If there’s one event I really don’t care to play during my stay in Vegas for the summer, it’s a $1500 buy in WSOP event. The fields are absurdly huge which a bitch for numerous reasons. The buy in is the lowest and least interesting of all the tournaments. The early structure more or less sucks (60 BB starting stack) so while your surrounded by absolutely god awful players you don’t really have a lot of room to maneuver with them like you could at say, the Venetian. Either way, I am under strict Timex orders to play all NL/PL holdem events at the WSOP and he’s got a point, the fields are about as much sick +EV as probably any tournament in the world.

Yet again the night previous to the event I have difficulty sleeping. I decided not to take a melatonin as I had only allowed myself about an 8 hour slot of time to sleep and was worried that if I stayed up a bit past that the melatonin may not have fully worn off. BIG mistake. I lied around in bed for a couple hours and read 2p2 until almost 6am, my brain totally incapable of switching to off mode for as far as I can tell, no real reason.

When I jolt awake at 11:40am I’m actually feeling not bad for such little sleep, plus I have the advantage that my table is almost practically right downstairs, as they have set a bunch of extra tables out in the hall in front of Buzios seafood restaurant because of the massive fields for these tournaments. My table appears to be all recreational players and a couple wanna-be pros, with more or less no legitimate threats.

At this point the first couple hours are kind of a blur to me and I don’t think anything interesting happened. I know I moved all in after a guy made a 4X raise and there were two or 3 callers holding AK and everyone folded at 50/100. By the first break I am sitting with 5.5k and get moved tables shortly afterwards.

At my new table I witness one of the most hilarious mind boggling hands of the WSOP so far. The action goes down as follows at 100/200 blinds.

Preflop: UTG limps, UTG+1 (wearing MJ cap, I shall call him MJ from now on) calls for 200, UTG+2 (Euro pro Chris Bigler) calls, I call with KQo, folds to SB who completes, BB checks.

Flop: 7h 5h 4d
SB checks, BB bets 650, UTG folds, MJ calls, Bigler calls, I fold.
Turn: 7c
BB checks, MJ checks, Bigler bets 1500, BB folds, MJ considers things then calls.
River: Td
MJ checks, Bigler moves all in for 1900. Now MJ tanks forever. He looks at his cards. Counts his chips (he has like, 1800 I think?) looks like he’s gonna fold, tanks some more, looks back at his chips. Then he puts his hands on his face and sits there for a while. Finally he seems to mentally talk himself into it and puts his chips in, apparently expecting the worse. Bigler says “your way good, I missed my flush draw” and flips up Jh 8h. MJ TURNS OVER POCKET FOURS FOR A FULL [censored] HOUSE. Biglers jaw hits the floor and politely asks “Um, what were you thinking about?” to which MJ replies “Oh man, I thought you had a bigger boat.” Note to self, bluff MJ.

For a while everything with this strategy goes great. MJ would limp, I’d raise, and he’d either fold or check fold the flop. At one point I get a chance to really stack him in a hand that goes as follows:

Blinds 100/200 25 ante, I have about 9k UTG+2 9 handed with 9d 8d. I raise to 550 as NOBODY is fighting my raises. Folds to MJ’s BB who calls.
Flop: Qd Jd Tc
MJ bets out 1000 with about 4-5k behind. I can’t believe he actually bet into me, he must have a HUGE hand. Conversely, I know he’s terrified of all in’s, so I’ll do the obvious thing. I raise to 3000. MJ quickly calls leaving himself about ~2k behind.
Turn: Kd
Meh, not a great card in terms of getting action, and MJ looks noticeably pissed about it. MJ checks, I put him in for his last 2k, and he deliberates and folds.

At my high point I have 12 or 13k. Then things start going wrong. I call a short stacks 4 or 5 BB shove in the BB with 65hh getting 2 to 1 and he has A4 and holds. I raise pre and the one smart player on the table happens to be on my left and starts shooting back. He begins 3 betting me pre or calling and CR’ing a lot of flops, so I have to slow down a bit. Then I play another interesting hand vs MJ:

MJ limps for 200 utg. He has about ~3k in his stack. It folds to me and I raise to 800 with AsQd. It folds back to MJ who calls, leaving 1900 behind.

Flop: 9c 3c 2c
MJ checks. Blegh, he might even just call off if he has a club in his hand, plus I’m pretty sure if I check behind and he checks turn again, I can push him off with an all in bet (which is about pot anyway.) I check the flop.
Turn: 7s
MJ checks. Okay, I think he’s missed his stupid hand. I’ll easily knock him out with an all in here. I put 2500 in the pot, he’s got 1900. MJ thinks for about 5-10 seconds, and puts his chips in the pot. Shiiiiat, top set? Flush? Limped AA? MJ flips up………..55 no club. WHAT THE [censored] I DON’T UNDERSTAND THESE PEOPLE!!! You debate folding a boat but call off your stack with 55? I’m not even saying his call was per say ‘bad’ but for HIM it sure as [censored] was.
River: Kd
I don’t understand live players. They nit it up and nit it up and nit it up and secretly pray to god each night that he’ll grant them the strength to fold QQ pre flop when somebody moves in pre for 10 BB’s cause they must have AA/KK then SUDDENLY decide to make hero calls. I just don’t get it.

