely 5 giving me the nut straight. It's checked to me, and I bet 1300 with EP limper coming along. The river was Q something and the EP player…shoved? Uh, ok…I called and he mucked a missed diamond draw. Sir, the 8th Circle of Hell is for the fraudulent and thieves, and I believe they're waiting for you there. The rest of you wretches, meet your early chip leader.

Gluttonous and greedy

At this point, I picked up some nice hands but failed to make much progress. The 3rd Circle houses the gluttonous and the 4th the greedy, but I didn’t care. Like Bush after the 2004 elections, I felt I had a mandate and, however misguided, I intended to act upon it.

AQo. I raised pre-flop with two callers behind. I whiffed the flop but bet out anyway only to be renounced by two callers. The turn blanked and I check-folded in shame like a corrupt politician.

AKo. I raised pre-flop with three callers. Whiffed the flop and check-folded again. Bah! The uncommitted are damned, remember?

AK…with T exposed pre-flop. Like the sorcerers and false prophets in the 9th Circle, I can only see behind me, not the future, so with my royal flush draw ruined, I was satisfied to just raise and take the blinds.

On the last hand of the level, UTG raised to 150. I was on the DB with yet another stupid connector, 75, and called. The small blind re-raised to 750 and we both shamed the low stakes NL room and folded.

At this point, we were an hour in, I'd played about 15 of the 30 or so dealt hands and anyone at the table who hadn’t pegged me for some ridiculous LAG-tard had to be brain-dead.

Sighs and lamentations

The wonderful rush of quality hands deserted me and I treaded water until the last hand before the 10-minute break after Level 2 (50/100). Two limpers to me on the DB with 88, I raised to 400. The small blind completed and the others called to build a 1600 pot.

The flop = J87 with two spades. The small blind led out for 800 and leery of the draw nasty board , I bumped it to 2400. Despite my hyperactive first level, I failed to convince him I was full of crap and he folded. Whatever. It’s better than him hitting his four-outer straight on the turn, I guess. I now had a little over 12,000 chips and was the big stack at the table.

As an aside, one of things that's cool about playing a poker tournament in LA is that besides the usual raft of degenerates, you meet some interesting dudes. At my table directly to my left was Martin Shafer, Head of Castle Rock Entertainment and a regular high stakes player. CastleRock's credits include When Harry Met Sally, A Few Good Men, The Shawshank Redemption, Best in Show and Seinfeld. We had a fun chat about the early years of Seinfeld and the most recent season of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Unfortunately, his luck with TV and film picks was a little better than with his poker. He was out shortly before level 4.

Level 3 was uneventful but Level 4 (100/200) got spirited when two big stacks directly to my right decided to mix it up. Big stack limped in UTG and it folded around to 2nd big stack in the big blind to his direct right. BB raised to 800 and the big stack called.

Flop was KJ8. Check, check. Turn was a 9 at which point it turned into a silly min-raise fest. It all got in with the bigger big stack’s slow-played eights demolished by a turned set of nines. Slow player (SP) promptly hit a couple of good hands in a row and was back in contention and I tried to figure out where I stand at the table.

To my right, I had two loose players. SP to my direct right would call down with 3rd pair with Harpies shrieking in his face and the guy to his right was the big stack (courtesy of the set of 9s) at the table.

To my left, there was a calling station maybe three seats away and apparently, he’s anxious to see me progress to the next level with his chips. I raised an unopened pot with 9s to 750; he called. Flop came 8 high and I continued with 1300. He showed KJ and folded. Two hands later, I raised with AJo to 750. Same guy called. I continued with 1300 and took the pot. Sir, please report to the 7th Circle with the other prodigals who squandered their possessions.

What makes you think I’m coveting your jacket?

We're four hours in now, about halfway through the field with 20 tables still active—call it 180 players left. There were about 1.8 million chips in play and I was stuck around 12k-ish, a little over average courtesy of expert plays like the following.

Limped to me in the small blind with A9o, I completed and saw a JT8 flop. I check-called the flop and led out at the turn to take the pot. In retrospect, there’s nothing special about the hand other than how poorly I played it out of position, but like confession, it makes me feel better for having admitted and taken responsibility for it.

Looking around the table, there was a kid across from me in a Party Poker jacket. Not just any Party Poker jacket, mind you. He was sporting the tan faux suede one from the old days when it was the nicest item in the Party Poker store. He completed his look by putting on his Oakleys every time he was in a hand so I could tell he meant business.

To his right and across from me was a woman who I've seen in LA tournaments and remember blowing the old, nitty me off a pair of queens early in the LA Poker Classic. In her bust-out hand here, she raised UTG and PartyPoker jacket guy (PPJG) called and I called in position with 77. She bet out for 1200 on an 8 high flop. In turn, he raised to another 2700 and I ducked out of the hand. Back to her, she thought for a bit and moved all-in for another couple thousand. He snap-called with JJ. Her 89 didn’t improve and headed off to the 7th Circle to lament with the other suicides.

We broke for dinner with 20 minutes left at Level 5. I was still holding 12k, about average, and got encouragement from Adanthar, nath, LakeofFire, lakong and PianoMan. The general consensus was that I’ll need to get busy after dinner but not do anything stupid. Nice to know that, to a man, my poker colleagues felt the need to remind me not to be a lazy fool.

I stare death in the face

We returned from dinner with 17 tables left, 9 players per table. We were still at Level 5 with 100/200/25 ante. I was UTG+1 the gun with TT and raised to 1000, PartyPoker jacket guy (SB) and big stack (BB) both called.

The flop brought 987 and PartyPoker jacket guy led out for 300 (WTF?) into a 3000 pot. BB called, obviously. I was a suspicious of that laughable bet but made it 3000 straight. Back to you, sir. Are you virtuous or a hypocrite? While he was thinking, I was trying to sort out what I'd do if he shoved. I was mostly worried about a set, obv. I didn't figure he had an over pair given his PF play or the high end of a straight with me holding two of the Ts. I figured I had 30% equity in this pot, but I had 7-8k left behind. If he shoved, it would be a close call and I could be way behind. As it was, he folded QQ face up. Uh, what?

At this point, the big stack went on a rant about how I had AK and he'd have never laid down there…blah, blah, blah. I was tempted to point out to him that heretics in the 6th Circle are trapped in flaming tombs and the fraudulent advisers in 8th Circle are encased in individual flames so either way he wouldn’t be needing that stupid hoodie he was wearing much longer. But PPJG was convinced his read was good. "The only hand I'd want to see there was JJ. He's got a lot of outs if he had TT or the big flush draw, and I'm smoked if he's got kings." I'll give him credit. Despite his donkish flop bet, PartyPoker jacket guy thought it out.

That said, I'll never understand why guys recap their thought process openly at the table. From that little exchange, I pegged the big stack as a dope who'd think anybody was "making a move." and the PartyPoker jacket guy as a thoughtful player. Had they both kept quiet, I'd be none the wiser about either.

Confronting the heretic

A few hands later, it was limped to me on the dealer button with 88. I raised to 800 and was joined by two callers including the non-believer with the big stack.

