Player Profile
by Bond18 on 03/28/08
I was doing the paper work necessary for the Party Poker Million cruise today and they have a player profile section you need to fill out for TV and marketing purposes. At first I filled the sheet out straight, but then I let a wise crack slip in. One thing led to another and, well, I'll let you read it for yourself. Here's what I'm sending back Party Poker:Player Profile
(This information may be used for TV production and Marketing purposes)
Full name: _____George Anthony Dunst______________
Place of birth: __Milwaukee Wisconsin, United States_________________
Age: _23__________________
Current place of residence: ___Melbourne, Australia________________
Profession: _Poker player and degenerate extraordinaire. For legitimacy purposes I am also a writer.________________
Marital status: ___single but my girlfriend has dug her claws in pretty deep.________________
Children: ___none________________
Ages: ___________________
When and how did you get into Poker: __Age 18, playing with friends in high school. I was the school bookie, but eventually that dried up, so I had to find a new way to hustle my friend’s money.
Who is your favorite Poker player and why: __Mike ‘Timex’ McDonald because he gives me money to gamble with and never yells at me when I lose it.
Career Highlight - Live tournaments titles: __I am a 100% failure at live poker. I’m talking Napoleon at Waterloo level failure here.
- Online tournament titles: _I’m not sure how many wins anymore. Biggest was on Full Tilt 100 rebuys for 36k.
Favorite past time, sports or hobbies: __Watching Brett Favre work his magic. Playing Call of Duty 4. Keeping Timex in the middle class.
Personals goals or ambition: _I want to make a lot of money playing poker. I want to save up enough money that I can buy an enormous mansion and place everything valuable in the world in it. Then after I’ve accumulated everything important I’ll one day keel over in old age, dropping a snow globe as I fade into death, mumbling “Rosebud” with my last breath.
Favorite Movie: _The Godfather
Favorite Music: _Elvis__________________
Favorite Place: _They’re all pretty good, except Shanghai. Shanghai sucks.
Describe yourself in 5 words: Baddest motherfucker of all time.
Comments
brad2002tj says
LOL.03/28/08
EdmondDantes says
Bond...I forwarded your application to UFC. They were impressed by your self-description and are anxious to invite you to compete. Unfortunately, I didn't know what weight class to recommend. Please advise ASAP. Your agent, Edmond03/28/08
Bond18 says
Pussy-weight division please.03/28/08
lakeoffire says
I liked the Citizen Kane reference...03/29/08
cremey dizzle holla! (Anonymous) says
nothing here was funny at all ....03/29/08
Anonymous says
keeping timex in the middle class... rofl03/30/08
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