My stack gets back down to around ~5000 after this little fiasco and a few other lost small pots when the following hand comes up:

I hold AA on the HJ. BB is a Euro player who, through the way he talks, blatantly lets people he finds himself quite the card shark, but in reality isn’t very good. Blinds 150/300 with 25 ante.

Preflop: Folds to hero, I raise to 800, folds to BB who makes it like 2600, and I decide since its live and all in is so sick scary and people actually [censored] fold getting 3 to 1 or better I might as well just call and let him put me in on the flop.
Flop: As Ad 2s
SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIAT, how the [censored] do I get value out of this? BB leads out 800. LOL, bet1/5thpotaments. This situation is so absolutely retarded, I mean, if I shove, he’ll actually fold basically everything. Even if I call its incredibly obvious what I have. I guess I should call and let him try to bluff me? I elect to call, leaving behind like 1400 or something.
Turn: 6s
Check/check.
River: Kh
BB moves all in, I call and say “I got quads.” BB instantly looks furious, repeating “I knew it, god damn it I knew it! I had KK! Such an awful river card! Such [censored]!” LOL, just, ya know, in general.

A little while after this hand we finally get moved into the main Amazon room. This sucks because I pretty much hate the insanely crowded, full of moron railbirds masturbating to the sight of Humberto Brenes, freezing cold, filthy felt, piece of [censored] in general Amazon room.

I am seated two on the right of an old guy wearing a tweed jacket, he looks about 65 or 70. I probably have like 10k at this point, and through various things going wrong a little at a time, that slips down to about 6k. We’ve got a good dealer (Jeffrey) on this table who’s efficient and polite, but the card dead old man (your always card dead when only QQ+ are playable people) decides to register complaint.

Old man: Dealer, you don’t wash the cards good enough! You have to give them the big wash!
Jeffrey: Sir, I’m just doing as the instruct me. I give them a small wash every hand as well as shuffles. It keeps the game moving better.
Old man: You don’t do it big enough! Make it a big wash!
I [censored] hate annoying nits who whine at dealers because they suck at poker/life. I decide to get involved.
Bond: Jeffrey I love the way you deal and wash the cards man! [I turn directly to old man with a big smile on my face] A quick dealer who gets the cards out fast keeps the game going well, and we get more hands in, pretty great no? [I turn back to dealer] Great work there Jeffrey!

The old man glares at me in annoyance, I nod at Jeffrey, he nods back, concealing a smile. For the next half hour the old man would seem agitated with me in general, especially if I raised.

Around this time, with blinds 200/400 50 ante and my stack at about 5000 from folding a lot, the following hand comes up:
I hold TT in the BB.

Preflop: Folds to MP2, MP2 calls 400. HJ raises to 1600. Folds to hero in BB who shoves. MP2 folds, HJ calls and turns over 66.
Board: No 6, boo yah! I double up to around 12k.

A round or two after this we move up to 300/600 with 75 ante putting me at about 20 BB’s. We get a new dealer, a very old and slow guy named Donald who seems more or less totally out of it. Hmm, agitated old man player + out of it old man dealer = impending disaster. A round later, the following situation develops:

Preflop: UTG limps in for 600, folds to agitated old man with 10k who waves his hands in the air a few times and mumbles all in. His cards are sitting in front of his stack. Donald sees the old man waving his hands and his cards in front of his stack and grabs the cards, placing them in the muck.
Old man: “HEY!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!”
Donald: “What? What’s wrong?”
Bond: “Uh, he declared all in, you put his cards in the muck.”
Old man: “Give me my cards back!!!”

The cards are in the muck, touching other cards, but not completely mixed in. Donald pulls out what are very clearly the old mans two cards and we call over the floor. I am so curious how this one will turn out. The floor attempts to sort out the situation and what’s happened. The dealer is a bit to bewildered, and the old man to emotionally invested, so I try to break it down for him. He say’s to me and the guy on my right very directly “I need to know if you heard all in.”
”Absolutely, he definitely said it.” I respond. The floor man decides to have the old man whisper his exact two cards into his ear, and if they are the one’s that have been removed from the muck. The table agrees this is far. The old man whispers to him the exact cards, and since it is a dealer error his cards are restored to him. It folds around to UTG, who also folds.

TO BE CONTINUED (Going to dinner at Bellagio buffet with Wardekar/Dawgz)

It’s Wednesday or Thursday and I’m heading out to the Bellagio for the 2pm 5k event. I say ‘Wednesday or Thursday’ because in Vegas knowing the day is pretty much useless and irrelevant. On this particular day, whichever it is, I’ll be trying my luck at the Bellagio for the second time. If the Bellagio’s series of tournaments for the summer can be faulted for one thing, it’s that their probably running too many 5k events, which people probably don’t have the money to pony up for THAT consistently, so we’re getting some very short fields.

