I am currently sitting in an internet cafe near central Nairobi. It has been one week since I've arrived now, and it has not been without incident. I have a couple hours to kill today because I'm supposed to go to a bank in the city to retrieve the credit-debit card an ATM at the mall ate yesterday. The volunteer program I've gone through had required their final payment and their online processor didn't except either of my otherwise fully functional credit cards for some inexplicable reason (probably because of my lateness, which was my fault) so I was told I needed to get cash or would have to leave the program. I went to the ATM to get out 51,000 Kenyan shillings (about ~650 USD) and after getting 20,000 out and attempting a number of other transactions the machine elected to eat my card and give me a slip of paper to present to the bank to retrieve it.

When I arrived I was originally supposed to go from Nairobi to Mombasa but they were apparently not expecting me down there and I was tired of travel so I decided to simply stay in Nairobi. I'm living in a compound with a number of other volunteers that functions a bit like a hostel. At one point there were around 15 of us, though currently there are only five left.

I've been doing my volunteer time at a school I walk to everyday. I teach social studies there; mostly dealing with Kenyan politics or physical geography. The majority of children are eager to learn, though the younger ones have a shorter attention span. At recess they run up to me, grab my hand, and ask me to join in their games of soccer and volleyball. The younger kids like to come up to the white volunteers to shake hands, stroke their skin, and pet their hair. They are friendly, outgoing, enthusiastic, and full of questions. The teachers there are mostly nice and accommodating except for that one moron who thinks it's a great idea to spike the ball into the children’s head during volleyball games, or yell at them when they fail to hit it correctly. A couple days ago one boy, an 8th grader who is an amazing kid with so much potential, hit his head and had what appeared to be a seizure on the playing field. All the teachers and volunteers gave the money we had on us so that he could be taken to the hospital and there would be money for treatment. The teacher who drove, teacher Margeret (who is a lovely woman who seems to care enormously for the children) went to pick up his mother who refused to come because she had no money and was afraid she'd have to pay something. It turns out the boy's problems stemmed from hunger; namely that he hadn't eaten in over a day because what little food there was at home he'd given to his mother and brother. Katie discretely took him and his brother to a cafe for lunch the next day; I told her I'd split the cost. I taught his class that day and played volleyball with him, he seemed much better.

The headmaster however, is Idi Amin Jr. During a parent-teacher assembly he announced to the crowd that "The Americans have promised to bring us 10 computers next year!" which was something nobody promised or even mentioned in any form during conversation. Two of the teachers that Katie (the other volunteer at the school who is a nice girl from New York) and I are friendly with have told us he shorts their pay and pockets the money. He told some other volunteers that for 5,000 shillings he would organize a brand new bus and great trip to Mt. Kilimanjaro. They paid him and rocked up to find an old, piece of shit bus that broke down on the way. He attempted to convince them to keep going to the mountain in the middle of the night, as pointless as it is dangerous, knowing if he got them there they couldn't demand a refund. The volunteers refused and demanded to go back home. When they got there they naturally wanted their money back and he refused saying that it had already all been spent. One of the girls, Shrea, flipped out on him and he eventually refunded them each 4000. Already been spent indeed. Shrea has not been back to the school to volunteer since and is now working in an orphanage.

Corruption like this is everywhere, and as far as I can tell, is the largest problem a country like Kenya will have in moving forward. The stories of this kind of angle shooting are absolutely endless and while years in the poker world have made me well prepared for picking up on bullshit many of the other volunteers are not as paranoid or suspicious of people’s motivations. The corruption is on all levels of government and daily life, and while picking up a newspaper in the US normally depresses me, picking up one here makes me suicidal. Many other volunteers have questioned the volunteer company's validity itself; as they have spent weeks of time and considerable money attempting to get placement in programs only to have the people organizing them not show up or horrendous delays in communication make their efforts pointless and infuriating.

