Now that the Aussie Millions are over it’s time to look forward to what’s upcoming in my life over the year 2009, and it’s shaping up to be interesting.

My plan over the next two months is to play a very high amount of online poker. I’ll be going to Adelaide for the first event of the ANZPT from February 4-8 and after that my entire focus is on getting up early, putting in volume, and then writing and working out at night. I’ve only got about two months to finish the book, so I’m going to need to develop a Dostoyevsky like writing style. In total, I’ve had confirmations from about a dozen guys interested in being coauthors, and I’ll need to figure out what I’d like to direct them to write about and how to incorporate it into the material.

I’m thinking my schedule through February and March will look something like waking up about 9am, getting a quick run in, then grinding for about 8-9 hours, then going to the gym and finally retiring for the evening to work on the book for a few hours. I imagine my social life will take a hit, but that’s alright since I’ll be very social for the five months following that and I’m a little tired of going out after the Aussie Millions and everything.

After that, inexplicably, it appears I’ll be traveling a full circumference of the world in a short period of time again. I know when I finished last year I wrote that I didn’t want to go around the world again any time soon, but things have fallen into a sort of place where it seems to line up too well not to, plus I’ve got the opportunity to do some really interesting stuff. The planned itinerary for the moment looks like:

Early April: Leave Melbourne for Hawaii. I’ll be stopping off for a few days to visit Cade and Kari as well as cut down the flight time to the US, not to mention making an ass of myself in our favorite 24 hour Korean place. It’s possible previous to this portion that I’ll be stopping off in Thailand, but that’s currently uncertain and right now the plan is Hawaii.

Mid April: Arrive in Las Vegas to play in the WPT championship. I likely won’t arrive in time to play the full list of preliminaries though I will be there for some. I’ve already got my seat as a result of the WPT preliminary event I won at the Bellagio Cup IV this summer, which I’m unable to sell or transfer, hence the necessity of this Vegas trip. Were it up to me I’d just take the 25k cash for the seat, but unfortunately I’m locked in. The only other alternative was to defer another year, but considering the quality of the management decisions at the WPT God knows if they’ll even be around in another year.

Late April: Leave Las Vegas to go to Wisconsin and properly visit home for the first time in years. There are friends and family I haven’t seen in Wisconsin for between two and six years, and this will likely be my last time to catch up with them properly for another few. I’ve got cousins who are teens now that I remember as tiny children, and friends that I haven’t caught up with since high school who I’d still love to see. Hopefully most of them will be receptive and as cool as I remember, though I imagine a lot has changed. As far as most people in Wisconsin know one day four years ago I said I was going to Australia and would be back in six months then was never seen again.

Late May: Leave Wisconsin for Las Vegas to play in the WSOP and Bellagio Cup V. It appears I’ll be getting a house with my “fellow” Australians, and possibly Sirwatts as well. I had a great time with all the guys I roomed with last year, but this is just sort of the way things have wound up this time. I imagine I’ll be doing a shit ton of volume again this year, and hopefully that can lead to similar or better results than last year. I have a feeling I won’t be able to swap as well though.

Mid July: At the end of the WSOP I’ll be leaving Vegas to go visit for New York City for a few days. I’ve never been there and have several friends in the city, and it seems like a cool place to stop off in order to reduce the travel time to my next destination.

Mid July: Leave New York for Kenya. I’ve decided to volunteer in an orphanage there for roughly five weeks. I’ve always rejected the idea that “poker players contribute nothing/are a drain to society” but I still can’t escape the idea that I really haven’t done much with my life other than play cards. I’ve lived on three continents so far and this seems like a great way to have an interesting experience living on a fourth, plus do something that would feel a bit more rewarding than doing math problems on my computer home alone.

Late August: Leave Kenya and stop over in Dubai for a few days. I know a couple people there and it seems like an interesting place to stop off, especially since it will cut down the flight time to my next destination. From the pictures I’ve seen and stories I’ve heard about Dubai it’s one of those places everyone should see once before they die. They’re building a skyscraper that will be nearly double the height of the world’s next tallest building. That’s fucking absurd.

Late August or early September: Leave Dubai for Macau for the Pokerstars APPT Macau. They haven’t announced dates for this yet but it was around this time last year and I’m told is likely to be around the same date. If for some reason it’s not I’ll pick some other tournament in Asia around the same time to go to and simply hang around Kenya and Dubai for a few extra weeks if it’s more down the line than I thought.