Today’s field would only get around ~50 players, which I would say breaks down as follows:
~20 good
~10 average (read: bad)
~20 fish
My table gets a roughly average distribution of those players, including a hung over Kush in seat 1. Too much beer and video poker Kush, but at least you flop straight flushes (in video poker naturally.)

For the first few levels I try to see cheap flops or raise pre with good hands but I can’t get anything going. The only semi interesting hand of the entire 2 hours goes as follows:

The player on my left had min reraised somebody once pre flop and had AhKh, which hit an A on the turn after C-betting the flop and stacked the awful villain. He seemed pretty tight, so I’m pretty sure he’s min reraise range pre is very tight and he probably over values AK and doesn’t understand how to play it.
His stack: ~15k
My stack: ~7k, I hold JJ UTG+1, blinds 50/100.

Preflop: UTG calls 100, I raise to 400, UTG+2 reraises to 800, folds back to me, I call.

Flop: 8 3 3 two diamonds (I have none)
I check, he bets 1000, I call intending to fold if he continues with confidence.
Turn: 4
I check, he bets 2500, I fold.

After that things continued to go wrong when the blinds went up to 100/200 and every attempt I made at getting involved went straight to hell. Seated on my immediate right is well known internet MTT player kwob20, who’s a very nice guy and managed to get Rolande De Wolfe quite annoyed with him when the following hand developed:

Wolfe: 5.5k
Kwob: 6k
Blinds 100/200

Preflop: Folds to Wolfe on the button, Wolfe makes it 600, Kwob calls, BB folds.
Flop: Qh Th 4c
Kwob checks, Wolfe bets 1000, Kwob shoves, Wolfe calls. Kwob shows Kh 9h and Wolfe Ks Js.
Turn: 4h

Wolfe angrily gets up to the table and makes some remark about Kwob’s pre flop call, then storms out to the porch.

A few rounds after Kwob picks up some chips, I find a way to get them back from him. I peer down at 9d 2d in the SB at 100/200.
Hero: 4.8k
Kwob: 12k
HJ: 9k
BB: IDK?

Preflop: Folds to HJ, HJ calls, folds to Kwob on Button, Kwob calls, I complete, BB checks.
Flop: 7d 5h 3d
I check, BB checks, HJ checks, kwob bets 575. I decided that vs a standard live player I would be shoving here, but since kwob knows I’m online the way to look strong to him (and hopefully get him to fold a middle pair or something) is to CR half my stack instead. I make it 2000, BB folds, HJ folds, and Kwob moves in. I call and he shows 33, [censored].
Turn: Qc
River: 8d

Whoa, a draw actually got there. I double back to almost 10k. Unfortunately for me, things would never go above that. I mostly fold for about 2 or 3 rounds and the blinds go up to 100/200 25 ante. A few on my right is a very aggressive middle aged player, I think John Gale. He’s aggressive to the point of sloppiness though overall plays fairly well. He’s been opening a lot of pots when I see an opportunity to make a move 9 handed, after having played very tight for a while.
Gale (MP1): 15k
MP2: 13.5k
Hero: ~9k
Hero holds 4d 3d on the HJ.

Preflop: Folds to MP1, MP1 raises to 600, MP2 calls, hero raises to 2300, folds back to MP1, MP1 considers his options and calls, MP2 deliberates forever and also calls.
Flop: Ks Qs Ts
MP1 leads out 4k, MP2 shoves, I fold, MP1 calls. MP1 shows Ah Ad, MP2 Kc Qc.

The KQ held and my squeeze completely failed. I continue to fold for a while until the next interesting hand comes up:

MP1 is a young solid player who seems to know what he’s doing. Button is a middle aged player who is obviously recreational (read: awful, loose, spewy, bad) and remarked to the table “I’m just killing time here while my wife shops, she’ll do way more damage than this tournament.”
Hero holds Jc 9c in the BB at 100/200 with 25 ante.
Hero: 6.6k
MP1: 14k
Button: 10k
SB: ~12k

Preflop: Folds to MP1, MP1 makes it 625, folds to button, button calls, SB calls, hero calls.
Flop: 6c 7d 9s
SB checks. Hmm, I am almost positive if MP1 bets he has an over pair, he’s not leading AK into 3 players on this board. If he checks and the button bets, he’s bad enough that I have to shove on him, assuming SB doesn’t raise. I also check, MP1 checks, button bets 1500, SB folds, I shove, MP1 folds. Button sighs and states, in a 100% serious tone “Well, I guess I have to call” then flips up 77.
Turn: 8
River: 4

That’s it for me today, at least I’ll be available to pick up A_Junglen at the airport. After Wardekar and I pick him up we head out to Nath’s place where a group of 10 of us hangs out playing beer pong and enjoying the hilarious dancing antics of Randalflow. God knows how anyone could ever shoot straight in beer pong watching that kid in a groove. After the get together four of us head to the Korean BBQ for a late night food run and we end up getting back fairly late. I won’t be getting nearly as much sleep as I’d prefer, and tomorrows event is $1500 NL, which promises to be an absolute horror house.