Walking around outside at night as a white person is basically asking to get mugged. If you go somewhere at night you go by taxi and go straight from the door to the guarded entrance of wherever it is you're headed. We've also been told not to take side streets in the city during the day as again, you'll get mugged. Anyone with money lives in a compound with a large wall around it and barb wire at the top because there are so many robbers. The nice mall is walled off in this way with a dozen or so guards with batons patrolling it at all hours. I carry large denomination bills and anything else of importance in my socks. During the day you take what's known as a matatu, which is a sort of large van that functions something like a bus. Most of the rides cost roughly 50 shillings, less than a dollar US. A ride in a taxi is normally 10-15 dollars US no matter where you're going. When you blow your nose it comes out black.

I am going to Mombasa tomorrow, the second largest city in Kenya known for its beaches. The school begins its exams tomorrow and then is on break for a few weeks so they no longer have use for me. When I come back I intend to go work at an orphanage that Shrea has been volunteering at and says good things about.

I have still been recording the events and interactions of each day in my computer, which I hide deep in my suitcase and never take out in front of anyone. When I get home I'll set aside a week to go to a cafe and just write it, as I have hundreds of pages of material at this point. I don't like writing around the house for a number of reasons, for example apparently the house guard and handyman, Alan, used to steal things, though I'm fairly sure he was fired after attempting to convince the girls in the house that the organization hadn't paid him in months and he had to drop out of school after his auntie died and blah blah fuck you, you conniving thief-ass mother fucker. Either way, the head lady at the house caught wind of his con attempt on the girls and I think he's been fired within the last couple of days.

I leave Nairobi for Dubai on August 12th where I'll be staying until the 15th before moving on to Hong-Kong Macau for the APT and APPT poker tournaments. When that's all over I'll be returning to Melbourne Australia and grinding my ass off online eight hours a day, six days a week. I miss online grinding horribly and really look forward to being productive again. It's been a great trip so far, but I haven't exactly made any money and I've spent plenty plus spending a ton of time away from poker has made me truly appreciative of what an amazing opportunity and lifestyle it is. It's an odd thing to say, but I miss my job. I've spent a lot of time living an outrageous but unproductive lifestyle the last few months, and it's been fun, but I miss the days when I considered myself an ambitious and profitable poker player first and a drunken, sex crazed, weed smoking spastic second.

I busted out of the Bellagio Cup main event yesterday, which was my last event of the summer in Las Vegas. Early this morning I took a flight from Las Vegas to New York and slept the entire way there. I now sit in my hotel room in Manhatten doing some video work for pokersavvyplus.

I’ll be leaving the country on Sunday, and a couple days after that I’ll be in Mombasa Kenya for a month. After that I’ll be in Dubai for a few days and then Macau for a couple weeks playing poker before finally returning to Melbourne.

It has now become very clear that attempting to write a long blog entry every day of this trip while trying to stay current is near impossible. That’s not to say I don’t want to write it at some point; in fact I take notes at the end of each day about what occurred so I can write it in the future if I feel so inclined. However, I was much more busy in Las Vegas than I’d anticipated and I can’t imagine things will get any better with all the travel I’m about to do.

Writing this blog has had a series of both positive and negative consequences. It’s caused major damage to some personal/dating/familial relationships but conversely created valuable new ones and afforded me a bunch of fun opportunities, not to mention gotten me offers to get smoked up all around the world. I’ve learned a lot attempting this, and I’m glad that I took the shot. Not that this writing experiment is over, but it seems pretty clear for now that it’s delayed. I may be able to get stories up now and then, but the truth is I have no idea what my computer/internet access will be like and how much free time I’ll have and I don’t anticipate having serious time to do writing until I return home to Melbourne in September. If I can get stuff up I will, if not, oh well.

