EdmondDantes says

Wilde would have read your stuff..."My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's." And this from a deviant genius whose own tedious lifestyle resulted in a two year stint of hard labor for gross indecency!

P.S. He'd have given you a pass on the WCOOP events..."Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast."

09/24/07

tateissy says

Funny, funny post. I especially like the title. Here's a solution to your poker traveling dilemma. MOVE!!!!!!

09/24/07

BadgerPro says

Really don't know why you left Wisconsin to begin with. Beer, cheese, meat, and not to mention you can't even watch Brett Favre play what may be some of the best football of his career.

09/24/07

Anonymous says

I enjoy reading your ramblings. I even subscribe to them. Not sure why. Maybe I'm pathetic. alrite. I am pathetic. Please keep them up.

09/24/07

gearyflop says

Where can I buy that video game? Do I get to pick the sex and looks of my person. If I did, I would not have them do mundane things like doing the dishes. Maybe they would be mundane, but not like you describe. if you have a link please post it.

09/24/07

Bond18 says

Geary,

You could just google The Sims. The more popular one these days seems to be Second Life, which is like an online virtual world apparently. I don't know much about it but it sounds pretty hardcore cause there is a built up virtual economy. It has made me consider creating virtual organized crime.

Edmond,

Well done with the quotes you highly coultured WASP you.

Tate,

Thank you, i was going for Wildeesque irony.

Badger,

I miss Wisconsin. But not its suicide inducing winters. Have fun with those.

Anon,

Thanks, i will.

09/24/07

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I still find it kind of unfathomable that blogging exists. It seems unreal to me that when you put down in words the little bland intricacies of your life someone will glance over and say “now here’s someone I shall live vicariously through! Happy days!” Well, they probably won’t actually say ‘Happy Days!’, not out loud at least, but they just might think it. Fuckers.

It’s unfathomable in the same way that ‘The Sim’s’ video game became widely popular. I can just see that sales pitch in the development department at EA games;

“Okay guys I have the sickest idea ever for a video game. You see, you can create a person, and control their life. Like, you get to order them to do all the mundane little things like do the dishes, take out the trash, and go to work. It’ll be just like a person’s actual cripplingly monotonous life, but miniaturized!”

Odds are the company debated firing him but alternatively decided to shoot him and dump him in a river instead, hoping to reduce the overall level of human stupidity. Then somehow, the game got developed anyway, perhaps some animator got high on ecstasy and didn’t realize what he was doing. And then the game blew up and everyone loved it and they made 87 sequels and all the guys at EA games became as rich as Bill Gates and spent out their days living on a resort having sex with other peoples wives while on vacation. Pretty sure I read that somewhere.

So instead of everyone going out and living their lives in order to accomplish what they wanted to get done, they just had Sim John Jerkoff take care of it for them. John got the fancy house, the cool job, the big TV, and 8 girlfriends. You got a few hours mild amusement, a 6 dollar an hour job, and a C drive overstuffed with pornography. Or maybe I’m just annoyed for the way I spent my teenage years.

But I digress. Blogging seems weird to me because the people reading it probably have better things to do, and most bloggers can’t write. Much like the more I play poker the more I realize I suck at poker, the more I read and write the more I realize I totally fucking suck at writing, and that’s annoying. I’ve been reading Oscar Wilde lately, and that guy makes my writing look like it was created by a drunken lemur, though without all the blatant homosexual subtext.

About 95% of the time I write my blog or read someone else’s I just sit back and think “Jesus Christ that is so disgustingly self involved.” That’s the hard part. How do you write anything in this format without it coming off self absorbed and totally lame? I mean it’s supposed to be about you, so it seems unavoidable. Even harder is writing it with some wit and flair so when you look back on it you don’t. It’s easier when I’m playing live and can simply write up exactly what happened that day on the poker table then spice it up with a few curse words and insults. However, given that I won’t be playing any live poker for at least another month I’m forced to find other methods of creation.

Which is another thing annoying me. There is an absolute ton of good live poker going on right now in some great locations; London, Barcelona, Turks and Caicos, Aruba, Korea, all are having a tournament this month or next. Unfortunately, due Australia being in the ass end of the world, going to one of these tournaments is an enormous hassle. To get to any of these places, for one person (which would never happen due to girlfriend’s neediness) would be roughly $2000 in airfares, $1-2000 in hotel, and $1000 in additional expenses. Factor in an enormous jet lag and the fact that you have to spend 24 hours in planes and airports twice in ~two weeks and the prospect of doing one of these is suicide inducing. How I envy those in the states who can take a four hour flight to the Caribbean, or nine to Europe.

The possible Pacific region poker is looking less and less likely. All I’ve received about the Macau tournament is an email from a friend who doesn’t work in the industry, but there has been no official announcement of anything. Betfair was supposedly having their 5k tournament in Singapore again, and while a friend has said that the organizer from last year has confirmed it will happen, again there is no official announcement anywhere. Both these events were supposed to be in November, and as it is now late September I don’t like the chances of either happening. The Poker News Cup is coming up in October down the street here in Melbourne at Crown, but there’s really only two moderately interesting events involved, with the highest buy in $2500 AUD outside the “Bad Boys of Poker” event, which is a 10k AUD buy in ego tournament, where ten or twenty guys will put up the money to play a field with next to zero value. Sure a bunch of them won’t actually be good at poker, but none of them will really suck in the way your average tournament player will suck and anyone who really thought about why they were playing it could likely recognize it was simply for publicity or bragging rights sake.

After that I might go over to Adelaide in November since such little else is going on, and of course there’s the AAPT in Sydney in December. All of this in preparation for the Aussie Millions, which outside the WSOP is the most important series of tournaments or myself. Either way I need to play something to play soon because I’m running out of material here.

In the mean time I keep running like absolute god online except for Stars. I seem to make roughly two final tables a day and when I do it normally ends in a heads up match. I’ve got another four days to win a tournament on either Stars, UB, or Absolute (lol, I’m having fun picturing the seizure Adanthar is having over Absolute) in order to get another triple crown, and if I keep winning every time I get it in behind that’ll likely happen. Unfortunately, I don’t really have anything interesting to write about, perhaps I’ll do something content heavy like the Nath review, but that seems kind of dull.

Perhaps I’ll do a WCOOP trip report and just break down the hands, but god that sounds so disgustingly boring. The WCOOP is of course a huge fucking annoyance in general because the events start at either 5 or 6:30am. I’ve just woken up now for the $530 PL Hold’em event, and even though I set my alarm for 6:25am, I awoke at 6:55am and realized the alarm must have gone off but I turned it off subconsciously and returned to sleep. I’m also feeling fairly sick because my girlfriends extended family had a to-do of some kind last night until 10pm way out in some suburb and my presence was required, despite nobody really speaking English. So obviously I didn’t get to sleep till 11pm and I feel like shit.

We ate out at an authentic Shanghaiese restaurant. In on evening I discovered I am without a doubt the most brilliant Shanhaiese cook on the planet because I know the recipe for every dish on the menu. I’ll even give you the secret:

Step 1: Select any meat you choose. Actual choice is irrelevant cause we’re about to fuck it up beyond recognition.
Step 2: Deep fry the living shit out of said meat.
Step 3: Choose any random selection of sauces. Pour roughly four bottles of selected sauce onto meat.
Step 4: Deep fry the living shit out of the sauce covered meat again. Throw some vegetables in there.
Step 5: Fin.

There you go, you can now go open your very own Shanghaiese restaurant and have a competition with Nobu as to which is worse. As for me, I’ve got donkaments to play. Hopefully something blog worthy happens.