Early September: This seems like the most likely return time to Melbourne. I won’t know for certain for some time when the exact date will be, but around this time looks probable. I imagine I’ll want to take it easy for a while after that.

So there it is, five months of non stop travel, about 150 days in total with a full circumference of the world. And of course, I’ll be writing the whole thing. I won’t be approaching any companies attempting to sell it this time because creative control is important to me and I know for certain the blog will contain things most poker sites don’t want to endorse, such as degeneracy (not by me), sex, drug use, stereotype jokes, and the occasional rant about why such and such name player is a huge douchebag.

If some site out there wants to talk to me about buying it I’m open minded, but don’t waste your time if you want even the slightest creative control. The only things I’d be willing to have edited are grammar and spelling and any cutting of the content will not be tolerated. I don’t care how much money I’m offered when it comes to that issue, I will not edit it. I write because I enjoy it, not to take a paycheck.

Edit: Just remembered I really need to stop by Fresno too. I'll work that in either before or after the WSOP. See all my friends at Kyle's casino soon.

I woke up on Saturday after three hours of strange sleep. I didn’t feel hung over per say, but I wasn’t feeling great either. Despite being so drunk I could remember very little of the previous night at ‘Eve’ I at least had the good sense to drink a considerable amount of water at the end of the night. I hung out on the computer for a bit then Chris came over to the apartment to meet up for the drunken kickball classic. We went down to the apartment Watts and Timex are staying in, and were regaled with stories from the previous night that only Timex can remember.

We got to Albert Park half an hour late with a new soccer ball and two slabs of beer in tow. All in all we got 16 participants, all running around in the middle of the park in the searing heat chugging booze constantly, the only rule having been that a beer in hand or within close proximity was mandatory at all times. I was a captain opposing Watts. The game resulted in 21 to 16 loss, several fall downs, one dislocated finger, and a shit ton of laughs.

After the game someone came up with a challenge that I, Atimos, and Timex all accepted. We were told to sprint to a tree about 50 meters away, run around it, then come back and chug a beer. When “GO!” was yelled Timex and I sprinted in front of Atimos who by the time we were racing back towards the start was considerably behind. Timex and I cracked open our beers and attempted to start chugging. Timex got considerably through his then fell to the ground spitting up the beer in a manner that looked like a mix of vomiting and laughing. I attempted to drink the beer but didn’t get as deep because I was still breathing heavily and the thing tasted beyond awful. Atimos got back to the line and paused for a moment to catch his breath before cracking open his beer and downing it, crushing us both in a massive come from behind win.

After the game we all stumbled over to the St. Kilda beer garden and continued the drinking. My three hours of sleep started to catch up with me and I lost the party drive. I decided to head back to the apartment where many of us met up and smoked a joint that Zach and Ethan were cool enough to provide, seeing as most of Melbourne had gone dry. Most of the group headed off in their separate directions, with Watts, Timex, and Atimos staying around to go out and meet some girls I knew at a club. We’d met them at the Teppenyaki restaurant in Crown when I remarked to the chef that “You got stuck with the wrong room dude, the other’s full of girls.” He asked if we wanted to meet them, and seeing as it was a group that consisted of 14 men and zero women we most certainly did. He went to the next room, asked the girls if they wanted to meet some men, and then waved me over. Lloyd and I went into the room, and five minutes later had convinced them to meet us for drinks later in the night. That lead them to inviting us out to ‘Motel’ on Saturday for one of the girls birthdays.

Unfortunately by the time we set out Atimos was off his face drunk, which was going to cause more mayhem than I knew at the time. I’d called the clubs owner earlier and asked if it’d be cool if I brought some friends down to his place tonight. He said it would be so long as I didn’t bring too many guys and waited to call him until 12:30.

When we got into the taxi the driver immediately began talking crazy shit. He pointed at some girls on the sidewalk and said something like “Hey, take a look at those pussies” in some strange accent I couldn’t place. Atimos in all his drunken enthusiasm went nuts for it and started encouraging the cab driver to keep talking, which he was happy to accommodate. He asked us what we were up to tonight, and when we told him we were going to the club ‘Motel’ he told us “All you need to do to get the sluts in that place is walk up to them and say ‘Hey sluts, I have a big dick!’” Atimos thought this to be the greatest idea ever and started yelling “HEY SLUTS!” out the window at people when we drove past or were at intersections. At some point the taxi driver goes on a rant about Laura Bush, which prompts Atimos and Timex to ask simultaneously, “Is she a slut?!” By the end of the cab ride Atimos was so completely out of control yelling “HEY SLUTS! I HAVE A BIG DICK!” that even the cab driver seemed weirded out, and he was a fucking weirdo to begin with.

