
For the fourth or fifth the straight day I wake up at 9am. This makes little sense, since I’m going to sleep around 2 or 3am and getting exercise during the day. Still, every morning I wake up at 9am, run to the restroom, and when I try to fall back asleep lie awake feeling both exhausted yet wired. Eventually I get up, browse the forums for a while, then go on a run to wake my blood up. After the run I normally feel much better but by the middle of the day I inevitably begin feeling tired, though I’ve often been to busy to pay it any serious attention. Either way, today there is little harm, though waking Bondgirl up proves to be a hassle and we get to the tournament twenty minutes late. Luckily I was smart enough to buy in days ahead of time so I simply rock up to my seat, count out the slightly depleted 20,000 start bank and say hello to those I know on the table, including well known Australian Pokerstars sponsored pro Eric Assadourian across the table. The blinds start at 50/100 with 45 minute levels, and there’s nothing more fun than deep stack poker with a slow structure than live tournament donks. It’s not long before pulling my own personal Hellmuth starts paying off:
I hold KcQc in MP2. Stacks effectively ~20k.
Preflop: EP limps, folds to me in MP2, I raise to 400, folds to SB, SB calls, BB folds, limper calls.
Flop: K 7 6 rainbow
Both players check to me. I fire out 800, the SB folds, and the limper calls.
Turn: 6
Nice card. Reduces both the chances of a set and two pair that beats me. EP quickly checks and I fire out 2000. He quickly calls.
River: J
Not really my favorite card. Still, it’s live poker and a value bet here is absolutely mandatory in a weak tournament. EP checks, I bet 3000, EP quickly calls and I table KQ for the winner.
Only a few hands later I get involved again. I hold 66 UTG when the following occurs.
Preflop: I raise to 300, folds to the button who calls, SB calls, BB folds.
Flop: J 6 3 rainbow
The SB here is the same player who paid off my earlier KQ hand and seems like a serious station. Still on a flop this uncoordinated I don’t think I can bet too large and hope to get action. Both players check to me and I fire out a weak 500. The button folds and the SB check min raises me to 1000. I call.
Turn: 8d, putting a flush draw out.
SB fires 1000 and after a little bit of thought I make it 4000, hoping he makes a stack sized mistake. He quickly calls.
River: Ad
Blegh, that card’s such an action killer unless he has something like AJ. The SB checks. I think about my bet size and fire 7500 (probably too much in live poker.) The SB briefly thinks then folds.
For the rest of the table I play a few small pots and win with C bets but little interesting happens. My table is absolutely spewtastic and I’m watching one player in particular, the gentleman occupying seat 1, play all over the place. I’ve also raised his blind a number of times, one of which with ATo that he 3 bets after swearing a bit and I fold. It’s not long until we’re involved again:
I hold AdAc in the SB. Blinds are now up to 100/200 with no ante.
Preflop: Folds to seat 1 in MP1 who limps, folds to HJ who limps, I raise to 1000, BB folds, MP1 swears a little then calls, HJ folds.
Flop: 8h 6h 2c
I’ll take it. I fire out 2000. MP1 announces call and slides 1000 into the pot. The dealer burns and turns.
Turn: 5c
The dealer looks over and sees MP1 has only put 1000 in and tells him he owes more. He protests and gives some entirely bullshit reason. I begin fantasizing about online poker while the two bicker for a few moments. Eventually MP1 concedes that he indeed announced ‘call’ and throws in another 1000. The turn isn’t my favorite card, but this guy is so stationy it’s still a clear bet. I fire 3000, he quickly calls.
River: 5d
Boo yah. I fucking love that card. I stare at it for a moment, go to my stack, then fire out 6500.
”How much is that?” asks MP1. The dealer begins counting it out.
“It’s 6500” I calmly reply.
“Ok, I call you.”
I turn over my AA and resist as hard as I can from yelling “I GOT THE NIZZLES SON!”
MP1 looks at it then quickly turns over his 4h5h. What. The. Fuck. Holy God, that’s the biggest nit roll of my entire life. The table begins cracking up about his river flat call and I begin recounting my chips. I’m constantly counting my chips in live poker. Only a few rounds later and I find a spot to get some back.
100/200 with 25 ante. My stack ~18k. The others somewhere around the low 20’s. I hold 33 on the CO
Preflop: UTG folds, UTG+1 raises to 700, folds to MP2, MP2 calls, folds to me, I call, the rest fold.
