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June 5th, Las Vegas: I wake up in the upstairs room of the Vegas house. I take shower, eat breakfast, and then set up my laptop on the table in the living room. I hook in my monitor as well but after doing so I realize it alters the resolution on the laptop and makes things more uncomfortable then it does convenient so I just go back to the single screen.

I fire up table after table of online tournaments and register for most anything I can get my hands on. During my grind I chat to a number of friends and invite them over to smoke a joint then go out and meet girls. I play about 30 tournaments over the course of the day and wind up winning a small one on Stars, the 30 double rebuy add on, for just under $3,000, which at least gives me some profit for the day; a rarity when at the WSOP.

By the time my grind finishes my friends Shawn Green from Cardplayer and ‘Letmelive’ on 2+2 have shown up, and house mate Joel Dodds has agreed to go out with us. ‘Letmelive’ brought over his own peach flavored blunt, which the two of us step outside and take some hits from. I let him do most of the smoking because attempting to talk to girls while in a state of weed induced paranoia rarely works well (and Lord knows I’ve tried) and tell him he is a hero for having brought the weed to the party.

Shawn drives us over to Town Square and we go into the chilled out beer drinking establishment Yardhouse. We grab some drinks then sit down at a table. I glance around the place and see two cute looking girls in a booth with no guys. I walk over to the booth with my beer, sit down next to one of them, and tell them they have to keep me company because my group is turning me into a third wheel. They initially seem reserved but I just keep talking and start turning things around. I realize they are much older than I had thought; at least in their 30’s. They do not seem thrilled about the age difference. I hang out with them for like 30 minutes and although the interaction is mostly positive I don’t really click with either and eventually excuse myself.

I meet back up with the guys and we decide to bail out. I approach a table with two girls at it on our way out, but they tell me they have boyfriends. I exit immediately. We go back to the parking lot, get into Shawn’s car, and drive over to the Rio to meet up with some people who are apparently at a birthday party at NDFuego’s.

We wait in line at the club for a while and are told there is going to be a cover for us; I hope this shit is good. We go inside the club and meet up with a group of people that Shawn knows. I glance around the club and it is fairly empty and the dance floor is nearly devoid of people; fuck. Most of the girls I see are with other guys. I take a walk around the club and spot two hot women at a bar and they are ordering drinks. I walk up with ‘LetmeLive’ and say
“Well as long as you girls are getting drinks why don’t you buy me one?”
They do not buy either of us a drink, though don’t totally blow us out. We hang around chatting a bit but then they mention they are married. We politely excuse ourselves.

We go back to the booth and hang around and drink for a while. I see a few hot girls on the dance floor and go over and tell one she should dance with me. It’s so damn loud she can’t even hear me and just looks confused, then turns back around. Fucking clubs.

I return to the table and continue drinking. There are no more women around the place I see that I can reasonably approach. Many people in the table area are dancing and grinding, including the birthday girl. I stand up for a moment and she grabs me and we start dancing. She is dancing with another dude who I am told is gay. Said gay rumor is confirmed when he starts heavily hitting on me. Then he reaches down and gropes my crotch and licks his lips at me. Having been a theatre major I am accustomed to homosexuals, so I don’t lose my shit and calmly say
“Sorry dude, I’m as straight as they come. Nothing down there for you” then I point to the birthday girl “Only for her.”
“Sorry! I am so Sorry!” he says “I’m just so drunk is all! I even have a boyfriend; I’m not usually like this. I’m Sorry!” he continues then he grabs my crotch again and starts making kissing faces at me. Damn, this gay dude is drunk as hell.

This sequence continues for the next 20 minutes or so of dancing and grinding. The gay guy gropes me in the area of 10 times, and each time I stay chill and tell him I’m straight. Then he apologizes profusely and winds up grabbing me again. Eventually the birthday girl gets annoyed and lectures him. He suggests that he fuck the both of us. I decline his offer. Then he asks if I’m sure I’m not gay.
“Look dude I’m gonna clarify to you once and for all that I’m straight”
I throw my arm around the birthday girl and start making out with her very hard. She is quite receptive. She pins me against the wall separating our table from the dance floor and we make out for quite a while. I hear someone yell “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” behind us. She seems pretty drunk. I’m fairly sure the gay guy gropes me again at some point; it’s all pretty blurry and loud and with lots of tongue in my mouth so who can really tell?

Eventually the birthday girl says she’s leaving and wants me to take down her number. I do so. I hang around with Shawn and ‘Letmelive’ for a while exchanging “What the fuck” faces at the whole sequence for a while. We decide to leave.

Walking out of the club I make eye contact with a cute Asian girl in a group of about eight of them. She stares back. I say hi. She says hi back. I walk up to her and say
“You know you can’t just look at me like that and expect me not to come say hello”
She is a little shocked but clearly pleased. A few sentences later she says
“You need to take your shirt off”
“Then you need to be the one to take it off” I retort.
She starts unbuttoning my shirt and I throw my arm around her. I am told I need to give the girl getting married a kiss. I can tell she’s a little uncomfortable with it so I tell her
“We’ll keep it PC and go for a kiss on the cheek” and she relaxes. The other Asian girl is groping my now opened shirt chest throughout all of this. The group says they want to leave, so I tell the girl I have my arm around to put her number in my phone. She says she doesn’t have one but that I can take down her hotel room number. I do so immediately and say I’ll call her in an hour. Vegas is a strange place.

We leave the Rio and I talk everyone into going for Korean BBQ. We drive down to my favorite joint in the strip mall just past the Wynn and I order way too much food. An hour into the meal I call the Bellagio and ask for the room number I was given and give the girls first name. They tell me I have to have the last name. I attempt to talk my way out of it and fail miserably. One of Shawn’s platonic female friends is hanging out with us for dinner and says she’ll try as well in a few minutes. When she does she faces the same rejection. You win this time, Bellagio hotel.

Shawn drives us home and I stumble exhausted into the Vegas house. I have clearly eaten too much Korean food. I need to sleep immediately.