By the time we go to the club the night was careening out of control. As I approached the bouncer to discuss our gaining entry Atimos began approaching random woman and yelling “Hey sluts! I have a big dick!” They were not pleased with this approach. Meanwhile the bouncer told me that he wouldn’t be letting any more guys in. I dropped the owners name and asked if I was on the list, which I was not. I attempted to call the owner but he didn’t pick up. About that time three of the girls we were meeting came outside and I explained the situation to them. Immediately afterwards Atimos began intensely questioning them
“Hey what if a guy came up to you in a club and said ‘HEY SLUTS! I HAVE A BIG DICK!’?”
“That wouldn’t work” they replied coldly.
“Atimos had a lot during the kickball game today girls, he’s had a big one is all” I elaborated. They did not seem calmed by my explanation. Atimos was still quizzing them about being sluts and his big dick.

Eventually the girls took us back to the door but the bouncer still refused us entry. I felt incredibly stupid at that moment, particularly since I’d told them that I know the owner. I told them not to worry about it and the four of us guys walked off and found a cab to take us to ‘Stalactites’ in the city. We parted ways and I went over to ‘Amber’ to meet the girl I’m seeing, so it ended up being a pretty damn good night.

On Sunday I relaxed and walked around awkwardly on legs that burned with soreness in revenge for my not having stretched before the kickball game. On Monday morning I threw on a suit and made my way down to the Crown for the main event of the Aussie Millions.

Unfortunately, I have since lost the sheet of paper I used to record the hands that day. However, I remember a few of the key ones which I’ll go over.

At the start of my day my table was seven handed with Australian players Grant Levy, Jason Grey, and Max aka ‘SoStandard’ online. The first major pot came up against two of them:
My stack: ~24,000, Max: ~20,000, Jason Gray: ~22,000, blinds 50/100. I held KdKc on the HJ, we were 7 handed.
Preflop: Max raised to 300 UTG, 1 fold, I reraised to 1100, it folded to Jason in the SB, Jason called, BB folds, Max called.
Flop: 4d 9c 9h
Jason checked, Max checked, and I checked behind as Jason’s flat call pre flop was very suspicious and I realized that if I bet the flop and got checkraised I would absolutely hate my life.
Turn: 6d
Jason checked, Max checked, I bet 2200, Jason called, Max thought for a bit and called.
River: 2d
Jason checked, Max checked, and I thought it over and fired 4200 for value, Jason called, Max folded. I tabled my KK and Jason showed me his AA.

As the day progressed I found myself often three betting the late position open raises of Max. He probably thought I was fucking with him, but the two times I’d three bet him before our major pot I had KK and AK. The third time I did it things got more involved.
My stack: ~26,000, Max: ~20,000, blinds were 150/300 with a 25 ante. I held AdKc in the SB.
Preflop: It folded to Max on the CO, Max raised to 900, button folded, I raised to 3000, BB folded, Max thought it over and called.
Flop: Tc 8d 2c
I bet 3500, Max called.
Turn: 5c
I checked, Max bet 3000. I thought about perhaps check shoving, but I thought Max’s range for betting here was hands that were either huge or quite weak and that I had a clean 15 outs and would just wind up spewing most of the time I check shoved and he called, so I called.
River: 5d
I checked and Max checked behind then tabled 8h7h. Fuck me for not having shoved the turn.

The very next hand I was involved again against a very weak and recreational player who limped quite often:
My stack: ~16,500, CO: ~24,000, blinds 150/300 with a 25 ante. I held KcQc on the button.
Preflop: It folded around to the CO, the CO limped for 300, I raised to 1200, both blinds folded, the CO called.
Flop: 9c 3d 2h
The CO checked, I bet 1300, the CO called.
Turn: 8h
The CO checked and I checked behind.
River: As
The CO checked, I bet 3500, the CO called and showed me A4o.