Flop: 7 3 2 rainbow
Wow I’m so good at poker. UTG+1 fires 1100, MP2 calls and I think about what I want to do. The problem here is I think UTG+1 is the type of player to fire over cards into two players, and if I raise MP2 he’s the type to believe me. I decide to flat.
Turn: 4 (full rainbow)
UTG+1 checks, now MP2 fires 3050. I think it over for a while, realize I can’t reraise any size without looking huge, and the board is too coordinated to call, so I stack up my chips and move in. UTG+1 folds, and MP2 folds after thinking for a moment.
Between the major hands Eric Assadourian and I seem to be involved in every single pot together. Every time he raises I find a hand to flat with. Every time I raise he’s in the BB and Eric hates folding his BB. We trade small jabs back and forth, and eventually Eric pulls a fairly large check raise bluff on me, which I lay down top pair top kicker on a very coordinated board to on the turn. Another player of interest on the table is two on my left, a young guy who is friends with the my horse Joel and seems competent but a bit too obvious in what he’s trying to accomplish. I soon find a spot to take advantage of this:
Blinds 100/200 with 25 ante. I hold 7h5h UTG+3 with about ~21k. The table is playing really loose passive.
Preflop: UTG raises to 600, folds to me, I call(this can only be profitable on very weak/loose tables), 1 fold, the young guy calls, four others call.
Flop: Th 3d 2h
It checks to me, I check, The kid fires 1100, it quickly folds back to me and I call. I think his bet size is a T feeling out where he is or a big hand, but given the certain uncertainty of his body language and face, I think it’s more likely an unsure T.
Turn: Js
I go for my chips and lead out 3200. The kid visibly shows his frustration, talks to himself about perhaps having the best hand but not wanting to call a river bet, then folds.
With the antes in play I open things up a little bit but have long passed the point of going crazy aggressively in live play. I now mostly isolate limpers with decent or connecting hands, or simply open very often on the HJ or later if everyone behind is very weak. Everyone behind me is weak. I’m often stealing the kids blind without incident when the following hand comes up:
Blinds 150/300 with 25 ante. I hold 5c6s on the button. My stack: ~23k. Kid also ~23k.
Preflop: Folds to me, I raise to 800, SB folds, kid calls in the BB.
Flop: Ks 7d 2d
The kid checks and I fire 1200, he thinks it over then calls.
Turn: 4s
The kid thinks about it, then leads out 3200. Something feels off here, if he has a big king like AK he would reraise me preflop. If he has something like KQ or KJ I think he mostly check raises me on the flop. Still, I don’t even think he can call with KJ here. After only a few seconds I announce all in. The kids shoulders sink, he looks at me, exhales, then folds.
I play small ball for the rest of the 150/300 level and watch the player in seat one make one of the most insane bet/calls of a shove with A high I’ve ever seen (and ended up being ahead of a flush draw somehow.) A few hands later Eric Assadourian successfully bluffs him on the river and shows his hand with pride.
“So we just saw THAT hand and now you bluff him?!” I blurt
The table erupts in laughter, even seat 1 thinks this is extremely amusing.
“I just can’t help myself” quips Eric.
Seat 1, Eric and I seem to be going to a three way flop over and over. Any time Eric raises and I flat seat 1 comes along saying “I want to keep playing with my two best friends!” At one point I raise AJss and both Eric and Seat 1 call me. The flop comes K 7 5 rainbow and I decide to C bet after both check. Seat 1 check min raises me, Eric folds, and I fold. Seat 1 flips up his 98o with glee and rakes in the pot laughing.
“Man you’re a tough one to get a read on. You raise 9 high but only call with trips. I’m never gonna figure you out.” Seat 1 finds this all very amusing. It’s actually one of the most fun live tables I’ve ever been on with everyone joking back and forth.
The blinds go up to 200/400 and I soon find myself in another hand with the young kid on my left.
My stack: ~31k, his stack: ~15k. Blinds 200/400 with 50 ante. I hold JsJd in MP1.
Preflop: Folds to me, I raise to 1100, 1 fold, kid calls, the rest fold.
Flop: Q 5 6 rainbow
I check and the kid bets 1300. I call
Turn: 2, now full rainbow.
I check and the kid thinks about, then fires 3100. I really feel like after my putting so much pressure on him, he’s waiting to bluff me. I call again considering seriously calling a river shove.
River: 4
I check and the kid checks back, then tables As9s. The jacks are way good.