A lot has been made about my decision to write about drug use and sex. At the start of this trip I told myself I’d write whatever happened to me over the course of the day no matter how embarrassing, ridiculous, incriminating, or even mundane. Hell, plenty of entries have been me having a straight forward day of hanging out with friends and wasting time. I’ve talked to many other people in the industry who (understandably) don’t want to be named in any relation to my stories, particularly when it comes to smoking pot. Most serious poker players have the aspiration of legitimate sponsorship at some point, which is an entirely reasonable goal and I wish them the best of luck with it. Clearly, I have given up on that aspiration and find the idea of being unapologetically candid far more creatively satisfying. I’ve already done straight forward tournament blogging, strategy writing, and PC travel writing. I felt like this year it’d be interesting to try something new, particularly as I was in a situation with no relationship and no potential legitimate business opportunities and the only guaranteed draw back would be some occasional internet hate. I guess I just find the idea of writing tournament report after tournament report with no color boring. If you feel that such extracurricular activities don’t belong in a poker blog I would simply recommend reading someone else’s, because the content of mine will not be changing. Some have warned that there may be unforeseen long term consequences, and they may be right, but I’ll deal with those as they come.

So best of luck to everyone I got to know better this summer, and to those I didn’t get to say goodbye to. Hanging out with you all made it truly memorable for me and I hope we’ll get to do it again soon, even if soon means a year in my terms. If not, well then I’m sure we’ll see each other on the internet at some point, because these days there’s no such thing as truly going AWOL.

As anyone who has ever read this blog before knows, I can be a reckless person. The other day’s decision to write and post the Devilfish story was a continuation of that reckless streak, and upon being more sober and reflecting upon my writing of that story it’s a decision I regret. Seeing as I was not there for the events described in the story and was relating them as told by another there was no way to vouch for the validity or accuracy of what was described, and so my writing it was clearly irresponsible.

I spoke to Devilfish today and as was to be expected, he was not pleased with me. He made it clear in no uncertain terms that not only was the story inaccurate, but that he has never paid a woman for sex before and that if you apply logic to the situation then the story does not add up at all. Points that he made include that why would he bother inviting a girl back to the room and potentially hanging around for the month if he has another coming the very next day, and why would he risk giving away his room key to a woman he barely knows when he no doubt keeps a considerable amount of cash present in the room.

I can say for certain that from now on anything that shows up in this blog in terms of a story will be something I was there first hand to witness and I will be deleting the one in question. My time can be better spent writing some constructive and productive.

June 8th, Las Vegas: I wake up in the Vegas house a little before 11am. I jump in the shower then throw on a suit and eat breakfast. A number of guys in the house are playing the $2,500 six max event today and we car pool over to the Rio once everyone is ready.

This year at the WSOP the registration booth has been very efficient and today is no different. It is a far cry from two and three years ago when showing up 15 minutes before an event started was a death sentence to your first hour of play because they were trying to get everyone bought in at just a few windows in the Amazon room. Things really started turning around last year and have continued to improve through to this one and so far this year I have yet to wait more than maybe 10 to 15 minutes in line to get into a tournament.

I arrive at my table and find mostly unknowns though one familiar looking face. I glance around the room and realize that there are quite a few tables with a high amount of good players, though I seem fortunate enough to not have a table packed with them. We start play with 7,500 in chips and 25/50 blinds. I am involved in a decent sized pot in one of the first few orbits:
Effective stacks: ~7,500, blinds 25/50, I hold KcKs in the SB.
Preflop: UTG raises to 150, HJ calls, folds to me in the SB, I reraise to 600, BB folds, UTG folds, HJ calls. HJ is a fairly loose guy who I also attempt a bluff on a previous hand in a fairly hopeless way.
Flop: Ac 8c 6c
I check, HJ bets 600, I call.
Turn: 7c
I check, HJ bets 800, I call.
River: 3c
I check (something I never do and really don’t like looking at it now even though I thought he was kind of spewy) and he checks behind. I table the nut flush and take the pot.