When I jerk awake to my standard morning wake up call I’m really not feeling quite up to everything. However, I’ve promised I’d meet Mlagoo to get money I can give to Stevepa. I half awake stumble down to the poker room, where neither Mlagoo or Stevepa are anywhere in sight so after waiting around for 10 minutes I decide to just go back to the room and back to sleep. While walking out I run into Stevepa/Pacman/Sirwatts who are waiting in line and talk me into playing, including Pacman loaning me $1500 since I’ve forgotten mine in the room. Fine, whatever, [censored] it, I’ll play this stupid 60 BB start stack event.

My first table is out in the tent, which will rotate throughout the day from being way to hot to momentarily temperate then way to cold. Glad I brought a jacket (obv.)

By the first break I was up 5k after making a flush and getting paid off. In the second two hours I went very hot by picking up AK about 5 times and either winning a flip or hitting it, as well as flopping a set of jacks and stacking someone. Unfortunately, I don’t really have anything CLOSE to an interesting hand that involves a thought process or a real decision to make. Things were just very standard and by the 2nd break I am up ~14k. By the time we go to dinner I am up to around 19k, and the only semi interesting hand was a pre flop decision with AQ which I’ll be posting in HSMTT.

I go to dinner with A_junglen and Iweargoggles who was at various periods of the day, on and off my table. We never end up in a pot however. After the break we begin approaching the bubble and things become painstakingly slow. When we’re about 5 players out hand for hand begins, and I now have a short stack of 15k. After the dinner break I’ve gone COMPLETELY card dead and basically fold for hours. As we approach the bubble I realize in a field this soft I can play aggressive and nobody is going to fight back. For example: The CO raises to 3.5k, I jam 15k with J5o, blinds fold and he insta folds AT. 2 from the money I raise 9To and get jammed on by a middle aged guy who begs me to fold and flips up AA.

On the hand before the actually bubble (270 cash, 271 left) a guy who has announced to the table he will only be raising KK and AA, and already raised once saying “you know what I have! I’ll show!” then flipped up KK to prove his honesty raises it up with about 20k. It folds to me in the BB with 83o and I count up my stack.
”You already know what I have, I’ll show, I promise!” I look over at his stack. I’ve got 18k, him about 20k, so I guess I can’t put him to a decision for his entire stack. I decide to fold 83o face up and he shows me his KK. He then informs me “If you’d pushed, and actually covered me, I definitely fold. I didn’t come all the way from Alaska just to finish 271st.”

When we finally enter the money the room goes completely nuts with people shouting and applauding. I lean back in my chair to look over at Goggles who’s also leaning back. We look at each other and break into laughter, knowingly rolling our eyes.

By the end of the night I still fail to get into any interesting hands as most people are so short from stalling on the bubble everything is push/fold. At one point with 20k in the SB it folds to me at 8/1600 and I look down at AQ and shove into the BB who has about 11k. He tanks then announces “okay, I’ll gamble with ya!” and after playing tight for hours I expect him to perhaps show me a mid pair. Nope, the man flips up K2o and after flopping my A I have 30k.

Unfortunately, after this hand I wouldn’t win another pot for the rest of the short evening and finish the day with 22,200. Day 2 doesn’t begin until 2pm so I’ll finally be able to get some sleep. By the end of the night I am so exhausted I can barely see straight.

Coming back the next day was an equally pointless and boring story. I fold for 10 minutes, with 18 and 1k/2k 300 ante blinds jam J4o on the button and with a stack full of black 100’s that looks much bigger than it is announce jokingly to the BB who starts thinking over his decision “You dare to consider calling a stack of this magnitude!?” He looks longingly at his cards and folds.

A few hands later with about 22k I look down at 33 in MP1 at a 9 or 8 handed table and jam when folded to. It folds to the button who calls this time and the blinds call. The button flips up AQ and flops a Q to end my day. Okay, fair enough, all feels pretty standard and boring to me. At least I never have to say I’ve never cashed a WSOP pre lim event (which, going into this event, was in ~25 attempts.) I’m not even sure how much money I get, I didn’t bother to collect it, but it’s roughly 4k.

That’s the problem with the $1500 events. They’re as close to a simplistic and pointless grind as a MTT player is likely to encounter. They’re also enormous fields of awful players who would be very fun to play against if we were deep enough to really be able to manipulate them. Tomorrow is another $1500 event which I walk down at 1:30am to register for tonight. I run into Badgerpro on my way and tell him to come hang in line for a moment while I wait to register.
“No way man, I just waited through a 50 minute line that’s stretching out the door and there’s only 3 tellers, your on your own, sorry. Tell me what your table number is tonight though, and GL.”

I walk down the hall and see Badger is in fact correct, the line is well out the door and perhaps got even worse. I smirk to myself about what a fish Badger is to have waited through all that.