Meanwhile seat 1 is continually playing back at Eric and I. Eric opens an absolute ton of pots, and what position he raises in is close to irrelevant concerning his hand range. It makes for an interesting table dynamic. My friend Alex has recently been moved to the table between Eric and I. With that image in mind the following hand comes up:
My stack: ~36k. Eric: ~26k. Alex: ~22k. Seat 1: ~50k I hold ATo on the HJ.
Preflop: Eric raises to 1000 UTG, folds to Alex in MP1 who calls, folds to me on the HJ and I call, folds to seat 1 in the SB who calls, BB calls.
Flop: 5 2 2 rainbow
The whole table checks around.
Turn: Td (putting flush draw out)
Seat 1 now leads out 2000, it folds to Alex who just calls, and therefore never has me beat. I decide to induce Seat 1 to try something spewy and bluffy by raising him small as he did to me. I make it 5500. He instantly calls and Alex folds.
River: 9h
Seat 1 instantly leads out 6500. I’m seriously considering min raising for value but the 9 isn’t my absolute favorite card and it occurs to me he actually could have a 2. I elect to just call (which still in my mind is debatable) and he taps the table, then announces “You’re way good before ever seeing my hand.” I show the AT and drag the pot while seat 1 mucks.
Not long after a spot comes up against Eric. Up to this point, I hadn’t made a single pre flop 3 bet our entire time on the table.
My stack: ~55k. Eric: ~20k. Blinds 200/400 with 50 ante. I hold Ad5d on the button.
Preflop: Folds to Eric in MP1, Eric raises to 1100, folds to me on the button, I 3 bet to 3100, folds to Eric, Eric calls.
Flop: 8h 5c 4d
Eric checks. I check back.
Turn: 2d
Bingo bang bongo Vince, that’s my fucking dream card. Eric checks and I think it over before betting 4200. “all in” he announces and INSTA call. Eric does not look pleased, and when I roll over my hand reels in disgust
“You’ve got me in terrible shape mate” he says, the rolls over his 9d7d.
River: 6d
Eric exits the table, which is a little disappointing since he’s the most fun to talk to.
With Eric gone there’s nobody to stop me from playing seat 1 heads up, and I do my best to get involved with him as often as possible. The player on my immediate right is a guy named Lou I used to play a lot of limit with. He’s a pretty tight and straight forward player, but also not clueless or anything. The following comes up against him:
My stack: ~75k. Lou: 35k. Blinds 300/600 with 75. I hold AsQc in the BB.
Preflop: Folds to Lou in the SB who makes it 3000. His normal raise has been a 4X, and while the 5X throws me off a little bit I’m still not folding. For what it’s worth, 3 betting a player like Lou here intending to get it in would be a massive mistake (and against most live players.)
Flop: 4c 6c 4s
Lou thinks it over then fires 5000. I call.
Turn: 8d
Lou checks. I check back.
River: 2s
Lou checks again, I check. Lou tables QJo and my AQ rakes it.
A new player is moved to the table with medium sized stack who looks to be about 30 and has a penchant for open limping. I have a moderately aggressive image when the following hand comes up:
My stack: ~92k. MP2’s stack: ~40k Blinds 400/800 with 100 ante. I hold 85o on the button.
Preflop: Folds to MP2, MP2 limps, folds to me on the button, I raise to 2500, the blinds fold, and MP2 elects to call.
Flop: Q J 6 rainbow.
MP2 checks. I really don’t like betting this texture against a players limp/call range since it hits so many hands that do, though perhaps in live poker I should be C betting half pot anyway. This time I elect to check back.
Turn: 4
I pick up a gut shot. MP2 thinks it over, then fires 1200. What the hell is this? I’m pretty sure MP2 isn’t sure of his hand, but in my experience live players have this weird thing where if you didn’t bet the flop after raising pre and raise the turn they never believe you. I decide to call intending to value bet a 7, and bluff a T, K or A unless he leads into me very strong.
River: T
MP2 looks concerned and checks. I think briefly before firing 5000. MP2 looks disgusted, sighs, but then tosses out the 5000 to call and asks “You got AK?”
“Nice call, I missed my draw.”
MP2 tables his Jd9d with pride and rakes the pot. Shit, first misstep of the day.