After that things went from bad to worse. I lost nearly every small pot I played and eventually wound up getting moved tables. I put a nice suck out on a guy when I made an in position go and go that turned into calling his stop and go and having 6 outs with my overcards. Unfortunately, I continued to lose every pot I entered after that and I found myself consistently short stacked and much too flop dead to accumulate chips. Eventually I found a decent spot against the very aggressive Australian player Emad Thatou, who with a decent sized stack open raises many pots.
My stack: ~7900, Emad: ~40,000, UTG+1: ~35,000, blinds 200/400 with a 50 ante. I held 8d8c on the button on an 8 handed table.
Preflop: Emad raised to 1100, UTG+1 called, it folded to me on the button, I shoved about 7900, it folded back to Emad, Emad folded, UTG+1 thought briefly and called with KQo.
Flop: A J 4
Turn: T
I tapped the table, wished everyone luck, and quietly walked off. I have yet to get out of the first day in the Aussie Millions main event alive.

I knock on the door of that apartment Timex and Sirwatts are staying in. They got here yesterday and decided to stay in the same apartment building as me for the duration of the Aussie Millions and a few weeks afterwards, giving me access to people to challenge to 2am games of Madden when the mood strikes me, which is often.

When we arrive at the casino they inform me they need cash for the buy in before they’re able to get money off Gary Benson via transfer. I’ve brought $10,000 with me today (just in case) and wind up loaning them over $4000 of it. Hopefully things don’t go very wrong. I get my tournament receipt and walk over to my table which is currently playing three handed as I’m a couple minutes late. I’ve drawn seat four. Sitting on my direct right in seat three is none other than notorious and prolific online cheat, Josh ‘JJprodigy’ Fields.

I’d wound up sitting next to him during a preliminary event at last years Aussie Millions. I had a fairly long and cordial chat with him where I told him that I didn’t approve of his actions (obviously) but that if he goes straight, plays it modest, attempts reparations, and never gets in the slightest out of line ever again he just might find acceptance at some point in the future. As many know, after he left the Aussie Millions he went straight back to multi accounting, then leading up to the PCA and Aussie Millions this year yet again attempted to issue an online apology. My opinion this year is that he can go fuck himself.

When I sit down I say nothing and sit there playing quietly with my body language angled away from him. At some point he turns to me and asks a question I barely listen to. I glare at him briefly then answer “I don’t know man” coldly, then turn in my seat so my back is literally facing him and continue playing sitting sideways in my chair. At some point someone throws a tiny balled up piece of paper at him.

By the time the table gets seven handed the line up is myself, JJprodigy, Sorel Mizzi, Eric Assadourian, Grant Levy, and two guys I’m less familiar with. Grant and Sorel are getting it all in preflop blind. I’m mostly card dead and unable to take advantage of the loose play outside getting involved in a few small pots which I lose nearly unanimously. The first major pot I play I see a flop from the BB with 4c5c in a multi way raised pot. The flop comes A 6 3 with a club and I check-shove over a continuation bet and get called by A9 which holds. I double rebuy then shortly thereafter look down at AA when Sorel open shoves blind. I hold over his rags and double up to nearly 6000 in chips. Those are the only pots of interest I play the entire rebuy period, and when it’s over I take the double addon and increase my stack to nearly 9000, putting me in for $6150 total.

When we return to play I sit tight for a while before playing a considerable pot with Sorel:
My stack: ~9200, Sorel: ~13,000, Eric: ~5,000 blinds 50/100, I hold 7h6h on the button
Preflop: Sorel raises to 275 UTG, folds to me on the button, I call, Eric calls in the SB, BB folds.
Flop: Qh 4c 3h
Eric checks, Sorel bets 550, I call, Eric folds.
Turn: Th
Sorel thinks for quite a while then bets 1375. I consider my options and although I would raise against many opponents I think that the stacks, the texture, and my image are such that there is basically no way Sorel pays off against me with a worse hand so I call intending to call a river bet even if another heart hits and cram over a bet otherwise.
River: Kd
Sorel checks, I think for a bit then fire 3250, Sorel tanks for a while then reluctantly folds.

The line up on the table makes accumulating chips pretty difficult, though it’s certainly interesting play to watch. It’s not until the next level that I get involved again:
My stack: ~10,000, Grant: ~16,000, Sorel: ~11,000, blinds 75/150 I hold 5s5d in the BB.
Preflop: Two folds, Grant raises to 525 in MP1, 1 fold, Sorel calls on the HJ, folds to me in the BB, I call.
Flop: Jc 7c 5c
I check, Grant bets 1250, Sorel folds, I grab the majority of my chips (about 9000) and throw them in leaving a few hundred behind, Grant tanks and calls.
Turn: 5h
I throw my last few hundred in and Grant calls. I say politely “I’ve got the nizzles son” and table my quads. Grant shows JsTs and starts berating himself for his flop call. I take out my note sheets and start writing and he asks me to let him have it in the blog for his call.