5 minutes later I am walking back to my room fully registered without the slightest delay. Hey Badger, next time you run into me, come along for the ride and I’ll show you how it’s done. For now its time I get some sleep, see EVERYONE tomorrow.

Today at the WSOP is the $5000 heads up tournament which I have really have no interest in playing, so I decided to go over to the Bellagio and play their $2500 event. Every time I walk around the Bellagio I am amazed, the building is more city than casino, but a city draped in the finest of aesthetics in every aspect. The scope of the building and the land it sits on alone is absolutely enormous and awe inspiring, and the inside is about as gorgeous and well adorned as any building your likely to set foot in this life time.

I got to the Bellagio at about 12:45 for what I thought was a 1pm event, but it turns out they have changed the start times to 2pm from now, I believe to encourage players who bust from the WSOP event that day to come over and try again. When the event finally gets underway we are seated in the Fontana room which is at about 1/3 capacity. All in total the event would get about 105 entrants, with first paying a bit over $100,000. We start with a $5000 bank and 25/50 blinds, with 1 hour levels.

My original table seems to be pretty soft outside a few solid spots, such as online pro rcrane sitting on my immediately right. I have a older gentleman named George Mamarcas on my immediate left who final tabled the main event at the Ozzie Millions in 2005, and the [censored] NEVER SHUTS THE [censored] UP. For the first hour most of the pots I play are small or incredibly obvious so very little of interest happens. I try to see flops cheaply when I can and don’t get much in the way of starting hands, but thanks to hitting a set and stacking a guy with TPTK at the break I am at about 7400. At the first break I stand outside taking in the view and sun on the porch of the Fontana lounge and young player approaches me who says he’s seen me around the Rio and thinks my suits are a cool look. He obviously has excellent taste, so I chat to him for a moment before we realize we already know each other. He is 2p2’er Mastr and we hit it off discussing the hilariousness that is Chad Brown attempting to fight Aaron Been because his girlfriend has no idea how to behave at a poker table. According to his story, Chad Brown followed them to the Bellagio looking to confront Aaron after the confrontation at the Rio, but was unsuccessful in his attempt to kick some internet kid punk ass when he wasn’t able to find Aaron.

After the first break we are playing 100/200 with no ante. I try to equate most of the live tournaments I play structures to something I am used to online, and this one plays similar to a stars 109 freeze out. I try to adjust my strategy to something similar as I would play in that online forum, accept more aggressive pre and post with c bets since people fold to much. The first even semi worth mentioning hand went as follows:

With blinds/antes at 100/200 with 25 ante a fairly average player limped in UTG with about 6k. I look down at TT with 7k in MP and when folded to make it 850. It folds to the BB who is a very VERY weak guy of about 50 years old who with a 4k stack elects to reraise to 2k total. UTG folds and its back to me, and I fold without much thought.

A round or two later MP2, a fairly bad middle aged player who’s opening standards I’m not terribly sure of opens to 600. The bad/weak player on his left calls. It folds to me in the BB with AQo and I look over at the OR who has only about 2k. I decide to move all in and the OR calls, with the limper folding. The OR shows A5cc and my hand holds up, putting me around 8k.

A couple rounds after that I have been playing tight but picked up some small pots and am up to around 9 or 10k. It folds to me on the CO, and the player on the button is somewhat new to the table who has only seen me play one hand, AQ. I raise 94cc to 650 on a pure steal and the button, with about 10k, flat calls me. The blinds fold.
Flop: Qd 6d Qc
I’m pretty sure if I c bet here will basically never be given any credit. I decide to do a little FPS here and OOP float him and donk the turn, since I think a live player might give me credit for a Q playing that way. I check, he bets 800, and I call.
Turn: 6c
I quickly bet 1300 and the button mumbles something about “nice hand Mr. Q” and releases without thinking very much. I’m not really sure if I like how I played this hand, and its something I would basically never do online, but live I think he might be apt to give me more credit. IDK, I think I may post that one.

The very next hand I pick up JJ and when its folded to me make it 650 on the HJ. The CO folds and the button flat calls, as does the SB. The BB, who was the fairly weakfish player from the TT hand, now moves all in for ~4k. Even though he’s weak there’s absolutely no way I’m folding here so I move all in as well. The two cold callers fold and the BB flips up 77. My JJ holds up and I’m now at roughly ~15k. A few hands later we go on break where I again take in the excellent view from the Fontana lounge porch.

Coming back from the break I lose about 3k playing some small pots where very little interesting happened. About half an hour into the 200/400 with 25 ante level the following hand comes up:

We are 8 handed and the player in MP2 who is very bad/loose but has almost 40k from being a station and bluffing at somehow, all the right times, limps in for 400. It folds to me on the CO with a 12k stack with Ad Qd and I make it 1600. The button/blinds fold and the bad player calls.