Flop was T87.

Big stack bet 1000 and when I raised to 3000, he blurted out "I can't beat AKo." And shows 53. He then went through some expert analysis about how he should've re-raised me.

"Yeah, I don't know what I'd have done if you'd re-raised me." I said and let him stew on that. I'm not sure which circle of Hell is reserved for donuts, but just hang out in the 8th Circle with the other sowers of discord. We’ll let you know.

The heretic and I mix it up a little later, 30 minutes into level 6. There were 15 tables remaining with an average stack of 15,000. I was sitting with 17,500 chips and Q6 in SB. I taunted the Furies and completed.

The flop was KJT.

I checked and the all-knowing big stack bet 2000. I contemplated check-raising but opted to call since I wasn’t sure how I want to play the turn if he called a raise.

Turn was 4

Check. Check. Oooo…thanks.

4

Ok, then…I bet out 2000 with my flush, and the big stack was apoplectic. "I'm folding the winning hand! I can't believe I'm folding the winning hand!" I grinned and said, "You folded a made hand just ‘cause I repped the flush? Dude, you were getting 3 to 1 or something..." and stacked the chips. “That’s all right. You and I will meet again.” He countered. Oooooo, so foreboding…

On the last hand before the break, I was UTG with AK and raised. An Asian guy in LP called and we saw an awesome...

AK9 flop.

I bet 2500 with my top two. He called.

Turn was a 3. I bet 5000. He called.

River was another 3. I bet another 5000 and he folded his missed royal flush draw and we're on to Level 7 with me sitting with about 30k. What’s that? Nice hand, you say? Thanks…please note that false flatterers are in Circle 8.

Back from the abyss

Over the course of the next hour and a half I managed to evaporate 11 or 12k chips via general stupidity and had 19,000 chips as we headed into Level 8 (300/600 with 75 ante). We were playing eight people per table, so there was 1500 in the pot to start the hand.

Kenna James was now at my table with a slightly less than average stack. We also had a massive chip leader present who was on one of those heaters that’s just nauseating to watch. He flopped quads and got paid. Turned a boat and got paid. If he was in the hand, he hit it…and got paid. So fun to watch and live vicariously when you’re fighting to stay average. Ah, well, Dante dealt with envy in the Purgatorio. Perhaps another day.

Wielding my own stack like a three legged stool in a bar fight, I worked back up to 24,000 chips, but then promptly gave it back when I opened from the cut-off with QT and one of the blinds pushed on me. Couple thousand to call, whatever. He showed K3 and doubled through.

An orbit later I raised from DB with 33 and SB pushed on me for another couple thousand. He showed AK and the remaining seven aces and five kings in the deck found their way to the board. Anyone else here need chips while I’m at it?

I re-surveyed my situation. To my direct right, one guy who's been playing tight. I had him covered. Two and three spots to the right are two big chip stacks, maybe 40k and 50k. Two shorties to my direct left so I have to be careful about raising indiscriminately. I finally sorted it all out and was promptly moved to another table where now I was the short stack. Lovely.

I sat down and two to my left was some Middle Eastern guy with shiny gold rim sunglasses. My first hand in, I raised his blind with KTo. He defended against my obvious move and led out at the T high flop. Sir, this one’s for the violent ones over in the 7th Circle. I moved ALL IN for the first time of the day. He looked at me as if I’d stolen his pinkie ring and folded. Let that be a lesson to those who would defend their blind against me. I’ll flop TPGK and shove with conviction.

A few hands later I was UTG with 88 and raised. There was one caller behind, a younger, confident player who looked fully capable of floating some grey-haired pretender with a voice recorder.

The flop was 99x, two diamonds and I bet 4000. He called.

Turn was a blank. I bet 6000. He called. Eww. Sixes? Sevens? A9?

River was an ace.

Nath's recent post flashed through my mind, but I check anyway, and because he hadn't read said post, the player checked behind. 88 goot and I was healthy again with about 34k chips.

More confrontations with the damned

With the blinds going to 400/800/100 ante, we colored up the little ones. I had 35k chips with an average stack at 25k and 60 people left and set off on a little bit of a heater.

Some would be seducer raised my blind from the button. I re-raised with my beefy pair of 5s and took his chips. In the DB with QQ, I raised again and again took the pot. Next hand, AK in the CO. Guy in front limped, I raised for the third time in a row and again took the pot down. Can’t you guys see I’m just messing with you? Gimme some action! I was now sitting with over 40k chips.

We broke at level 10 (500/1000/200). It was quarter of one in the morning, we were playing down to 27 or 2a and with 52 players left, it looked like 2a. Side note: at 1a and there’s a ton of people playing baby NL upstairs at the Commerce. 8-10 tables fighting over $10 pots. Nice.

Back from the break, I raised with KJo from the CO and folded to re-raise from a guy who's been playing tight.

PartyPoker jacket guy was still in and re-seated to my right. He looked like the chip leader.

I picked up some chips when a short stack pushed from UTG and I called with JJ from the blind. He turned over K5o and the jacks held.

I had a nervous moment with TT in the DB when a woman with 60k two seats to my right raised to 4k. I re-raised another 10k. She stared at me for about two minutes and folded AQo face up.

The very next hand, I was in the CO with AK. Big stack to my direct right raised from the hijack to 3500. I re-raised another 10k. He folded. At this point, my table thinks I’m a bad-ass for playing sheriff to the two big stacks at the table.

It was quarter of 2 now and I made a mental note to not do something stupid from here out. We’re 42 players left and I was tired. I’d just as soon get some sleep before mixing it up any further.

I was moved to a table with Amir Vahedi. When I sat, Amir's in the middle of a one orbit timeout for language and was still whining his case from the other side of the velvet rope. What adult does that? Get some dignity, sir.

At 10 minutes of 2a, the level changed and the blinds increased to 600/1200/200. I folded my way to the finish, bagged up 42,800 chips and headed home pretty much in the middle of the pack going into day 2. I got home around 2:40a still would up from the day. I got a bite to eat, answered some emails and finally crashed around 3:30a.

Day 2

My wife and cats were annoyingly active by 8a so I got up, bummed around for a bit and rattled off 40 minutes of laps in the pool to get the blood flowing and feel good about sitting for another day. I pulled on a black t-shirt with Russian wording on it that I've convinced myself is from some seedy Moscow strip club. Next time I see him, Adanthar will probably point out to me that Alexi's construction business spelled "plumbing" wrong on their promo shirts, but for now I feel like an edgy bad-ass.

It was quarter of 2p when I got back to the Commerce. I looked at the day 2 seating draw and discovered I was 20th of 40 players with 42,800. At my table, I started the day with one of the chip leaders to my direct right and Vahedi to my far left. Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am, stuck in the middle…

We started with 5 tables, eight to a table, and I made my way to the bubble staying pretty much even, raising when folded to me and 3-betting out of my blind at opportune moments. I managed to pick up some ok hands to work with—A5o, 99, whatever—so I held my own against a pretty active table.