A round later the blinds are still 400/800. On my right is a guy named Nick I’ve played in numerous tournaments and knows me to be a successful player. We’ve been chatting and joking, and for the most part I haven’t been involved with him at all. He’s moderately aggressive, and certainly more aggressive than your average live player. The following comes up:
My stack: ~85k. Nick: ~50k. Seat 1:12,400. I hold QsTs on the CO. Nick is MP2.
Preflop: Folds to Nick, Nick raises to 3000 (with it being normal for him to go over 3X), it folds to me and I make it 8500 (my second 3 bet of the day), it folds to Seat 1 in the BB who is down to 12k after spewing off something like 50 or 60k with top pair into a set. Seat 1 quickly shoves and Nick folds. For only a few thousand more I of course call and find myself in terrible shape against Seat 1’s AQo. The flop comes Axx and with a rag on the turn the deal is sealed. My dirty 3 betting light secret is out.
Less than a round later the following hand comes up against Nick with that previous hand as the history.
My stack: ~73k. Nick: ~52k. I hold AQ offsuit in the SB. Blinds 400/800 100.
Preflop: Folds to Nick on the CO who opens to 2200. The button folds and I think it over. I decide to 3 bet and I’m pretty sure Nick will make some kind of play at me given the history. I 3 bet to 7000. The BB folds and Nick briefly thinks before making it 15,000. Just as I thought, normally the tiny raise would concern me but this time I’m expecting it. I grab my entire stack of grey 1000’s and yellow 5000’s and slide them into the middle. Nick instantly calls and tables AA. I make such sick reads. The board blanks out and I find myself sitting with something around 21,000 again. Fuck it, let’s do it all over again.
The very next hand Lou opens to 4000 on the CO (his standard raise) and I jam AJo on the button. Lou folds and I pick up another 6000ish. The very next hand goes down as follows:
My stack: ~27k. Seat 1 is the BB with about ~30k. The two players behind me are total nits. I hold 65o on the CO.
Preflop: Folds to me on the CO, I raise to 2100, the button folds, the SB calls, and Seat 1 calls in the big of course.
Flop: 6s 5h 2s
Perfect. This is just the kind of flop where Seat 1 will do something psycho and double me. All I need is for the SB not to get involved. The SB checks, BB checks, and I bet out 4400. The SB stares at me for a while then folds, and Seat 1 instantly goes all in. I INSTA call and table 76o like the stone cold nuts it is. Somehow, Seat 1 actually turns over a real hand, 5s4s. I am so fucked.
Turn: Kh
River: 8c
Wow. Wowowowowowowowow. I mean seriously, how do I dodge all that? (Running it through Pokerstove tells me I’m the one who actually sucked out, but the way he was playing I’m 100% sure that’s the easiest call in the world.)
Suddenly I find myself with 60,000 again and I’m joking with the whole table about what a calling station spew psycho I am. I whip out my pen and flick it around the air rambling along the lines of “my stack has more zig zags than the stock market. Watch this shit go.”
The blinds go up to 500/1000 and with my image completely ruined I stay cool for a while. The following comes up against Nick and the guy who caught me bluffing earlier:
My stack: ~60k. Nick: ~100k. Limper: ~50k. I hold 98o in the BB.
Preflop: Folds to the HJ who limps, CO folds, Nick limps the button, SB folds, I check.
Flop: Q T 6 rainbow
Sweet, double belly buster. They’ll never see this coming. Still, I feel like I’m way too deep to bet/3 bet all in against either of these guys given what they’re raising range will be, so I check. HJ fires 1000, Nick calls, and I call.
Turn: Ac
I glance back at my hand. Hmm, it would appear I don’t have 98o. I have 87o. Christ, I need to get some sleep. Well, I guess I called the flop with a gutshot, time to check fold. I check, but both check behind.
River: 9d
L. O. L. And with my image nobody’s going to believe this. I instantly fire out 5500. The limper eyes me suspicious and folds. Nick does the same and elects to call.
“I apparently have the second nuts, little did I know.”
I explain that I misread my hand and Nick laughs at me.
Not long after another guy I used to play limit with all the time, Johnny D, gets moved across the table. A moment later we’re in a pot together:
My stack: ~70k Johnny D: ~42k Blinds 500/1000. I hold 44 on the button.
Preflop: Johnny D limps UTG, folds to me on the button, I limp, the SB folds, the BB checks.
Flop: 8 4 2 rainbow
Yea I’m so good at poker. Soooooo good. The BB checks and Johnny bets 3000. I call and the BB folds.
Turn: J, putting a diamond draw out.