Just an orbit or so later I’m involved again:
My stack: ~20,000, Eric: ~10,000, blinds 75/150 I hold 9h9d on the CO.
Preflop: Folds to me on the CO, I raise to 400, Eric reraises to 1100 on the button, both blinds fold. I know I certainly can’t four bet for value against Eric because he doesn’t get it in nearly as light as an online player and we’re too deep. I also know I can’t fold since Eric is in fact capable of 3 betting light or other weird hands here. I’m stuck calling, the lesser of three evils. I call.
Flop: 7d Qc 7h
I check, Eric thinks briefly and checks behind.
Turn: 9c
I bet 1700, Eric quickly raises to 4000. I look over at his stack and realize that if he’s bluffing there’s no way he’ll put the rest in on the river if I flat this, so I’m better off hoping he was slow playing on the flop and cram. I move in and Eric tables AsKs face up and folds. It’s not long before Eric and I get tangled up again:
My stack: ~25,000, Eric: ~7,000, HJ: ~20,000, UTG: ~4,000, blinds 75/150 I hold JdTd in the SB.
Preflop: UTG raises to 350, folds to HJ who is a loose/weak player who calls, folds to me in the SB, I call (I’m clearly never calling here if HJ doesn’t call), Eric calls in the BB.
Flop: Tc 6s 8s
I check, Eric checks, UTG checks, HJ bets 750, I call, Eric shoves, UTG folds, HJ folds. Eric is the type of player to defend a huge range of hands from the BB in this spot, so everything from draws to combination hands to two pair are in his range here. “There’s a lot of draws out there Eric, I call.” Eric tables 6To and I need to suck out.
Turn: 2
River: Q

I gain a few chips back shortly thereafter when I donk into a weak player on the turn when a flush scare card hits (holding ace high) and am mostly inactive due to how aggressive the table has become. There’s an Australian player in seat 9 who I’ve played with numerous times and is incredibly loose with spastic bluff tendencies that I soon get involved in a pot with:
My stack: ~15,000, MP1: ~16,000, MP2: ~13,000, blinds 150/300 with 25 ante. I hold AcQs on the button.
Preflop: Folds to MP1 who is the really spastic player, MP1 raises to 900, MP2 calls, folds to me on the button, I raise to 3600 (happy to get it in preflop vs MP1), folds back to MP1, MP1 calls, MP2 folds.
Flop: 8s 8h Js
MP1 checks, I check behind because he’ll check shove as a bluff at too high a frequency and it’ll be a really gross and annoying spot.
Turn: 5s
MP1 leads 3000, I move all in (this is probably for value against his range) and he folds after little thought. Just a few hands later I’m involved again:
My stack: ~27,000, BB: ~16,000, blinds 150/300 with 25 ante. I hold Ac8c in MP1.
Preflop: Folds to me, I raise to 800, folds to the BB, BB calls. BB is a loose player who is not very good post flop.
Flop: Kd Jd 2s
BB checks, I bet 1200, BB calls.
Turn: 7s
BB checks, I check.
River: Kc
BB bets 3000. I’m pretty confident this player isn’t good enough to value bet many jacks ehre, and certainly not for such a large bet of 3000. I feel like the entirely of his range is trips or better and missed draw, of which there are numerous on this board. I make the call with ace high and get shown KQ. D’oh.

I lose a small pot when I raise 44 and a loose player shoves 12 BB’s over my raise and I call then lose to his 88.

Through the 200/400 and 300/600 levels I only play a few pots and manage to mostly maintain my stack by taking down my fair share of blinds and antes. It’s not until the 400/800 level that I get involved again:
My stack: ~25,000, UTG: ~25,000, blinds 400/800 with 100 ante, I hold 9s9c on the CO on a 7 handed table.
Preflop: UTG raises to 2500, folds to me on the CO, I call, three folds.
Flop: 7 6 5 rainbow
UTG bets 5500, I call.
Turn: 6
UTG checks, I check back.
River: K
Fuck. UTG seems to think about making a bet, stares over at me, then checks. I obviously check back. UTG tables AJo and I drag the pot.