My stack drains very slowly over the next few levels. For a tournament that lends itself to deep stacked heads up situations and multi level thinking I find myself in zero thinking situations. Most of the hands I get into have me raising preflop then getting a good board to fire a C-bet on but that misses me, then getting called or raised and having to give up the pot. Not too long into the day I get moved tables and find myself at a much tougher table with online player ‘Threatnasty’ and live pro Nam Le on my direct left. I’m soon in a hand against Threat:
My stack: 6475, Threat: ~10,000, blinds 100/200, I hold TsTh in the SB five handed.
Preflop: UTG folds, CO raises to 600, Threat reraises to 1650 on the button, I shove for 6475 in the SB, BB folds, UTG folds, Threat tanks for a while then elects to fold.

Again after the hand I find my stack dwindling hand after hand. My opens get three bet in situations where I have to fold and almost all of the hands where I get to the flop go the other way. By the time I get involved in a major pot again I’ve lost nearly 2000 in chips in just small pots:
My stack: 4675, CO: ~9,000, blinds 100/200 with 25 ante, I hold AKo in the BB five handed.
Preflop: UTG raises to 525, CO reraises to 1500, button folds, SB folds, I shove for 4675, UTG folds, CO surprisingly folds.

Just an orbit later I find myself involved again, this time against Nam Le:
My stack: 6,800, Nam: ~6,150, blinds 100/200 with a 25 ante, I hold AQo on the button.
Preflop: Folds to me on the button, I raise to 550, Nam throws all his yellow ‘1000’ chips into the pot, practically putting him all in, the BB folds, I shove, Nam obviously calls and then much to my relief tables AcJc.
Flop: A J 3 rainbow
Ah crap.
Turn: 7
River: 2

I am left with only about 600 chips and a couple hands later I toss it in the pot when I find a king and lose the hand to bust out. I wish everyone luck then walk away from the table and wander through the halls of the Rio. I run into ‘Charder30’ and ‘AvrilSharapova’ and we decide since we’re all bust we might as well get something to eat.

Charder drives us over to a well regarded Thai restaurant in the area. We spend dinner discussing what happened in our six max tournament and telling about our various adventures during the series. None of us have done particularly well in the tournaments yet though they’re both very talented so that will likely change for the two of them. After the meal Charder drives me home and drops me off.

I set up my laptop in the living room and spend the next few hours writing. At some point Watts comes into the room and I suggest we go to the gym nearby and get a membership. He drives us over to the fitness center down the street from us and we’re referred to a young dude there who will go through the sign up process with us. We sit down at the desk and start filling out the paperwork. I start talking to him
“How’s your day going dude?” I ask.
“Honestly man, I’m pretty much having the absolute worst day of my life.”
“Seriously?” says Watts.
“I’m sorry to hear that, what happened?” I pry
“Well first I found out from my bank that someone stole my identity and got access to all my information.”
“Ah shit.”
“And then that they managed to completely drain my bank account; took everything I had. I just moved here a few months ago and not sure what I’m going to do about rent now.”
Watts and I are both at a lack for comforting words, mostly muttering condolences.
“And then the girl I had been seeing for the last few months calls me up and ends it.”
“Jesus dude you run so bad!”
“Yea, it’s not been a good one.”
I lean in slightly and lower my voice “That really is one of the worst days I’ve ever heard dude. After I work out I’m gonna go home and blaze and it sounds like that’s something you could use so if it’s your scene, the invitation is open.”
He glances around and states loudly “Nah I don’t do that stuff” then leans in and in a hushed voice says “But between you and me I totally do. I really appreciate the offer, but I don’t have any money for that sort of thing.”
“Oh hell no dude fuck that shit, this is gratis. Consider it some karma coming around.”
“Thanks man.”
“No problem. I’m gonna work out for about 90 minutes or something, when you get out of here?”
“Ten” he says. I look at the clock; it’s nearly midnight. Christ this guy’s day sucks.
“Alright well I’ll let you know when I’m finished and bailing out.”
“Ya know thanks for the offer, but I think I’m gonna get out of here soon and probably just go home and sleep. I just want this day to be over. Some other time.”
“Cool man, better luck tomorrow.”

