I was sitting outside at a neighborhood café today looking to get a 1pm breakfast of pancakes and coffee. I’d taken the day off as I had some things to take care of during the afternoon. The café is on a fairly busy street with considerable foot traffic in a neighborhood that’s a pretty eclectic mix of people.

As I was sipping my coffee two “girls” walked past me, one on the phone. The one on the phone was staring right at me and smiling then pointed at me to “her” friend. I smiled back and as “she” walked by “she” said “Heeey!” Neither was particularly attractive but I smiled and said “Hi” back because whatever. The “girls” walked past and down the street, out of view for a period.

A couple minutes later the “girl” that wasn’t on the phone came walking back towards the café with a slip in paper. “She” walked right up to me with a smile and said “This is for you” and handed me the piece of paper with a number on it. This person handing me the number was clearly a dude. The name on the slip of paper was “Leilani”. It was written in blue ink and the dots above the ‘I’ were not written with a heart. Clearly a fucking dude.

Now I know how you all feel about pictures, but unfortunately in the moment I didn’t have the focus to whip out my phone and tell the “girl” handing me the number to “Hold the fuck still while I take a picture.” As a result, I have scoured the internet and found a similar looking transvestite to help with the imagery of this story.

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