Flop: 4d 6d 7h
MP2 leads out 1600 and I briefly think things over before moving all in. I’ve got a pretty tight image at this point, especially when it comes to committing all my chips, so I’m expecting a lot of folds. Also, I’ve seen him donk out on a lot of players and fold to their raises. Instead of what I was expecting, he takes only about 3 seconds before calling and flips up Ah 7c. Awesome, he is obviously destroying my range there.
Turn: Js
River: 3c

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK, one time dude, OOOOOOOOOOOOOONE time! I politely wish the remaining players good luck and wander over to Mastr’s table to tell him what happened. It is apparently a little known secret at the Bellagio that if you ask the floor men nicely while in the tournament they will give you a $15 voucher for the buffet, and from what the dealer told me, sometimes 2 if you say you have a friend with you. I imagine tipping the floor man you ask would be of good help in this instance.

I wander over to the Bellagio buffet (which is absolutely delicious btw, and I normally don’t care for buffet’s) and as I’m about to be seated Mastr shouts out “Bond!” behind me and quips “Dude! I am busto!” Oh well, while 2p2 may have blanked the Bellagio tournament, we certainly dominated that buffet.

Later that night I would call up Stevepa again and ask him how he was doing in preparation for more money begging. I believe at this point I am the only member of team Stevix that is without cash in Vegas this summer so despite Steve’s/Timex’s relaxed attitude with me, I at the least, perceive the pressure to be on. Tomorrow is a 5k event at the Bellagio which I will again be playing and at worst resulting in a trip to the Bellagio buffet. Also, I have convinced (read: nagged) A_Junglen into coming out to visit which I am quite excited for as I intend to mooch the knowledge sitting in his brain to attempt to get me out of this rut. Perhaps a visit from coach Asian sensation can get my head in the right place and variance on my side.

Here's hoping, Bond18.

On Friday afternoon I left for the Vegas airport for my 6:30pm flight that would touch down in Milwaukee a little before midnight. When I got to the airport I was informed the flight was delayed 3 hours due to technical problems. Perfect, three hours, just enough time that going back to the hotel would be pointless, especially considering taxi costs, and enough time that sitting for an airport in that period is worse than a Chinese water torture. In consolation, Midwest gave me a $75 voucher for my next flight. The value of 3 hours of my time> $75. I went upstairs and to my elation found a Barnes & Noble in the airport and bought a couple books that managed to make 3 hours, plus the flight itself, slip by almost unnoticed. When I finally got to Milwaukee at around 3:15am I show up to the apartment to find my roommate has disconnected the phone, internet, and just about everything else, seeing as he is in Vegas for the whole 6 weeks. There’s also no food in the fridge and the apartment feels like a sauna. I had to be up by noon and with the two hour jet lag plus hunger I wasn’t able to actually fall asleep till about 6am.

That Saturday I had the chance to see friends and family for the first time in over half a year. Talking to old college friends is always a little awkward as the conversation will inevitably go something like:
Bond: “Hey (old friend), how’s it going?”
Friend: “Great man, I haven’t seen you in forever.”
Bond: “Yea well, ya know. So what are you up to these days? School?”
Friend: “Right, yep, classes, school, almost done. How about you?”
Bond: “Um, traveling the world playing poker I guess?”

How the [censored] am I supposed to say something like that without sounding incredibly arrogant? Once naturally conversation has become highly difficult as I attempt to avoid inadvertently trivializing how they’ve spent their time. I’m sure a lot of you guys can probably relate on some level.

My parents were nice enough to drive me back from Madison to Milwaukee on Sunday instead of my taking the bus as planned. Unfortunately, well checking for my ticket my mom realized that I had accidentally booked for a return flight of July 17 instead of June 17. I immediately called the people I booked with, Travelocity, to see what they could do about this. Their answer was that since they sent me a paper ticket (which was my only option at that point in time) that there was zero they could do and I’d have to talk to the airlines at the airport. Fine, [censored] it, whatever, let’s go to the airport and see what they can do.

I get to the airport, and wait through a 15 minute line to the desk of the airline I was with, Frontier, to ask them about my options. They tell me that their Vegas flight tonight is fully booked, over booked in fact, and that there’s nothing they can do for me. I ask them if they mind checking who else as flights to Vegas that night, and they inform me Midwest has a 9:30pm direct flight that might be open. Okay, fine, I go to find out what Midwest can do for me. I wait in line with Midwest for 15 minutes, and they inform me they do in fact have a flight tonight with two seats left, and that a ticket will be $575. That’s [censored] absurd for a one way flight to Vegas, I tell them I’m going to go ask Frontier if they have anything for the next day since I have a ticket with them anyways that will hopefully make it a lot cheaper. I go back to the frontier line, wait another 10 minutes, and ask them about what my options are for tomorrow. They inform me that they in fact have a 6am flight with seats open. Hmm, If I went back to the apartment and slept for a while now (and I was in fact exhausted, having not gotten a decent nights rest in about 3 days) I could wake up in time, come to the airport, sleep some more on the plane and be in Vegas well ahead of time for the $2500 6 max event, which I wanted to play so very bad. I ask frontier what the extra on top will be if I take this option, which includes deducting the value of the ticket I already have and a fee on top for changing flights. Total: $458. Get the [censored] out of here, that’ll save me about $40 over the United option and I have to totally [censored] my sleep up plus its not even a direct flight. I go back to the United desk, and thank god there’s no line. I tell the lady at the counter I guess I’ll take the 9:30 flight tonight and check in as well. While attempting to book this flight the computer somehow ‘breaks.’ She absolutely could not figure out what was wrong, apparently it just wasn’t letting her make the booking. Were I a suspicious man I’d take the hint by now that I shouldn’t be going to Vegas. [censored] you superstition, I am playing that $2500 6 max if it kills me. The desk lady messes with the computer for 15 minutes, then calls her co worker over. Upon messing with the computer for 5 minutes the co worker mutters “Giiiiiiiirl, what the hell you do to this thing?” She can’t figure it out either. Finally they call the supervisor over, who recognizes the problem after another 5 minutes. The first desk woman looks up at my apologetically “I’m sorry, it’s my first week here.”