The bubble

At 28 players, the two big stacks at my table (both to my right) got it all in with KK v AA. One player raised from the CO, the other re-raised from the BB. The big stack moved in and the other stack insta-called with AA. Cue much howling and celebration by the short stacks until they realized that KK player had AA slightly covered and both players were still alive after the hand. Sit down, fellas, and act like men.

As it turns out, the KK player kept his cool, tripled up and made the money easily. And in a divine twist of fate, the Bubble Boy was the heretic/sower of discord who'd been the big stack at my table and repeatedly miscalled my hand the prior day. The 8th Circle’s a nasty, nasty place, sir. Let that be a lesson to ya!

Where’s Virgil when you need him?

After the bubble broke, I moved to a new table with 50k+ versus the 64k average where I engaged in the first of several end game gaffes. With the blinds increased to 1000/2000/300 ante, there was an UTG raiser to 7000. With one caller to me on the DB with 67, I called. 19k pot, why not? Well, maybe because I’m not deep enough to make the implied odds work or outplay the other guys on the flop, but hey, we’re all just trying to learn, right? As the dealer burned, I mentally prepared to push with any pair and a draw. Of course, the flop was 833 two diamonds. 26k pot. UTG bet out 11k. I have 43k+ behind. I folded and wondered if they were still serving lunch back in Limbo with the other non-committals.

[As an aside, I posted this hand on 2+2 and the general consensus was fold pre-flop and jam flop as played. Oops.]

The next orbit brought the first limped pot in a while. It was limped to me on DB with A4. Not willing to spoil the moment or build a pot with a baby ace, I limped, too. When everyone checked the A on the flop, I bet 7500 and took the pot.

Down to 24 players, I had K8o in the BB. The CO, an Asian player I recognized from another tournament, raised my BB to 6500 for the second time in a row. I re-raised this obvious steal attempt another 16k and he folded without incident. 8th Circle for you, sir, perhaps? That’s right…with the other fraudulent ones.

I was still sitting relatively short with 50k and we were playing 5-handed while the TD sorted out the next table move. It was folded to me on DB with QJo so I raised to 10k just to blow the blinds out. Yikes…the small blind came over the top for 18k total. Gross, but I called getting a 3 or 4 to 1. He showed KK but a QJ on the flop sent him to the rail. Wow, so that’s what it feels like to suck-out late. Ok, then.

In which I’m labeled a Thief

I was now sitting with 80k chips with 23 players and raised to 8k from the CO with 55. The big blind, some guy named Dallas (“As in Texas.”…uh, right…I think I got that) re-raised another 10k and showed J9o. He said he raised dark because I've been raising his button EVERY TIME. The new me must be the new me, because that’s the first time anyone’s ever accused me of that. Somewhere LakeofFire was beaming with pride.

We were down to last two tables (18 people left) still at 1500/3000/500. I was using my 58k to steal blinds but making no headway to the field. There was a flurry of carnage when the panderers and seducers at the other table took on Eric Crisp, the big stack and eventual tournament winner, who celebrated each confrontation like Terrell Owens of old. This looks like his first real win and I’m sure he played well, but if I could have any wish in the poker world, it would be that people learn to win gracefully. I mean is it too much to ask to see a little more Tom Brady and a little less Chaz Michael Michaels on the felt?

The 9th Circle is not for the timid

In any event, we’re down to 15 players. Dante’s 9th Circle of Hell is reserved for traitors—not your basic two-face scum, but those who’ve committed crimes against their kin and God. I can’t say I’m overly religious but I am loyal and there’s no way the ultimate spot for me would include the likes of Judas, Cassius et tu, Brutus? That said, the following hand extended my betrayal of self-commitment and set off a nauseating hand sequence.

I was UTG with 44 with Can Kim Hua two seats my right. He was a big stack and raised any limped or unopened pot. I was sitting with 50k—just enough to wait for a better spot—and knowing a limp would draw a beefy raise and a raise could well result in a sickening raise, re-raise, fold sequence, I folded.

Of course, Hua raised and a couple of players joined him in the pot. I don’t remember anything from the rest of the hand except the giant 4 in the middle of it and the massive number of chips that found their way to the pot thereafter. I considered bludgeoning myself to death on the felt and joining the suicides in the 7th Circle but shook it off and regrouped.

Three hands later, I was on the DB with 44 again. There was a raise in front and then a re-raise. I folded, obv, and the original raiser called. Again I don’t remember much from the flop except yet another humungous 4 in the middle of it and a ton of gut-wrenching action.

No salvation for the patient

So now I’m headed into the break with 40k, demoralized, with the blinds going to 2000/4000/1000 ante when we return. I got a breath of air, when first hand back after the break, I picked up KK. Halleluiah…there’s a raise in front of me to 12k. I considered re-raising to 30k but figured leaving 10k behind pretty much turns my hand over pre-flop. I shoved for my 40k hoping to get action from a hand like 99 or AQ but was instead rewarded with a penitent fold. Ugh.

I added to my stack until right before dinner shoving with AJ and KQ from mid-late position but then gave it back when I raised with A7o and folded to a shove. The last hand before dinner sealed my fate.

I was UTG with AQo and about 42k. As soon as I saw my cards, I thought “Shove.” but I saw a conservative player with 100k in chips to my direct left reaching for chips. I’m not the connoisseur of live tells that Landlord79 is, but I’ve watched my cats wrestle each other enough to know that when one of them starts shaking with his hind legs in a crouch, there’s gonna be action. I opted to play it safe and raised to 14k—a raise that had been getting it done, but, in retrospect, was the worst of the available alternatives. My stalker behind labored and finally called. Hmm, that feels like AJ-AQ or a middle pair. Everyone else folded and I glued my eyes to him on the flop.

Ugh. He didn’t seem at all disappointed with the T84 flop.

In the absence of a read or holding the A or Q there, I shove the flop, but my instincts screamed “Check!” He bet, of course, and flashed a set of Ts when I folded. I congratulated myself for pulling myself out of the fiend’s mouth but it was little consolation—my swimming skills are suspect in my heated pool and now I was immersed in the burning lake and sinking fast.

I was in 13th place and thinking how apropos that finish would be when a player to my left with a 2x average stack raised and 4-bet with T8, his “favorite hand.” 3-better showed TT and T8 player was done. I never understood the favorite hands thing, especially when faced with a big re-raise. It’s sort of like wearing your favorite suit to a firing squad and expecting a happy ending. Well, no…I don’t think he was offering a massage, sir.

Back to the surface

In any event, we were playing 6-handed now and I was in horrible shape when we broke for dinner. As soon as we came back, I knew I had to find any spot to get it in. The problem was, we were short-handed and there was action on both my blinds. 62o, 84s…the usual. Finally, I was in the DB with 20k or so with KT. When the hijack raised (a big stack raising light…T9, A6 and the like), I shrugged and shoved. One caller behind (ugh) and they checked down a J9x flop. “Q!” I’m thinking but the poker gods did not see me worthy of salvation and my prayer went unanswered. JJ > KQo > KTo and I was out in 12th. Good game, sir, here's $10,535 for your 18 hours work.