Watts and I hit the weight room for the next hour and a half and unleash our frustration over failing at the WSOP so much on our bodies. When we’re finished we walk downstairs and find the guy who was having the worst day after has gone home; hopefully things look up for him tomorrow. Does offering people drugs to make their day better count as charity?

June 7th, Los Angeles: I wake up around 10am in the hotel bed next to Andrew. I wasn’t even close to drunk last night but I still feel less than stellar. I lie in bed for a moment and try to collect myself for a moment; I need to get out of this city.

I take a shower and get dressed. I am wearing the same suit and shirt as last night, but I have lost the tie. Andrew wakes up and goes into the bathroom to do the same. I tell him I’m going to go down to the lobby and book and flight.

Down in the lobby I run into a number of guys from last night who tell me about how Ron Jeremy ended up in their room early morning and whipped out his cock in the bathroom to show the girls that were hanging with them. I go over to the one of the computers by the front desk and look up flights to Vegas. I find one leaving in a couple hours and debate whether I can make it. A few of the other guys say they are just about to go to the airport so I book it.

Four of us take a cab to the airport and discuss how our various nights turned out. Andrew and I lament our failure to get into the after party because it sounds like it was absurdly epic, especially since it got broken up by the police. We roulette for the cab ride; I do not lose.

At the airport I say goodbye to Andrew and tell him he should really come visit me in Vegas. He says he’ll consider it. I go through security and sit down in the terminal. I get a text from the girls I met in front of Caesar’s yesterday asking if I’m back in Vegas yet. I tell them I’ll be there in 90 minutes. They say they’re hanging at the pool at the Riviera and I should join them. I say I’ll see them there soon.

The flight back to Las Vegas is uneventful. When we arrive I get off the plane and walk straight to the taxi line. There is no wait; Vegas was not like this in previous years. In the cab I tell the driver to take me to Fashion Show Mall so I can buy a swim suit. In the mall I find the most heterosexual looking swimsuit I can then take it to the counter and flirt with the woman at the cashier.

I take a cab to the hotel. I walk over to the pool then find the nearest bathroom on the casino floor. I go into a bathroom stall, change into my swimming suit, and throw the rest of my clothes in the bag they gave me at the mall. I walk through the casino floor in my shorts while holding my two bags then walk out into the pool and the hot sun of the Vegas desert. I glance around and see the girls waving to me. I walk over and say “Hi girls, you’re both looking quite nice today” and jump down in the recliner they’ve left open for me between the two of them. Gina looks very attractive in her bikini; she is quite tan.

I spend a decent amount of time talking to both girls and getting to know them. Luckily both have an excellent sense of humor. The friend remarks that she would like to know where some people across the pool were getting their giant martinis so I quickly go ask them. Apparently they are available within the casino. We immediately leave our recliners and walk through the casino in our bathing suits to find where they are vended. The friend kindly buys us all massive martinis with as many extra shots allowed. I have not eaten today.

We return to the pool and have a race to see who can finish their martini first. God there is so much tequila at the bottom. I go in the pool alone with Gina and flirt with her while the friend is talking to some loud, drunken Irish guys. I tell Gina I badly will need to get food and talk her into Korean BBQ since it is only a block away and everyone loves that shit. We get out of the pool, dry off, and then walk back to the hotel room.

Up in the room we sit down on the same bed. The friend goes into the bathroom to get changed
“Ah well she’s in the bathroom now then” I remark then lean in and start kissing Gina. She pulls me down into the bed and starts making out with me hard. Eventually the friend comes back out and I go in to get changed as well. When I’m finished we take the elevator down to the lobby and walk out the casino. She is holding my hand.

I severely over order at the restaurant, but there are worse problems to be had in a Korean BBQ joint. The friend says she’s going out clubbing tonight, probably to The Bank. Gina says she’s not sure she wants to go out yet. Please God no clubbing.