I finally get back to the Rio hotel around 11pm Vegas time. I walk down to the cage and register for tomorrows $2500 6 max. I call down to the front desk and order a wake up call as usual, and then quickly fall asleep.
At some point in the morning the alarm clock goes off and begins playing rap music. I roll over in bed and stare at the clock, it says 12:00. FUUUUCK!! Did I oversleep? No wait, I ordered a wake up call, I don’t remember anything about an alarm. I smash the top of the alarm and decide I better turn my computer on to double check. Nope, computer says 10:10, I still have time to sleep, God knows what the alarm was all about. I fall back asleep and have the same nightmare I always have, that I’m back in school. Since leaving school I can honestly say I don’t remember having a nightmare that wasn’t school related. Suddenly I’m woken up again, I think by the noise coming from the room next to me. I walk over to the computer and flick the mouse so the screen comes up and I can check the time; 12:20. FUUUUUUUUUUCK!!! I really did oversleep! I start sprinting for the dresser and trying to throw pants on when it hits me, the computer is on Central time, it’s actually 10:20. My morning disorientation robbed my brain of this realization until I had a leg in my jeans. I collapse back into bed refusing to wake up for anything but a call from my favorite automated lady.

When the automated lady finally does beckon me to consciousness I could already feel the excitement for the event. Live 6 max is really just about as sweet as it gets, as very few players adjust properly. We start the event with a $5000 bank and 25/50 blinds.

My first table looks pretty soft. Only one other guy who is young and he seems pretty tight and straight forward. There was one point in one of the first rounds where I played 10 or 11 straight hands as I kept getting hands of medium quality but were certainly raiseable; KJ, QJ, 77, 87ss, AThh, A9hh, etc etc. After this stretch of cards the table thinks I’m basically a total lag and I’ve lost 75 chips. The table is pretty social and gregarious and we’re having a fun time when a 30ish English guy sits down on my immediate left after the previous player there busted. The English guy definitely seems like a recreational player, but not full on retard or anything. He tells me about how at his previous table, he raised AK, got reraised small and called. The flop came A67 and he lead into the guy who shoved on him and he folded. Okay then, I know he can make nit folds. He has no idea about my image, and the time he was there I was actually quite tight as I was being dealt very obvious folding type hands. At one point during 50/100 the BB has stepped up to take a phone call or something, and the SB is very weak tight. It folds to me on the CO with about a 5k stack; the Englishman has a comparable one. I look down at 4d 5h and decide with a missing blind and a SB who won’t get stubborn, I have only the Redcoat to worry about, and raise to 250. Redcoat decides to flat call on the button and the SB folds.
Flop: Jh 7h 3h
I bet 350, the Englishman thinks only briefly, and calls.
Turn: 8d
I was going to check-fold a lot of turns, but this card seems pretty good in terms of giving me extra outs. I also think if he has a medium quality flush draw he’ll likely give up to a decent bet at this point. I don’t know why he wouldn’t raise the flop with a J unless he has like JcKh but otherwise I think I get quite a few folds here. I decide to bet 700, and he thinks it over a bit before calling.
River: Kc
Hmm, that’s an okay bluff card. If he puts me on like AK trying to push him out he might make another nit fold, and if he had a flush draw he’ll give up now. Obviously I can never win by checking. I bet 1500. The Redcoat now tanks longer than anyone has tanked on me in the entire series. Minutes go by as I casually sit in my chair flipping my chips about, as he counts and recounts his stack, stares at me, and rubs his hands all over his head. Eventually, seat 1 calls the clock on him and the floor is brought over to time him. Half way into his minute and ten second count down he pushes his hand into the muck and mumbles about very possibly laying down the best hand. I’m now up to around 7000.