Results of the CA State Poker Championships

Like Dante’s work, the end was pretty anti-climatic. One minute I was staring at the final Circle, and the next minute I was back on Earth. I cashed out the $10,535 in chips and drove home happy with my 1st day play but aware that I mangled a couple of critical spots on the 2nd day that cost me a spot at the final table. That said, I survived the Inferno and consider myself in a better position to find my way toward part 3 of the epic (Paradise, for those of you digging for the Cliff Notes). Unfortunately, in the three part classic, there’s a stop in Purgatory to deal with before Paradise can be enjoyed. Whatever, Purgatory’s where those whose vices include extravagance and sins of the flesh hang out. At least I’ll know my way around those parts.

Still digging,

Edmond

P.S. For reference...

Defying even the most aggressively managed expectations, I made it into day 2 of the California State Poker Championships with an average stack. 362 runners started the day; we're down to 40 players with the money at 27.

Play resumes tomorrow at 2p PST with blinds at 600/1200 and a 200 ante. I'm sitting with 42,800 (average is 45,000 or so). Remaining players include James Woods and Amir Vahedi; notables eliminated today include Jamie Gold, Men Nguyen, Kenna James, etc.

I've been hovering around an average stack since my early chip lead (15 minutes in a guy shoved into my flopped straight). I can't say I've been card dead--I flopped straights and sets, had AK a number of times and AA-99 repeatedly. Apparently, I've been unable to convince my opponents I'm full of crap so the vast majority of my hands have gone raise, nail flop, bet out, win modest pot. Whatever, it's better than the alternative.

I'll write something witty and poignant to convey the hurt and shame of my flame-out later tomorrow night, but for now I'm into day 2 with enough chips to see a flop.

Edmond

It's not personal.

In the Godfather: Part II, there’s a scene where Hyman Roth discusses the murder of his Las Vegas friend Moe Green with Michael Corleone.

“There was this kid I grew up with - he was younger than me. Sorta looked up to me - you know. We did our first work together - worked our way out of the street. Things were good, we made the most of it. During Prohibition - we ran molasses into Canada - made a fortune - you father, too. As much as anyone, I loved him - and trusted him. Later on he had an idea - to build a city out of a desert stop-over for GI's on the way to the West Coast. That kid's name was Moe Green - and the city he invented was Las Vegas. This was a great man - a man of vision and guts. And there isn't even a plaque - or a signpost - or a statue of him in that town! Someone put a bullet through his eye. No one knows who gave the order - when I heard it, I wasn't angry; I knew Moe - I knew he was head-strong, talking loud, saying stupid things. So when he turned up dead - I let it go. And I said to myself, this is the business we've chosen - I didn't ask who gave the order - because it had nothing to do with business!

You can see the last line here…

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Nice hand, sir!

The other day a friend of mine (newer player) called me up steaming. He had just left the Hustler Casino following a nasty beat after he had moved all in pre-flop with KK v villain’s 87o. He said, “I just looked at this guy. I mean who calls an all-in with 87o for two hundred dollars? I had only been there like 10 minutes but I was so pissed I just picked up and left.”

I said to him, “Let me get this right. You left a game with a guy on your right who was willing to call off his stack when he was, at best, a 2 to 1 dog against an unknown player? That’s stupid, sure…but you’re even more stupid for leaving. Instead of calling for your keys, you should have been calling for chips!”

I went further. “Listen. Yeah, you had a dream spot there, but the ugly truth is that 20% of the time you’re going get cracked. And when there’s a lot at stake, it’s gonna suck. You see the KK v 87o and mentally book the win at 100%, but 20 times out of 100, the chips go elsewhere. If you can’t come to grips with that, DON’T PLAY THE GAME. Seriously.”

After a little self-reflection on his part and additional love from me, “What? You want 8 guys in there leaning on you with good cards all the time? Wake up.”, I think he got it. I felt a little bit like Alec Baldwin in Glengarry Glen Ross* but he’s gonna be a better player for it. My conscience is clear.

"Running bad" you say?

A little while later, I was talking to another friend who was complaining that he’s been “running bad.” What is that? A downswing? Variance? Come on. It’s just the math at work and the math works the same for everybody. If we all played the same, our short term swings would vary but our long-term results graph would look the same. The fact that our longer term results differ means one thing—some players are good (or constantly improving) and others aren’t. You’re either playing well, marginally or badly. The math is just there sorting it all out.

When a player believes he’s “running badly”, I think he should ask “Am I playing well or poorly?” and be HONEST with himself. If he’s making good decisions, his concerns should be bankroll management, game selection and getting more hands or tournaments in. If he’s making sub par decisions or doesn’t honestly know if he’s playing well or poorly, he should take the time to study, review hands and retool his game. The only player that I see on televised events consistently talking about “running bad” is Mike Matusow. Funny, most of the decisions I see him make on TV are horrible. He “runs badly”? Gee, what a shocker.

It's just business.

In contrast, I have a friend who used to be a professional blackjack player. He and his partners would look for favorable casino conditions, play basic strategy and watch for edges. When the deck was favorable, they’d press their edge as much as possible and let the math sort it out. Of course, they had downswings but there was no talk of “running bad”. They would shrug variance off as part of the business. To manage downswings, they relied on bankroll management and simply looked for MORE opportunities to put money to work with an edge. They made a great living.

In short, Hyman Roth got it right. He didn’t bitch when a good friend got shot because he knew from an early age it was the nature of the business. Hence, he avoided the mental anguish of the emotional swings of his business. Harsh? Yeah, but the applicability is there for a successful poker player. Bad beats, downswings, variance…whatever. Learn to deal with it or find another way to make a living. It’s the business we’ve chosen.

Edmond


Postscript...

* In the movie Glengarry Glen Ross, there’s a scene in which Blake (played by Alec Baldwin) is sent in to kick a group of under-performing salesman into gear. For most of the movie, the salesmen bemoan the working conditions, the lifestyle and the quality of the leads they get from headquarters. Blake will have none of it.

It’s a great scene with classic lines and must see viewing for anyone in any kind of sales. If you haven’t quoted “Put down that coffee. Coffee is for CLOSERS only.”, you need to find a spot for it!

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On Friday last, I was inspired by Pechorin's recent run through Europe and weighed my immediate options for a live poker tourney fix. Hmmm….I could head down to Redondo Beach for the soft home tournament I deal for a friend. Alternatively, lakong wanted me to come with him to the California State Poker Championships. The CSPC is a bigger field of better players (obv), but on a Friday afternoon that West LA to Commerce run is an even worse drive than the one to Redondo Beach. My home game host also pitched that he’s restocked the Jack Daniels, pushed back the start time to let me duck the worst of Friday afternoon traffic and adjusted the blind structure like I’ve suggested. Ok, Redondo it is.

New & Improved

We start with 3000 chips (5/10 blinds, 15 minute levels), run about 4 hours and pay 3 spots. If we finish early and there’s interest, we run a second one. I serve as the principal dealer and ad hoc floor person by virtue of my ability to shuffle, calculate side pots and interpret the dead button rule, all while under the influence of alcohol. Friday, we drew about 12 guys and ran a $100 freeze-out with 50% to the winner.