By the 600/1200 level we’re playing on the bubble and things have tightened up considerably. My table is six handed and we’re one off the money when my next hand comes up.
My stack: 24,100, CO: ~80,000, blinds 600/1200 with 100 ante. I hold 8d8c on the HJ.
Preflop: UTG folds, I move all in for 24,100, the CO goes into the tank for quite a while then calls, the rest fold. I table 88 and he shows AK. A large crowd gathers hoping that I’ll bust. I shrug and say nothing, totally apathetic to the results.
Flop: 3 4 6 rainbow
Turn: 6
River: J
“That’s cool” I say calmly then start stacking up my new chips. The very next hand I get involved again:
My stack: ~50,000, Chufty: ~60,000 blinds 800/1600 with 200 ante. I hold AsTs UTG 6 handed.
Preflop: I raise to 4000, folds to online player ‘Chufty’ on the button, Chufty calls, both blinds fold.
Flop: A T A rainbow
Worst. Flop. Ever. I think over my bet briefly then fire 5500. Chufty calls.
Turn: J
I check, Chufty checks behind.
River: 7
I count out 13,500 then fire it into the pot. Chufty goes into the tank for a long time and a considerable crowd gathers since we’re hand for hand and play at other tables has stopped. After a very long consideration he folds. A few minutes later we enter the money and I’ve got 62,000 going into it, slightly above average.

My table breaks and I find myself in a new seat with the line up on my right being Sorel Mizzi, Chufty, and StevoL. The players on my left are considerably weaker than those three, meaning I’ve landed the dream seat on this table. I pick up small pots to stay above water as players slip off and we near the final table. Eventually Sorel gets moved to the other table, putting Chufty directly next to me. We eventually get involved in a blind vs blind pot.
My stack: ~ 60,000, Chufty: ~140,000, blinds 1k/2k with 300 ante, I hold 8c4c in the BB.
Preflop: Folds to Chufty in the SB, Chufty completes, I check.
Flop: 7h 8h 9d
Chufty bets 3000, I call.
Turn: Ad
Chufty thinks for a bit then fires 5500. Seems like a weird card for him to try and value town me with a nine, and I don’t imagine he has an ace all that often here. Meanwhile I think there’s a large number of draws he can fire multiple barrels with on this board, particularly blind vs blind. I call.
River: 8d
Chufty checks, I bet 12,500 he thinks it over and calls. I table my hand and he flashes an ace then asks me what the hell I called the turn for since “You only beat a bluff.” For some reason I go into a polite rambling on my thought process, the end it with “Well that and I’m just a massive calling station.”

At one point I watch Stevo lose a considerable pot when he gets A8o in vs A7o pre flop blind vs blind. The A7o ends up making runner runner straight after Stevo flopped top two, and watching it happen gave me a more sickened emotional reaction than any beat I’d took. Stevo manages to get his stack back up around 15 BB’s before a pot comes up between the two of us while there are 10 left in the tournament:
My stack: ~90,000, Stevo: ~30,000, blinds 1k/2k with 300 ante, I hold 9s9c at a 5 handed table on the button.
Prefop: Stevo open shoves, CO folds, I reshove, both blinds fold. Stevo shows AQo and we’re off to the races.
Flop: 6 4 3
Turn: 4
River: 3
God I run good against Stevo live. We shake hands and everyone stops to count up their chips. My 120,900 chips puts me in fourth place, but I’m essentially tied for second. The final table isn’t what I was hoping for given that it contains Sorel Mizzi, Chufty, Rkrouk, MonsterDong, and a 25/50 NL grinder. The other three I’m less familiar with though.

I give Stevo a ride home and we sit out on my porch discussing the tournament and smoking a small joint. I get to bed around 5am.

I wake up at 2pm. I grab a protein bar then head over to the gym and work out for the next hour. I get home, take a shower, then change into a suit. I leave my house at 3:28pm with the final table starting at 4pm. It’s a roughly 10-15 minute drive to the casino.

