This weekend kicked off the Poker News Cup at Crown with a $175 NL event. I didn’t end up playing it because I wanted to maintain my dignity but unfortunately I’ll be going into Crown later tonight to return to the humiliating process that is live poker. Tonight’s event has a structure that can only be described as horrific for the skilled player: 3000 start bank, 25/50 blinds, 30 minute levels, no antes.

I imagine most of the interesting writing that will result from the first couple events will likely be stories of the various degenerates that inhabit Crown and the god awful play of my opponents. Though I must admit, I’m pretty giddy for some of the upcoming quality tournaments. The Poker News Cup main event has an absolutely gorgeous structure that starts us with 20,000 in chips at 50/100 and brings antes in at the THIRD level. More good news in the live poker department is that the tournaments in Macau have been officially announced and set up, as the Asian Poker Open, information can be found here:
http://www.asianpokeropen.com/index.php?cid=1

Most exciting about that trip is the $15,000 event which according to Jonno of Poker News is going to be 5 good players and 25 degen gamblers with little idea of how to play. Even more interesting is that apparently both that and the $2500 main event there are to be televised, though god knows where. I’ve learned in the past that people will say just about anything to have their tournament turned into a big deal, especially in regards to advertising it as televised, so we’ll see. I’m not per say excited to go to Macau itself, as it’s basically a dirtier, more mob (or in this case, Triad) infested version of Las Vegas that the large developers are trying to into Vegas. As if Vegas isn’t insane enough now imagine a place where the gamblers are so intense and feverous that some urinate on the floor under their seat instead of risk giving it up and having to wait at the back of the crowd.

I have enough trouble hanging out in the casino floor of Crown already, where most of the degens mind their own business and the gangsters are all in the Mahogany, Teak, and poker room. When I was much younger I thought casinos were glamorous and interesting places like in the Bond movies, and gangsters were subtle and well dressed like the Godfather. Now I know casinos are depressing shit holes packed with angle shooters and gangsters are mostly annoying fucking drug peddlers in stained pants who spend all their time either gambling or whoring. Then again I hear many of the casinos in Europe still have a dress code so maybe EPT Monte Carlo will change my mind, but I doubt it.

If I was a teacher these are the kinds of places I’d take my students. “Okay class I know we’re supposed to go to the Natural Sciences museum today but we’re taking a little detour….to the casino! Here’s your assignments:
1. Attempt the martingale system on blackjack. First one to prove to me mathematically how it inevitably results in gamblers ruin gets an A.
2. Loan a broke and gambling friend money. Make sure to get his drivers license and copy down his address so you know where to find him when he stops returning your calls. Bonus points if you make vague threats against his family.
3. Go to the baccarat pit and observe how everyone takes notes on the previous action despite inanimate objects having no memory. When everyone is on a streak and has a bunch of money on either player or banker, sit down and bet the minimum on the opposite and wink at the biggest bettor.
4. Go to the poker room and ask everyone you meet if they’re winning. Then write me an equation of how it’s possible that 95% of players are up.
5. First one to get their teacher comped at the casinos best restaurant doesn’t have to take the final.”

I imagine kids would learn way more from a day like this than observing the process by which a jet engine works. Unless of course you need to hold the head of that friend you lent money to next to one.

Anonymous says

Jonno of Poker News is going to be 5 good players and 25 degen gamblers with little idea of how to play

So does Jonno consider you one of the 5 good players or 25 degens? Good luck in the tournaments.

HarryRyan

10/23/07

lakong says

How about something like: Is the probably that everyone who busts out of a tournament and thinks that they suffered a bad beat, equal to or less than 100%?

- S

10/23/07

Anonymous says

Macau sounds pleasant. I'm laughing again, thanks man

10/23/07

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