As I mentioned in earlier posts, several of the players in the game lack fundamentals and make plays that are hilarious or nauseating depending on whether or not they hit their 4-outer. One player in particular has, to date, shown little or no sense of hand values or judgment in the times we’ve played. That said, he’s a nice guy and anxious to learn, so I’ve given him a couple of basic books to get a better handle on the game.

Last night the improvements in his play were noticeable. He’s playing fewer hands, betting his good hands (he used to slow play any decent hand) and showing down quality. Unfortunately, another player in our group (the host) didn’t really pick up on it.

Midway through the tournament with the blinds at 150/300, UTG raised to 1000 and it folded around to the DB (our host), who called. Small blind folded and New & Improved player announced a re-raise to 3000. UTG min-raiser promptly re-raised all-in and DB… called. WTF? They show down…

QQ (UTG) v 66 (host) v JJ (New & Improved)

The queens held and our host was out. New & Improved player had both players covered courtesy of an earlier boat, so he survived the beat and continued.

On the break, the host came up to me, “My call with the sixes was a bad call, right?” Not one to sugarcoat, I told him that no, it was moronic. “Well you know New & Improved. He could have anything. I figured he’d have something stupid like 97 or KJ.” Are you brain dead? He’s playing different tonight—tighter, more card and board aware—and he’s shown great hands all night. And what about the UTG player?

Follow your head...or don't

In any event, he was out and I was still in. I continued to deal and play ABC poker and, as expected, the field thinned to 6 or so after a couple of hours. The key point in the tournament came with the blinds at 150/300 when it was limped to me in the big blind with K5o. Flop is a nifty KT5 and I led out with a half-pot bet, about 20% of my stack. One caller to the dealer button, who shoved. I called, of course, and the other player shrugged and said “I guess I have to call.”

We show K5 v KJ v AQ and I’m dodging fishhooks for the win.

Hold…I burn and turn a Q…hold…I burn and river a blank. K5 goot!

Down to four players, I was a slight chip leader but everyone was pretty evenly stacked. I dealt out a new hand and as players were checking their hole cards, another player started chop talk.

I was on the DB with AQo and curious to see how this developed but I stuck to my usual “I’m good either way. Whatever you guys want.” The small blind, heretofore open to chop talk, was suddenly uninterested in a deal. “Let’s play for a bit.” Uh, noted. We played on but I was concerned about the small blind now.

The blinds were 300/600 and with a fold to me, I raised my AQo to 2400. SM insta-called and the big blind folded. Careful, Edmond.

Flop came AJT rainbow. SB checked to me. What hands would make him duck a chop…probably TT+, ATo+. The only hands I really wanted him to have here are KK, QQ or AQ…and I had a Q so that made AQ and QQ less likely. Whatever, I shoved anyway. It’s a home game, right? He beat me to the pot and I expected the worst when he turned over…A9. Ok, so much for my ability to read a player. Thank god I didn’t have the good judgment to follow it.

My AQ held and now I was the monster stack. The other players were beside themselves and howled at A9 player for loading me up. Feeling generous, I offered the following chop “If you want, I’ll take the winner’s share and you guys can split the rest.” They took it immediately, I pocketed the six hundie and we were on to tournament #2.

As we’re setting up, New & Improved took me aside and said, “I was surprised you would let us chop with a big stack like that.” I confided in him, “Uh, you know I can’t win MORE than the winner’s share, right?” He’s obviously not at that chapter yet.

Rinse & repeat

Ten of the original twelve stuck around for the second tournament, this one for a $60 buy-in. Again, I ground my way down to the final three not getting out of line with anything. I’d normally be more aggressive late (these guys LOVE to fold near the money), but I could tell the player to my left wanted to go home. Last thing I wanted was him calling my T5o button shove light. Sure enough, a few hands later, he raised with J9 and called a shove for 30 BBs. J9 < AKo and we were down to two. The other player and I then chopped for 1st and 2nd place money with a little premium for the dealer.

At this point, it was about 1a. I was net $700 on the evening not counting drinks and goodwill generated. Meanwhile, lakong sent me a voicemail that he’d chopped a satellite but pretty much fizzled in the CAPC event. Meh, sometimes it’s better to take the sure thing.

Opera in a poker blog? WTF?

You may know that last week the music world lost a giant when tenor Luciano Pavarotti succumbed to pancreatic cancer. Unlike many classical music or opera stars, Pavarotti was open to other genres and made his music more accessible via charity concerts and collaborative duets with such artists as Bono, Meatloaf, Queen, James Brown, Barry White, et al.

He was launched into popular culture well past his prime after a performance of Nessun Dorma for the opening ceremony of the 1990 World Cup in Italy. It’s an aria from the final act of Puccini’s opera Turandot and became his signature piece. You can see him singing it at the closing ceremony of the 2006 Winter Olympics at Torino, Italy below. Not bad for “past his prime”, right?



He spent the latter part of his career pretty much phoning it in to opera houses (one critic put it succinctly…”he reminded me of a friendly stagehand who'd wandered onstage in the middle of an opera and decided to make the best of it.”) and printing multi-platinum CDs with Placido Domingo and Jose Carreras, aka The Three Tenors.

No opera critic ever gave him the high marks for his Three Tenors gigs that he’d have pulled for one of his 70s era performances of La Boheme, but audiences loved the crossover work, and on his worst day, he could easily hold his own with likes of Bono and Meatloaf. Furthermore, selling out a stadium paid better than selling out the Metropolitan Opera House. Play with worse players and get paid more? Pavarotti understood the value of good game selection. RIP, sir…you were a MONSTER.

Nice Potts

Fast forward to the summer of 2007 when Paul Potts, a contestant on Britain’s Got Talent (an American Idol type show in the UK), sings Nessun Dorma in his audition as seen below. It’s perhaps better titled “Cell phone salesman in bad suit sings Puccini and stuns Simon Cowell and 2,000 members of the audience to tears...”



Potts ultimately won the entire competition, beating the odds maker favorite, a talented 6-year-old girl singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow. He released an album and the single of that aria reached #2 on the UK charts, the highest position ever for a classical recording.

Believe it or not, there’s a lesson in these two performances for poker players. First, however talented you are, there’s value in good game selection. Exposing others to your talents may turn you on to a bigger market that can have a dramatic impact on your bankroll. Less competition for better money? Put your ego away and your wallet will prosper. Second, as the host of my home game learned, you need to remember that the guy that looks like a donk may, in fact, have real talent. Be careful how you judge him on first glance; he may just leave you stunned and sobbing.

Still digging,

Edmond

Ok, time for an off-topic trip report to provide a little balance to my recent posts. Sunday night, my wife and I joined another couple in their box at the Hollywood Bowl for Movie Night in which the Hollywood Bowl orchestra plays music from movies to clips from the movies themselves. It’s an annual performance held at the end of the summer season, and this year the Bowl chose Paramount Pictures as the studio from which they’d select movies.