Or so I thought. The streets into the city are absolutely jammed with stand still traffic. I’ve never seen anything like it or close to. What the fuck could everyone possibly need to get into Southbank at 3:30pm on a fucking Friday for? At 3:55pm I’m still stuck in traffic only half way there and I’m screaming obscenities and punch my steering wheel four times. The woman in the car next to me look at me like I’m crazy. Jarred calls and asks why I’m not there yet. My response is along the lines of
“I’M STUCK IN FUCKING TRAFFIC ON THE MIDDLE OF ST. KILDA FUCKING ROAD I MEAN JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WHERE THE FUCK COULD ALL THESE FUCKING ASSHOLES BE GOING AT THIS TIME ON FUCKING FRIDAY DID THEY ALL SPONTANEOUSLY DECIDE TO JUST HAVE A FUCKING PICNIC GOD DAMN IT!!!”

I get parked at the Eureka parking center across the street from Crown and sprint the whole way down the Crown complex to the poker room. I arrive in the poker room at 4:30pm a half hour late in a suit dripping in sweat. I’m all apologies and explanations to Timex and all curse words at the table. I grab a few Kleenex to dry myself off then settle into the table and calm myself down. Luckily I’m the kind of cold person who turns his emotions on and off like a light switch, and once I’m seated I feel nothing. Besides, it turns out I’ve only missed an orbit, thanks to the pace of live poker.

I pick up a couple small pots and get my stack back over what it started at for the day. About 20 minutes into my play at the table I get involved in my first serious pot:
My stack: ~125k, HJ: ~80,000 blinds, blinds 1k/2k with 300 ante. I hold KdKc UTG+1.
Preflop: UTG folds, I raise to 5000, folds to the HJ, HJ raises to 15,000, it folds back to me. The HJ is one of the unknown players on the table, a guy of perhaps 55 who I’m told isn’t particularly good. Flatting seems like the clear play here since cramming will often get him to fold AK/JJ. I call.
Flop: 6s Qd 9s
I check, HJ bets 25,000, I move all in and HJ thinks for a about 5-10 seconds then says call and tables AcAs. I table my kings and mumble “Standuuuuuurd” to myself and roll my eyes.
Turn: 5s
River: 4c
I pass off the majority of my stack, but remind myself to stay cool. I’m involved the very next hand.
My stack: ~45,000, MP2: ~170k, Sorel: ~120k, blinds 1k/2k with 300 ante. I hold 9s9c UTG.
Preflop: I raise to 5000, folds to MP2, MP2 calls, folds to Sorel in the SB, Sorel calls, BB folds.
Flop: 6c 7c 8h
Sorel thinks then leads 14,400, I shove for 24,100 more than his bet, MP2 folds, Sorel makes the call and tables 55. The player between us remarks that he folded a 4.
Turn: 7h
River: 4d
I don’t react but the crowd seems pretty disgusted. I shake Sorels hand and tell him good luck then loudly remark to the crowd “Guess I should’ve been an hour late!”

I grab some of the boys from the rail and we hit the bar and start downing drinks. We keep this up until we walk over to Transport but realize it’s much too crowded and too old a crowd to enjoy. Numerous friends tell us they’re heading over to the club ‘Eve’ so we make our way over. A group of about 10 of us meet up and we start cranking down red bulls, vodka redbull, and liquid cocaine.

Myself, Andy McLeod, Sirwatts, and Timex hit the dance floor and start tearing it up. The evening starts to become a blur. Conversations happen, I dance with various guys and girls, and I’m laughing my ass off but I can’t seem to remember what at. Apparently I picked up some girls shoe she’d left by the dance floor and danced around waiving it in the air for 15 minutes. I have no memory of this. The final table was a bad beat, but it made for a damn good night.

The amount of writing required to do the trip report for this event simply isn’t feasible at the current hour. I’ve made the final table of the $1000 rebuys prelim event at the Aussie Millions fourth in chips but essentially tied for second. It’s a very tough line up of guys and should be interesting to see how it turns out. We start up at 4pm Melbourne time.
Live reporting here: http://www.pokernews.com/live-reporting/
And pay outs:
1 160,326 AUD
2 120,098 AUD
3 82,203 AUD
4 53,927 AUD
5 37,895 AUD
6 30,607 AUD
7 22,737 AUD
8 16,907 AUD
9 11,077 AUD

Plus if you win you get a fancy gold Aussie Millions ring, perfect for pimp slapping all the fools I pity on a daily basis.

I’m a bit tired to write the third installment of the Aussie Millions trip reports for the moment, though I did recently do an interview for pokerverdict.com and got the link to it today. Here’s the link: http://www.pokerverdict.com/Poker-Players-Club/Interviews/185849/player_interview_bond18.html

Will get back to the proper writing tomorrow night.