Soon afterwards our table breaks and I find myself seated across from Colson10. A few rounds into my stay at the table a hand comes up where UTG+1 (weak/station) open limps for 100, and on the CO Colson shoves for 2050. Button folds and I’m sitting in the SB with about 7200. I tank for a while on my decision, and deciding that I just can’t see him doing this with JJ I make the call. The limper folds and Colson flips up AhJh. A J on the turn keeps Colson in the game and another good player at the table. A couple rounds after that another hand which is posted in HSMTT comes up that goes down as follows. I am holding Ad 4d UTG+1 with about 5k in my stack, Colson has about 4200 in the SB. Button and BB are both weak/stations with about 8 or 9k.
Preflop: UTG folds, I raise to 300, CO folds, button calls, Colson calls, BB calls.
Flop: Qh 6h 4c
Checks around.
Turn: Ac
Colson checks, BB checks, I bet 750 (should be a little more), button calls, Colson shoves for 3100 more, BB folds. I now tank for the longest I have in any hand of the WSOP and try to put the pieces together. I eventually decide that I just don’t think with both of us that Colson expects to get a fold, and I’m not sure he thinks I can lay down AK here, and give up my hand. Button also folds. I talk to Colson about the hand later and he tells me he had AQ and I don’t have any reason to think he’s misleading me. Both of those hands are up for discussion in HSMTT.

Soon after I get moved tables again where I find myself seated next to a European player I had played a bit before in a much earlier event. We go on break and when we come back I lose 1200 chips raising KJ pre flop and C betting an Axx flop vs a older English guy who immediately check shoves and shows AQss when I fold. I am down to about 4400 when the following hand comes:
100/200 blinds, I hold AQo in the BB. SB is the Euro guy who has about 6k.

Preflop: Folds to SB, SB completes. Hero raises to 600, SB looks over at my stack, grabs a bunch of his big chips and throws them out. I decide there’s no [censored] way he completed AK here vs a player he knows to be aggressive and jam, and he has a very clear pot odds call. SB rolls over A9o.
Flop: 3 3 3
Turn: J
I tell the dealer to “keep it low please.”
River: 9
NOT THAT [censored] LOW ONE! I politely shake hands with the Euro player and wish him good luck, then spend the rest of my day likely annoying people with my complaining. After getting some lunch with Dawgz/War Dekar I get back to my room and find myself so exhausted I collapse into the bed and instantly pass out into a coma. I guess my bodies exhaustion from the travel/lack of sleep/losing finally caught up with me and decided to just flick the off switch.

Tomorrow is the $5000 heads up tournament at the WSOP which I have less than zero interest in playing. Bellagio is running a $2500 tournament at 1pm, which is great because I can both sleep late and walk around the Bellagio in my suit pretending to be a smarmy Oceans 11esque prick. See you guys at the Bellagio tomorrow I guess.

Because I’ve got a flight today at 6:30pm I didn’t play any events yesterday or today. The next event I’ll be playing is the $2500 on the 18th. The last time I was home, or even East of Vegas, was late December in 2006. Perhaps a few days off will be good for me and allow me to cool off for a bit, however, I also hate to break up my groove, and as anyone reading these TR’s can tell I have QUITE the groove going right now.

I will definitely be glad to get out of Vegas for a few days though. Some call Vegas the city of dreams, an illusion of decadence and grandeur in an otherwise barren and desolate wasteland where anything can happen. I think of Vegas as the city of [censored]. Why? Vegas is that magical place where adults go when they need a break from the hum drum of daily life and want to act like a total [censored] idiot for a weekend, week, or however long. The people who show up here decide ahead of time that they’ll “go crazy!!! YEEEEEA!!!” and make good on that declaration, shouting included. Even with the locals it feels like they’re constantly on the hustle or angle shooting and why shouldn’t they be? Rumors fly around of valets and restaurant host’s making 6 figures a year off tip money, so if buttering you up anyway they know how is the best way to get you to fork it over then so be it. The moment anyone in Vegas you don’t know or haven’t been introduced to through a friend begins speaking to you, you should immediately ask yourself “What are they trying to get out of me? What’s their angle?” Here’s some City of [censored] %’s you can use for wagers with your friends:

1. % of time you will be walking through casino and some jackass will scream “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEA!!!” for absolutely no reason, 80%

2. % of time any woman in Vegas who doesn’t have a casinos or restaurants uniform on begins talking to you is a prostitute, 95%

3. % of time you will pay for something common with cash without thinking about it, then a few moments later realize “WTF? I just paid that for THIS!?”, 75%

4. % of time somebody you get friendly or chatty with in the poker room will ask you for loan/stake/help with money, 10%. That reminds me I need to call Steve….

5. % of time women who appear to be in their young 30’s with sunglasses on immediately becoming obviously 45+ without, 40%

6. % of time a pit boss will appear to be hating his job/life through his demeanor, 100%

7. % of time you can find a good meal at 5am, 100%

8. % of time house keeping will wake you up in the morning despite your making it clear to them and the front desk that you sleep in late and the best time to come is the late afternoon, 35%

9. % of time somebody will do something so mind boggling stupid at the live poker table you worry you’ll have an aneurism just watching it, 15%

10. % of time you will find yourself being a total hypocrite about insulting Vegas [censored] when yelling “GREAT SUCCESS!!” like a drunken wanker when you roll a point, 99%

Screw you guys, I’m going home. Back on the 17th for more trip reports with poker included.