Johnny checks and I think it over, then bet 6600. Johnny announces all in and instantly call. Johnny flips up KK and finds himself in terrible shape.
River: Ad
I stack up a massive pot and find myself well above what I had even before I spewed my AQ straight into AA. Swongs, they are one thing.
I lose a smallish pot when I get check min raised with an open ended draw and fold when the turn pairs the board and the player leads the turn. Not long after that I’m moved tables and find myself sitting down about 95,000. My new table looks a bit younger and more aggressive than my previous one, though the guy who caught me bluffing and considers me spewy has also been moved two on my right. After opening one pot and not getting fought with I soon find myself in a big one:
My stack: ~95k. Button: ~75k. SB: ~50k. I hold AKo in MP1. Blinds 600/1200 with 200 ante.
Preflop: Folds to me. I raise to 3500, folds to button calls, the SB looks down at me, then makes it 12,000. The BB folds and it’s back to me. I ask him to move his arm so I can see his stack. It looks like about 50k. He’s pretty young looking (low 20’s perhaps) and I decide he’s young enough that this can’t be a spew. I shove. The button folds and the SB briefly thinks before calling with QQ. I flip over my AK and scan the table to see how many eyes roll at me. It’s a few. I love live poker.
Flop: A T 6
Sweet.
Turn: 9
River: 7
I get slid a massive pot. Dennis Huntley is sitting two on my left (of TV table with Gobboboy fame) and he has the most hilarious bogan-Australian accent ever.
“Nooice wecome teh tha table maaaate!” he tells me.
“Nice welcome indeed. Dennis right? We played in the 1k rebuys yea?”
It’s not long before Dennis is asking me if I want a free $200 on Poker Time.
One round later I find myself in yet another big pot.
My stack: ~150k. HJ: ~60k. Button: ~80k. SB: ~60k. I hold AsAc UTG. Blinds 600/1200 with 200 ante.
Preflop: I raise to 3500, folds to HJ, HJ calls, CO folds, Button calls, SB calls. God will you fucking nits just 3 bet me one time.
Flop: 3c 9s Ts
Gross. I stare at the board completely lost how to play this spot after the SB checks. I just can’t see how betting can be good here. I check. The HJ bets out 12,000. The button and the SB both fold. I call.
Turn: Qc
That certainly isn’t my favorite card. I check again. The HJ thinks, then bets 15,000. Being so new to the table I have no idea how he plays, but with my hand so underepped I just can’t see folding yet. I call.
River: 2s
I stare at it for a while, stare at him, then check. He checks back and says “you must win.” I show my AA. “Nice hand, just a pair of 3’s.”
It’s only one more round until I find myself in another big situation:
My stack: ~180k. SB: ~52k. Dennis: ~30k. CO: ~90k. I hold JdJh in the BB.
Preflop: Folds to Dennis in EP who limps for 1200, folds to CO who limps, the button folds and the SB makes it 9,500. The SB is the player who caught me bluffing earlier and seems to think I 3 bet only as a spew. I make it 30,200. Dennis thinks it over a little bit and folds, as does the CO. The SB moves in for his last 20k and I of course call. He flips up AK and I’m off to the races again.
Flop: 8 7 T
Sexy.
Turn: 6
River: 2
Again I win a massive coin flip. The board’s come 3 clubs and Dennis begins rambling about his fold with Ac6c and how he really thought about putting it in. My stack climbs to a massive ~240k.
That hand proves to me the last large action of the night. With players getting tired and things winding down I try to play aggressive in late position to attack the scared players with mixed success. One player on my right is playing very aggressive and I flat his LP raise in the BB with KTo, then check raise his 7000 bet to 18000 on a Q52 flop. He calls and when the turn brings a Q his eyes light up like the 4th of July. I check fold. At the end of the day we bag up our chips and my final count comes to 216,500, good for the chip lead of the heat.
I find my friends and we head out to Chinese for dinner. I sit in a comatose state in the table slowly eating my food and looking around with the world in slow motion. In a state of lack of sleep the world feels roughly 75% real. Shadows seems to move awkwardly, and you hear people a little bit different, though you can’t say quite how. I’m forced to drink water with dinner since I’m on a diet and watch on in envy as everyone downs their beers. We go out to a club afterwards where I sip water while my friends get drunk around me. All responsibility and no booze makes Bond a dull boy. I doze off at 3am. I wake up at 9am. God damn it.