So to make a very long story short, it would appear Celina and I are broken up. I won’t get into a long ranting post about the reasons why, not only because it’s personal but that just isn’t the kind of content I put in my blog really. We’ve talked about trying to hang out in Sydney and see how we go, but until then we are officially not a couple and we won’t be seeing each other until then.

I woke up today and tried to grind, but realized very quickly my head was not in the right place. One thing I’ve prided myself on in poker is that I always keep my cool and never get worked up over any table talk or berating. That ended today. I had a situation come up today after this hand: http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/87/high-stakes-mtt/top-pair-drawy-board-100r-335866/
One of the other players on the table berated me for my call when it turned out the BB had 6d4d and got there on the river. I had previously sucked out on that player open shoving QJhh for like 13 BB’s on the CO or HJ or something against his AK. A few hands later that player limped the small and I shoved like 14 BB’s in the BB with A5cc. He snapped 66 and held then called me a donkey.

Historically I’ve either left the table or said something self deprecating to ease my way out of the situation. Today I wound up looking up that players Stars/Tilt account on OPR, finding out he was a –ROI player, then shooting back on the rail with comments like “You’re one to talk captain –ROI” or something like that then getting into it with him. It wasn’t particularly classy by me but if preschool logic applies; he started it.

Anyway, so I realized I’m going to need a break from poker. Stevo very kindly let me out of our November bets with the plan that we’ll do them in some month down the line. We only got one taker for the team bet, our friends ‘Improved’ and ‘Rdcrsn’ and I talked to Improved who had no problem dropping the bet and doing it later on. I really appreciate all those guys showing me some leniency here.

Instead, our Skype chat group is going to go down to Chris’s parent’s beach house down in the bay, about an hour South of Melbourne. We’ll hang out for a week and after that I’m going to go visit my friend Cade (Lee Nelsons son) in Hawaii, which is where I’d likely end up living if Celina and I stay apart. I’ve already booked all my flights and look forward to a month in the sun before APPT Sydney at the end of November. I may or may not blog during that period, but knowing me I’ll feel the need to do creative writing and put something up.

Until then, so long.

Just to prove it’s all about how you spin things let’s take a look at the reasons why live poker is vastly superior to online:

1. Social interaction:

a. Live poker: Has real flesh and blood people. You can look at them, hear them, smell them, and touch them; though purposely and blatantly attempting the last two may lead to many awkward situations. You’ll meet people from all walks of life at the table and can make friendships that’ll last a life time, but most of all you’ll witness some truly hilarious interactions.

b. Online poker: Where all your friends and peers are the same little flashing box on whatever instant messaging system you prefer and the closest thing you have to interaction at work is a 30 second conversation with the delivery man from the Indian place.

2. Non poker players acceptance:

a. Live poker: Tell normal people you play live poker for a living, often traveling to interesting and foreign locations, and their eyes will light up and say something like “Wow! I’ve seen that stuff on ESPN! That’s so incredible! So…have you ever been on TV? What’s the coolest place you’ve played poker? Can I get you a beer or something?”

b. Online poker: Tell those same normal people you play online poker for a living, at home in front of your computer, and you’ll get awesome responses like “Huh…all you do is sit home all day and play games on your computer? Isn’t that unemployment?” or “Yea but that’s all play money right?” or everyone’s favorite “So you won a bunch of money online playing cards? But wait…how much did you lose?”

3. Proof of accomplishment:

a. Live poker: Win a major live tournament and you’ll get a physical memento that will last forever proving that once upon a time, you took down a big one. Perhaps you’ll win a WSOP bracelet, the second most desired piece of jewelry in poker behind an engagement ring from Patrick Antonius:

<a href="http://s173.photobucket.com/albums/w63/Bond18/?action=view¤t=patrick-antonius-cash-game2.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i173.photobucket.com/albums/w63/Bond18/patrick-antonius-cash-game2.jpg" border="0" alt="Antonius"></a>
[I]“Will you spend the rest of your life with me, looking and feeling considerably less perfect by comparison?” [/I]

Or perhaps you’ll win an EPT trophy, a giant cup that will rest on your mantel at home and remind everyone of your skills:
<a href="http://s173.photobucket.com/albums/w63/Bond18/?action=view¤t=gavwin.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i173.photobucket.com/albums/w63/Bond18/gavwin.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>
[I]“Somebody get a **** ton of vodka and redbull, we’re all gettin’ wasted outta this ****er!”[/I]

Or maybe you’ll win a crystal APPT trophy, proof that either you’re number one, or that the APPT has just as much phallus as any other poker tour, if not more:

<a href="http://s173.photobucket.com/albums/w63/Bond18/?action=view¤t=grant-735424.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i173.photobucket.com/albums/w63/Bond18/grant-735424.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>
[I]“I’m Grant Levy, and I like to think it’s the former.” [/I]

Or if you can come up with $10,000 despite the economy you have a shot at the ever alluring WPT plaque:


[I]“Actually Amanda I’m going to hang it up in my office like people do with their diplomas, except mine will represent that I made more money in a week than they will in their entire post graduate career . Thoughts like that get me through the day, you know?”[/I]

b. Online poker: If you win a major tournament like the FTOPS you’ll win an avatar that immediately informs everyone on your table that you’re a winning tournament player. If you win a WCOOP event you’ll get a small golden bracelet that you can show off to people but then have them ask “So you got that playing online poker? But wait, how much did you lose trying to get it?”