The evening was hosted by Leonard Nimoy (aka Mr. Spock, now 77 years old and still energetic) and featured Paramount classics like..

The Godfather
Star Trek
Raiders of the Lost Ark
Mission Impossible
Love Story
Breakfast at Tiffany’s
Grease
Titanic

At one point, my friend’s wife confided that she had never seen the Godfather (either I or II)—uh, wow, since my friend is Sicilian by heritage and quotes it daily. A few clips later my wife confessed that she’s never seen any of the Raiders of the Lost Ark movies. WTF? You're not familiar with Indiana Jones? How did this get past the due diligence team? A few clips later, a clip from Grease came on and the orchestra broke into Summer Nights. Both our wives immediately reacted and said they’d seen the movie “maybe twenty times”. Ok, this is ridiculous.

I’m pretty sure I don’t know a guy who’s NOT seen all the Godfather films and Raiders at least once. On the other hand, I wouldn’t be shocked if a friend of mine said he’d passed on the opportunity to see John Travolta singing and dancing as a 1950s high-schooler. I don’t profess to understand my wife or women generally, but in the future, if someone asks me to explain the differences, I think this is an excellent reference point. “It’s like this. Guys like the Godfather. Women like Grease. Just do the best you can with that.”

One thing we all did agree on is that Audrey Hepburn was awesome in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. The movie came out in 1961, so it predates even me, and I saw it for the first time just a few years ago. If you haven’t ever seen an Audrey Hepburn movie, you owe it to yourself and your wife or girlfriend to fire up the DVD. I guarantee you’ll enjoy it—Hepburn as an escort/socialite, George Peppard as a struggling writer (pre-A Team), Buddy Ebsen (after he was the Tin Man but before he was Jed Clampett) and Mickey Rooney as a Japanese neighbor. Sounds wacky, but it’s charming stuff.

If you’re ever in Los Angeles for Labor Day weekend, make an effort to get up to the Bowl for Movie Night. The Bowl is an outdoor amphitheatre and there’s not a bad seat in the place. Score some tickets, bring some food and a bottle of good wine and watch some great clips to superb scores in a very cool setting. I recommend it!

Last Thurs night around 9p, I headed down to the Commerce Casino to update my LA card room comparison chart and check out the low stakes NL games there. Some of you might not be familiar with the World’s Largest Poker Casino (ok, world’s largest LIVE poker casino) so here’s a quick tour.

The Commerce Casino/Crowne Plaza hotel complex is located directly off the 5 Freeway about 7-8 miles southeast of downtown Los Angeles. The 5 Freeway is a major LA thoroughfare and traffic can be brutal midday, but at 9 pm, it’s a breeze. You can’t miss the casino from the highway—both the casino and the attached hotel are well-lit with excellent signage.



In the satellite image below, you can see the Commerce’s proximity to the freeway and massive parking lot. The hotel part of the complex is the curved building on the left of the property; the main casino comprises the rectangular portion. If you look carefully in the upper right of the parking lot, you can see a N/S tennis court that was built well before the hotel was built. Senior management at the Commerce took their tennis seriously in their younger years!




"Past the chariot..."

As you can see, there’s plenty of free parking on the property, but since I’m lazy I opted to valet (about $2 not including tip). As you enter from the valet, you’re confronted with two oversized statues. I never really understood the Roman/Egyptian theme, but they look great and definitely give the sense of Las Vegas grandeur.




The high stakes room

Directly behind the statues is the high stakes room where all the big games ($10/20+ NL, $20/40 limit, etc.) run. There’s a large multi-screen monitor in a corner of the room, but for now, all the waitlists are managed by hand. I think Commerce is probably moving toward an automated system at some point. The low stakes NL waiting list is automated and there are a number of new flat screen monitors located strategically throughout the other areas of the casino. But for now, it’s white boards and markers in the high stakes and main room.




The main room

Continuing the tour, from the high stakes room, you go through a California games room (blackjack variants, pai gow, etc.) to the main room of the casino where all the middle stakes games are spread. It’s a huge open room with several food court type restaurants around the perimeter. Like the high stakes room, waitlists are kept by hand but there’s a sign up board at all four sides of the room (yes, it’s that big) and there’s floor staff manning the boards and directing players to seats. As a result, there’s rarely a problem finding or getting into the game you’re looking for.






I did a quick walk around to see what kind of action was running. Check this out for a Thursday night…

7 tables of 1/2 $40
7 tables of 2/3 $100
9 tables of 3/5 $200
8 tables of 5/10 $400
6 tables of $10/20 $600-no max
3 tables of $20/40 $2000-no max
1 table of $100/200 $30k-no max (note: Commerce usually has $50/$100 NL with a $5k minimum)

That’s over 40 tables of NL! By comparison, the Bellagio has 40 tables IN TOTAL. Of course, the Commerce spreads all sorts of other games—limit, stud, a MONSTER mixed game ($300/$600 usually and sometimes $400/$800) and a few Omaha games. There are over 240 tables in the casino and I’m guessing about 160 or so are dedicated to poker. They also run daily tournaments and recently began running $40 sit n gos using Lightning Poker electronic tables. More on those later.


”Excuse me, which way to the mini-ballers?”

Checking my bankroll, I realized I was a little light for the $100/$200 NL and made a mental note to put 60-100 dimes in my backpack for my next trip. I’m rolled for $5/10 but, in a rare show of discipline, resisted the urge to grab four stacks of $5 chips and find a seat. Instead, I stuck to the task at hand, namely checking out the low stakes NL action.

Commerce spreads its low stakes NL in its tournament room, located on the 2nd floor in the tournament & banquet area. The room is directly above the high stakes area and is accessible by a wide staircase, which spirals above the aforementioned statues. I’m pretty sure this staircase is the steepest staircase on Earth not associated with a Mayan ruin or pharaoh’s tomb. There’s probably room here to continue the metaphor with some reference to bloody sacrifice, but I’m not a virgin and don’t even know one, so let’s leave it that it’s a climb to get to the room.

I think the 2nd floor location cuts down on the number of low stakes NL and limit tables Commerce spreads. Both Hawaiian Gardens and Ocean’s 11 had more small NL games running, but they were right off the main floor in both casinos and tough to miss. Then again, those guys didn’t have nearly as many of the larger games that Commerce has. Whatever...this place is huge and there's plenty of action for anyone.

The room itself is what you’d expect of a hotel ballroom, high ceilings and chandeliers, with the inclusion of 30 or so tables and a snack bar. To the far right of the room is the cashier and brush area, and there are two Lightning electronic poker tables against the far wall. In the low stakes NL room (seen below courtesy of my lousy cell phone camera), waitlists are kept via an electronic system. There are several other monitors not in use; presumably, these are used for tournaments. The staff does a nice job keeping the lists moving, although I did have to wait about 20 minutes (4th on the list) to get seated in $40 NL.




”I had pot odds!

As with other rooms in the area, small stakes NL at the Commerce tends to be more social than competitive. That’s not to say the players don’t take it seriously—they do. It’s just that the tension, personality clashes and other drama you sometimes experience at higher limits is pretty much non-existent at these levels. Players tend to shrug off bad beats and etiquette faux pas and move on without lingering resentment.

