April 23rd, Las Vegas: I arrive at ‘The Venetian’ poker room about 10 minutes late for the tournament. I buy in with the $2500 in cash ‘Shaundeeb’ was nice enough to have hooked me up with and find my seat at a table of unknowns. We start 20,000 deep at 25/50 blinds with 90 minute levels. This is a very sick tournament, particularly since a quick glance around the room confirms it is almost entirely made up of value.

My table plays extremely loose-weak in the early goings, and a few of the guys are clearly huge targets post flop. The English gentleman on my right limps or calls a raise nearly every hand, and calls down like crazy post flop. I take every opportunity I can to get involved with him and it’s not long before we tangle in a large pot:
Effective stacks: ~20,000, blinds 25/50, I hold 4c7c in the SB.
Preflop: Folds to the CO, CO raises to 125, button calls, I call in the SB (clearly often bad, but I think given both players involved are really bad post and we’re 400 BB’s deep it’s probably fine) the BB calls as well.
Flop: 7d 2d 7h
I bet 400 (lead is debatable here given texture, and I’d never do it with no flush draw out), BB folds, CO folds, the button raises to 1100. This freaks me out pretty good, because he never seems to be putting in any aggression but he’s absolutely the kind of guy who could flat eights through jacks preflop then raise the flop to see where he’s at. I call and we go to the turn.
Turn: Ts
I check and he almost immediately checks behind. Guess he has a draw.
River: 8d
I check and he instantly and very confidently fires in 2000. I think it over and fold because this guy has no idea how to bluff or value bet thin and would be scared as hell of that card if he didn’t have it. He tables Kd9d then says he won’t show anymore.

In the early goings I find a lot of small pairs and suited connectors with which to see the flop in what are almost always multi way pots. I pretty much blank off every time, or the times I hit a draw it whiffs and the opponent shows considerable strength on later streets so I give up. At some point JC Tran takes the seat on my left, and like the fucking idiot I am I decide to get in a big pot with him which I play horribly:
My stack: ~16,000, JC Tran: ~21,000, blinds 50/100, I hold As9h on the HJ.
Preflop: Folds to me on the HJ, I raise to 300, JC calls on the CO, the rest fold.
Flop: Kc 7c 5c
I normally check fold this kind of texture, but JC flats a ton pre so I fire out 500 (he also peels a ton, making this bet pretty bad.) I am leaning back in my chair and he is leaning forward, and he briefly checks his cards then calls.
Turn: Ad
I check (I should bet, there’s a ton of pair plus flush draw combinations he can have that will peel again and it’s difficult for him to get creative here) and he checks behind.
River: 6s
I think for a while and bet 1150. JC thinks for a while and raises to 4500. What the fuck? I feel pretty confident he wouldn’t play any two pair or sets like this because the board is such that he needs to fast play more. I doubt he plays small flushes like this since he knows he can get sucked out and he won’t get much value. It seems to me his range is big flushes, 66 with a club, or bluffs. I’m pretty sure he knows any pair he peeled the flop with isn’t good (except maybe a king, which I’m pretty sure he’d just call with) so I tank for a while and then decide to hero call. He quickly flips up AcQc and I start thinking about how embarrassed I’m going to be when I have to tell people about this hand. I need to get it out of my head that just because someone is a sick player that doesn’t mean they’re always pulling some kind of move on me.

A bit after the hand we go on break and I’m standing around chatting to ‘Kcannon’ and ‘Shaundeeb’. I tell them to “watch this, you’ll enjoy it” then whip out my phone and call the girl I met in the hot tub
“Hey XXXXXXXX I’m getting my ass kicked at the Venetian today, calling to see what you wanted to do about dinner later. By the way you should consider coming over here so we can bang during the next break (we haven’t had sex but she always jokes about ‘banging’ so I figure she’d appreciate the message.) Talk to you soon, bye!”

When we come back from break only five players have sat down, with the two really bad ones in the blinds. I am first to act and get involved:
My stack: ~9500, SB: ~25,000, BB: ~20,000, blinds 100/200, I hold Jc9d on what is essentially the HJ.
Preflop: I raise to 600, two folds, SB calls, BB calls.
Flop: Jd Js Td
SB checks, BB checks, I bet 1200, SB calls, BB folds.
Turn: Qs
The SB leads out 1800, I think for a bit and move in for about 8000 total and he quickly calls with TT. Aw shit.
River: 8
And with that I’ve managed to bust 400 BB’s playing pretty bad in a field of soft players after a night of being fully rested. I am pretty pissed with myself, but simply tap the table and wish everyone luck politely.

I head back to my room at the Bellagio and start doing some writing. While online the girl from the hot tub messages me and suggests we do some go-karting. I agree and she comes to pick me up from the Bellagio. We meet some friends at the track, including the Binger brothers, Mike and Nick. They make us watch a safety video and tell us not to just go full speed at all times. After that we jump into our cars and put the pedal into the floor.

About 30 seconds into the race our cars come to a stop and I look around to see what the holdup is. When I look across the track I see a car has smashed full speed into the wall and now a piece of it is lying on top of the kart and its occupant. Eventually Mike Binger gets out and is noticeably limping off the track. When the race is over Mike shows us the end result of his fight with the wall; his left arm and leg are torn up and bleeding and the bruises and cuts are several inches long. I ask him to pose for a few pictures (which I’ll hopefully have soon) and he is left moving slowly for the rest of the day.

At night a big group of us goes out to ‘McFaddens’ at the Rio, which is very much like a college party contained within a Vegas bar. There are people drinking hard and dancing everywhere, and the bartender runs around on top of the bar pouring shots down the throat of people who lean back to receive his bottle of liquor. It is just how a Thursday in Vegas is meant to be. Deeb’s brother and his friend are in town, and his brother runs around dancing with every 50 year old woman in the place. I’m drinking beer but taking it moderately easy because I don’t feel up for a big night. I tell people about the hands I played today and they confirm for me that I am indeed the worst of all time. I feel dumb around my group of friends sometimes.

Drinks at the bar naturally leads to a 2am Korean BBQ run. Everyone is fucking ecstatic, particularly when plate after plate of bulgoki is brought out. I should really go to Korea this year.

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