I'm happy to report that we held our WSOP satellite tournament at Club One today, and it drew enough entrants where we didn't have to cough up too much extra dough to satisfy the seat guarantee that I agreed to months ago in a bourbon-fueled burst of confidence.

I was bracing myself for the worst since I've been running bad lately. For an owner, "running bad" is defined as paying out back-to-back bad beat jackpots and dealing with an HVAC system that, like many folks in the region, doesn't want to work when it's hot out. Fortunately, through a last minute blitz of fliers, posters and begging, we pulled just enough entrants to cover the guarantee.

Unlike many other WSOP satellites, we gave players pretty good stacks to play with (10,000 chips with 25/25 start blinds) and 30-minute levels. LakeofFire capitalized on our largesse by burning up 9 hours of the one day off I give him, finishing 12th out of 99 entrants. Unfortunately, we're only giving away 3 seats. Back to work, Lake.

As for lakong, he managed to bounce out within moments of the start when he got it all-in on the turn with the nut straight, and his opponent, armed with two pair, boated at the river. He (kong, that is) didn't seem pleased by this. I recovered bits of a broken Blackberry at the edge of the tournament section and I haven't heard from him since around 2p.

As for me, I figured I could savage the field of misguided pretenders with my usual surgical play and superb hand-reading skills, but it dawned on me that cutting through players like Leonidas at Thermopylae, while good for my ego, might conflict with the "customer-focused" strategy I'm trying to implement. Ergo: I skipped the tournament.

As for my ego, I intend to toss myself into the sea of Asian hotties currently participating in our 2nd karaoke night. Pics to follow, obv.

Edmond

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