Despite the good intentions of some players, the play tends to range from awkward to poor. Most players have an understanding of what beats what but the insight typically stops there. Of course, players make vocal references to position, draws and odds but more often than not that thinking, as expressed, is WAY off base. That’s not to say that the players aren’t experienced—it’s obvious that many play A LOT. But the references to odds and, specifically pot odds, are often well off the mark and the resulting decisions and stacks reflect it. In short, for a player with solid fundamentals, there’s plenty of equity sloshing around in these games.

It’s interesting how quickly you can assess the table just by listening and watching. Players at this level have no qualms about thinking out loud and recapping their thought process or what they folded after the hand is completed. Of course, in a game of limited information, it’s always best to keep your thinking to yourself for at least two reasons. First, you should avoid giving anyone any edge on how you might play, and second, as Lincoln once said “Better to keep you mouth shut and be thought a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt.” In any event, just by watching a few hands and listening to the color commentary, you can get a quick sense of who’s got an idea of what they’re doing.

"Pot odds" is the default rationale for any action in these games whether it’s calling pre-flop or on the flop. Surprisingly, everyone seems to nod in agreement when it happens. I’m not a tank tapper, but I’ll be honest, I’ll throw an “O rly?’ glance around when someone attempts to validate a bonehead play with “I had pot odds!” I honestly think that the typical low stakes NL player really has no idea what his/her odds are in various situations.


My table

My table was pretty standard for So Cal baby NL—mostly younger guys (mid-20s), one or two guys in their 30s and a couple of Asian women…and me, a grey-haired exec—clean shaven, no tats, no surfer brand t-shirt—standing out like Angelina Jolie at a refugee camp.

To my immediate left was a former dealer turned tattoo technician, a skill he proudly noted he learned in prison using a tattoo gun made from a Walkman, guitar string and pencil. He was a nice enough guy, but you have to wonder about someone who discusses his prison stint with a total stranger within 15 minutes or so of introduction. In the off chance I ever end up in prison and get out, I can pretty much guarantee that I’m going out of my way to keep the topic OUT of random conversations. My tablemates will just have to speculate on how I learned to make moonshine and tie a nifty corn row, thank you very much.

In any event, I’m in seat 1, he’s on my left and very active, calling pretty much any raise and limping into any pot. To his left, is a disinterested Asian kid wearing headphones and reading a magazine. To his left is a guy who looked like Ferris Bueller after a few more days off. Seat 5 was an older Asian man. To his left, an older Asian woman, no relation. Seat 7 was younger guy with tats and sideways baseball hat who stood up every time and was visibly excited each time he made a monster hand.

Landlord79 wrote some thoughts on his favorite live tells here...Landlord79's forum post. Here’s mine. When your opponent stands up, insta-calls flop and turn bets each time (as in the instant his opponent said “I bet…” he shouts “Call!” whether it’s his turn to act or not), shoves the river and then shows down monsters each time—two flopped sets and a flopped straight…that’s a good tell to note.

Like all of Commerce's tables, the tables in the low stakes room all have auto-shufflers which keeps play moving. On the other hand, the game is social so there’s more chit-chat, commentary, cell phone play, etc. than in the higher stakes games. To their credit, the dealers and chip runners keep the games moving; I counted 29 hands in the first hour and 31 in the second and, over the two hour period, only saw two hands surrendered without a flop. That’s pretty much standard for what I’ve seen elsewhere in similar games (Hollywood Park: 33 hands/hr; Ocean’s 34; HG 32; etc.). I also noticed that almost all the hands make it to the river. Unlike that larger games where a stiff turn bet will often end the hand, hands here go the whole way. Figure 2-3 hands an hour to NOT make it to the river.


Finally, some hands

I only stayed for a couple of hours but here are some hands that are indicative of the quality of play. I tend to play a TAG style which is markedly different than the prevailing table style—I’d routinely be one of the only players not in the hand. These guys, though, don’t drive all the way from Pomona to FOLD, so you see some real gems.


Hand 1

Older Asian woman in EP raises to $15 pre-flop. Note: the blinds in this game are $1/$2. Tattoo guy next to me, the small blind, states “You’re not going to steal my button.” and calls. She’s at least five seats from him and stealing here never, but he’s defending.

Flop…225 rainbow. Check. Check.
8 on turn. Asian woman checks but pulls a stack of chips from her rack. Tat Guy bets $15 and Asian woman calls instantly.
T on the river. Check. Check.
TG's T8o > Asian woman’s AQs.

Ok, let’s recap…7.5x raise pre-flop. No continuation bet by Asian woman but she’s insta-calling a half pot bet on the turn with A high. And then TG checks his two pair when checked to. Nifty stuff.


Hand 2

Multi-way limped pot. 99x4 flop.

Checked around.
J on the turn. Tat Guy (again the small blind) min bets. Formerly disinterested Asian kid in headphones (the big blind) is suddenly interested and calls. Everybody else folds.

J on river. Min bet. Call.
97o = 92o. Split pot.


Hand 3, in which Edmond dips into the Luckbox

Limped to me on the button with AJ. I raise to $8 and everyone folds around to Asian woman, who calls. The pot ≈ $20.

Flop is Qxx with one heart. AW checks to me and I bet $15 with my A high backdoor straight and backdoor flush draw. She labors, commenting “You so tight! I know you have big pair!” Well, yes, ma’am…thank you…please fold, though. No such luck. She calls.

6 on the turn. She checks to me again. I figure she didn’t like her hand much on the flop so I move in for my last $20 with 9 good outs, maybe more. No laboring now, she insta-calls. WTF, you turn a set, lady?

I’m resigned to calling for the chip runner when the lovely 2 spins off giving me the nut flush. Asian woman triumphantly tables QTo and says “I have queen! If you have three queens you win!” I have no idea what she’s talking about, but show my flush and stack my chips.

At this point, the conversation somehow segues to Tat Guy commenting that 69o is his favorite hand, and when the other woman at the table gives him a disgusted look like he’s a prepubescent teen, he insists that his birthday was June 9th. She’s skeptical and because I’m one to stir things up a bit, I suggest he could confirm it with his driver’s license. "Uh, I don't have one." No, of course you don’t.


Hand 4

As I mentioned in my Ocean’s 11 and Hawaiian Gardens reviews of low stakes games, when players get short, the games play similar to the early stage of a re-buy tournament. For example, a few hands later, AW raised in early position to $10 or so. Short stack in the blind shoves for $20 and change. Folded back to AW, she calls without hesitation. Shover shows A4o; AW shows QJo. A high, all goot.


Hand 5

A few hands later Tat Guy pushes a T high flop for $200 (into a $30 pot) with two players still to act. One caller but Tat Boy’s QT held.


Hand 6, the hand of the night

Ferris limps UTG. Asian man to his left raises to $10. One caller to Tat Guy in the small blind, who again announces “You’re not stealing my blind.” and re-raises to $20. Ferris now re-raises $40, leaving $10 behind. Asian man concludes “I have pot odds.” and calls. Folded back to Tat Guy who now shoves putting Ferris in for his last tenner. Ferris instantly calls, of course, and turns over AA.