We walk back to the hotel after dinner. Once back in the room again the friend goes into the bathroom, this time to shower and get ready to go out, and Gina and I are on each other instantly. She is moving way faster than me and starts ripping to get both of our bottoms off. She asks about a condom; there is one in my wallet. We feverishly have sex on the bed while the friend is a few meters away in the bathroom. After quite a while the friend opens the door a crack and calls out “Is it safe to come out!?”
I pull out and we each grab a blanket to wrap around ourselves. The friend steps into the hotel room
“Uh heeeeey there, how was the shower?” I ask
“…It wasn’t as much fun as you two had.”
“Yea probably not…we’ll uhh, we’ll go get a shower.”

We continue having sex in the shower, which I suppose always lends itself to logistical creativity. Afterward we step out and start drying each other off. I pick up her legs and set her on the sink and keep going. We destroy the entire sink; almost everything is knocked down and there is a constant clatter of noise mixed with the moaning. This goes on for a while until we decide to check in on the friend who is heading out. I glance around the room then say “I apologize for destroying your bathroom, though honestly it was worth it.” We wrap some towels around ourselves and go back into the hotel room then crawl into the bed. The friend says she’s heading out to the club and we say we might meet her. When she exits we go back at it on the bed for quite a lot of time until I finish. We lay there exhausted for a few minutes, then start talking about music, which prompts her to fire up her laptop and play a number of bands we agree on. She has really good taste in music, which appears to very much be her passion. While talking we debate our options for the evening and both agree we’d like to see The Hangover over at Palms.

We get dressed and take a cab over to Palms. For anyone who hasn’t seen the movie; go do so immediately. It is hilarious and we are both dying from pretty much start to finish. Getting to enjoy it in Vegas is particularly fitting. After the film I ask her if she wants to come back to the house and hang out for a bit instead of the club scene and she agrees. Thank you God.

I grab us a cab in front of the hotel and discuss drug use during the ride. She used to be a big stoner and does not give a fuck if I get blazed, and is considering joining me. Sweet. At the house we can’t decide where to hang out, but she’d mentioned that she’s kind of a hippie at heart so I suggest I go get a blanket and some pillows and lay them down outside. She likes the idea a lot. I bring out the computer for music, strawberries for food, vitamin water to drink and then go inside and quickly roll a joint. I lit it up outside and she elects to join me. While smoking she tells me how she used to deal pot in high school and tried a number of different drugs. I ask her to describe her experiences with all of them (not that I’m considering trying more, but I love drug stories.) When we cash the joint I give her a water then start feeding her the strawberries which leads to making out with strawberries in our mouths. This is disrupted when Sirwatts and SEABEAST come home so I call them outside and introduce everyone. They can tell by the look I give them that some shit is about to go down and quickly excuse themselves to bed. I go back to kissing Gina and again things progress very quickly. Minutes later we are having sex on the blanket on the grass and I am curious what Watts will say to me tomorrow if he happens to glance out his window. My knees are getting smashed into the ground but I really don’t care. After half an hour or so it hurts badly enough that I ask to move things inside.

As we’re getting dressed her friend calls and says that she’s accidentally locked herself out of the room and security won’t let her in. Gina tells her that she’ll call a cab and come back for her. We look up a cab company and the dispatch tells her it will be about 20 minutes to get one to the house. When she hangs up she immediately wants to go into the bedroom. It takes me a few minutes to even get into it because I am fucking exhausted. Eventually I return to life and we keep having sex on the bed until the cab company calls while I am mid thrust. I decide I might as well keep going while she’s talking to the driver. When she hangs up she scrambles to get her clothes on though I bother only with underwear. I walk her to the door, open it for her, kiss her hard, and tell her to look me up next time she’s in Vegas since her flight is in the morning.

Inside the house I return to the kitchen and look for some healthy munchies. There is vitamin D milk in the fridge. I suppose I should sleep pretty soon; I have an event tomorrow.