There is perhaps no more transparent play in poker than the EP limp and subsequent re-raise. That is, at all levels, almost always AA, KK or AK…with AA, by far, the most prevalent. Yet by for some reason, both Asian guy and Tat Boy concluded that they needed to play in the face of that action.

AA > Tat Guy’s 99 > Asian Guy’s K9s for $250 or so.

AG mucked his K9s and had no obligation to show, but without prompting by any player, the dealer retrieved the cards and opened them for the table, a pretty gross mistake. The Asian guy complained a little but no one else at the table seemed at all fazed by it. In a higher stakes game, guys would’ve been calling for the floor and howling like someone killed their dog.

At this point, Asian Guy stated that “I can’t win at these levels.” and vacated his seat. He’s played about 5-6 hands in similar fashion and reloaded twice. What’s amazing is that no one said anything about his K9s play and when a new player went to take the seat, two players warned him (seriously) that that was the “bad beat” seat.


Hand 7, in which Edmond again dips into the Luckbox

Limped to me, I have T9 on DB and call.

KJ7 flop. $4 bet by some EP player. One other caller to me; I call with my double gutter.

8x on turn. EP better checks and other player bets $4 again. $20 pot at this point with all indications suggesting that my opponents are chasing flushes. I raise another $20 and get one caller.

2 on river and min-better pushes for his last $12. Gross. I’m convinced he hit his flush given his play to the river but call the $12 in what had turned into a $60 pot.

Instead, he shows AJ and looks startled that he didn't scoop the pot. 2PTK no good on that board, sir.

Despite the play, it’s common to see guys sitting relatively deep in a short period of time. I had $100 or so. Tat Guy, despite every effort to stack off with marginal hands, had $160 to my left. Ferris had $240 or so and at least two others were sitting 2x buy-ins.


Hand 8

There is a pre-flop raise to $10 or so with two callers.

786 rainbow flop and three players, including a new older guy sitting in the “bad beat” seat, get all-in for a $300 pot. Q turn, J river. Let’s see the hands, fellas.

TT > 55 > K9 with the old guy showing the K9.

As he packs up to leave, a couple of people at the table again comment on the “bad beat” seat and how “old guys always get it in with draws.” Ouch.


Lightning Poker tables

Toward the end of my session, the floor initiated a new sit-n-go on one of the two Lightning Poker tables Commerce recently installed. These are 10-seat electronic tables which can be use for cash games or single table tournaments. At present, Commerce runs $40 sit n gos ($34 for the prize poll and $6 for the house) and starts the tournament whenever 10 people sign up. Note: on the board, it’s referenced as a $40 mixed game. You can see one in action below.




Players seemed to like the tables, commenting that the play was “fast” and “sit n gos are fun”. Players start with 500 chips and 10/20 initial blinds and level times increase every 10 minutes. Top spots pay in the tournament 60%/40% and the tournaments run about 40-45 minutes. Basically, you’re playing to heads up, chopping for 80% and playing for the balance.

I didn’t play it, but I’m guessing that a player with a good understanding of sit n go fundamentals could beat the game fairly regularly. Imagine Party $5 + $1 sit n gos paying to two spots with worse players.

You can read the Commerce’s press release or some more info on the tables here.

Commerce press release on Lightning Poker tables


Beating the game

Despite the rake ($3 + 50c jackpot fee), I believe the low stakes NL is a beatable game for a fundamentally sound player. Any time guys are putting capital at risk without thinking and, when they do think, do so OUT LOUD despite a known premium on information, it’s a beatable game. I finished the night up $40 ($20/hour or 20BB over 65 hands or so) without ever being really challenged.

The real challenge, of course, is to maintain discipline and play the opposite style of the table. In general, these games range from very loose passive to moderately loose aggressive without any moderation for hand value. I believe a player that adopts a tight, aggressive style—raising premium hands in position and betting those hands HARD can be a winner in the game.

Of course, it’s very seductive when 6-7 people limp or limp/min-raise/call to get sucked into limping with your 97o. The problem is, of course, that you rarely hit the flop hard enough to have real confidence from the flop and you can end up chasing draws and burning up chips.


Back again for more

On Saturday night, I headed back down to the casino with a friend to get a quick look at the $2/3 100 max buy-in game. This game is spread in the main room and, on Sat night, there were about 10 tables running. I was seated within 15 minutes.

Hands per hour tend to be a little higher in this game as players have a better handle on the game and fewer hands make it to the river. Figure about 35+ hands/hour with maybe 3-4 not seeing a flop and 5 or so not making it to the river.

The players at my table for this bigger game were somewhat more knowledgeable with 1-2 solid players, 3-4 ok players and the balance sort of mediocre. I was the swing man of the group, alternating between solid and mediocre throughout the session.

I finished the two hour session even despite stacking off early with AK on an A high flop versus a turned set of jacks by a short stack and then 4-betting AK into a pair of kings (oops!). I recovered nicely in the second hour getting paid on the last two hands before our table broke with AA v 66 on a low flop and then a set of 6s v TP2K.

There was definitely better play at this table—no ridiculous overbets (other than my 4-bet referenced above), players betting their good hands, more thoughtful reads of the flop. But there was still flashes of dead money including the following:

3-bet all-in and call for $60+ on AQx flop. Players showed 77 and KQo. What?

4-bet all-in and call by the nut flush for $60+ into a $150 pot on a 22588 board. Winner showed an 8, obv.

River re-raise all-in with K9s on AT936 board with three clubs. Winner called $100 with A3o without the slightest hesitation.


”Ok, who ordered the banana splits?”

Tom Wolfe, the author, once described a dinner with Hunter S. Thompson in which the gonzo journalist pulled a marine air horn from a bag and set it off stunning a crowded restaurant. Wolfe recounted another dinner where Thompson ordered two banana splits and two banana daiquiris for his entree. After polishing them off, Thompson called for the waitress and looped his finger in the air. “Do it again.” He downed another round to the disbelief of Wolfe’s wife-to-be and ended the evening, as he did many others, ejected from the premises in a drunken stupor.

When you were at dinner with the doctor, it was an event and, there was really no explanation other than “Well, what do you expect? It's Hunter.” So it is with low stakes NL in Southern California. You’ll repeatedly see behavior and plays that are at best, unusual and, at worst, worthy of open criticism and calls for the floor at higher stakes. But in low stakes NL, even the most egregious poker or social gaffe merits at best a resigned shrug and call for more chips. If you can handle the odd and often deviant behavior, there’s always entertainment and value!


Afterword

1) For those of you who are curious, apparently all you need to rig a homemade tattoo gun is a pencil, a guitar string and old Walkman. I was skeptical of Tat Guy's claim, but a quick search of YouTube shows that he wasn’t kidding. The assembler uses an electric toothbrush in the following video but you get the idea.

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2) Tom Wolfe’s excellent piece on Hunter S. Thompson can be found here.