4. Prize money:

a. Live poker: There are more tournaments with a seven figure first prize a year than I care to count. Even regional tournaments and preliminary tournaments for other major events get considerable six figure firsts. Win one of these and you can buy a house.

b. Online poker: You have a shot at seven figures about once a year and just a couple shots at six figures per week. Given the way the Stars payout structures are heading, I imagine it’ll be one in no time. Most major nightly tournaments have a maximum first prize of about $25,000, though some go over. Win one of these and it’s enough to eliminate 25% of your make up with Bax and Sheets.

5. The food:

a. Live poker: Many casinos where major tournaments are held are host to some of the finest restaurants in the world. Every major casino in Las Vegas is packed with restaurant options and even in card rooms that don’t have their own restaurants are likely located in a central area with many near by quality restaurants.

b. Online poker: Has delivery food or whatever you can prepare during your 60 second time bank. Enjoy your Ramen.

6. The sponsorships:

a. Live poker: Win a major live tournament and you have a shot at a sponsorship contract, meaning you’ll get paid to do what you were going to do free anyway and possibly become a big name in poker.

b. Online poker: Win a major online tournament and nobody will have a ****ing clue what you did because you’re screen name is an assembly of random words and numbers.

7. The stories:

a. Live poker: Remember the time you and all your buddies went to Treasure Island and Psyduck got way too wasted and puked all over the table? Oh man that was so epic!

b. Online poker: Remember that time…..you sat home alone all day and nothing happened?

8. The breaks:

a. Live poker: Has 10-20 minute breaks every two hours so people can get their pisses, cigarettes, and joints in at a leisurely pace.

b. Online poker: Doesn’t have synchronized breaks, making them entirely useless and has you attempting to multi task all your responsibilities. That means you’ve got a cigarette in one hand, a joint in the other, and no hands left to control the aim of your urine. If I had a nickel for every time…

9. The cheating:

a. Live poker: Has a few guys trying to mark cards and Men the Master having his horses collude with him so he has more chips to play terrible with. Very scary.

b. Online poker: Has people who see your ****ing hole cards and take you for millions, big name tournament sharks buying stacks deep in tournaments, God knows how many multi accounters, and site sponsored pros creating new aliases so they can play with an anonymous edge at the highest cash games. At least I feel safe at micro stakes SNG’s on Stars.

10. The locations:

a. Live poker: Has Vegas, Monte Carlo, London, Paris, Melbourne, Sydney, Seoul, Rio, San Jose, and the Bahamas, the kind of locations people dream for years about visiting.

b. Online poker: Has your house, every single day, over and over. But hey at least you have your Xbox at home, which is more than can be said for those other holes.

Today was a big day for my poker career. That’s because today I had my first hate thread in NVG, meaning I’ve attained enough notoriety in poker to have people despise me and want others to know about it. It appears the posters main problem was my live vs online poker article:
http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/29/news-views-gossip/tony-dunst-333176/

During the conversation with Greg Raymer that resulted in the ‘Fossilowned IMO’ post Greg mentioned that he’d read my ‘challenge to the world’ entry. He said he was surprised how I came off in it and how it’s rather unlike how I am in real life.
“Don’t worry Greg, nobody could take outlandish arrogance of that degree with any seriousness, and there’s a lot of joking entries like that in the blog. I mean I made a barely better than stick figure drawing of a guy holding both middle fingers up while stomping tiny opponents. What kind of moron would take that seriously?”
“It only takes one moron, especially if they aren’t familiar with your style.”
Damn, Raymer really is Obi Wanesque, sick read.

Okay, so let’s get it out in the open how I feel about live vs online and live players vs online players in a more serious and level manner.
Live vs online: It’s really just a preference. I can completely understand why people would prefer one over the other. For me personally, I need a balance of both. I like grinding online because it’s consistent money with minimum variance and I get in a routine so easily it barley feels like work at all. I also enjoy having the thrill of running deep in a tournament nearly every day.

Meanwhile I need live poker every now and then because I’d go nuts sitting in front of my computer forever. Live poker is enthralling because there’s so many additional elements to the hand. I like being around people and joking around at the table, and only in live poker can you compete for massive first prizes that can change your life, outside stuff like the FTOPS and WCOOP. You also get to travel to new and interesting places whenever you play and meet a ton of cool people. The pace and variance however, are just agonizing.

As far as live vs online players is concerned, I think the whole thing is overblown. Why waste time arguing with each other about how a hand should play out when we can collaborate and come to an optimal understanding? That’s why I’m so excited for Barry Greenstein’s new ‘Red Pro Forum’ over at www.pokerroad.com. It’s a combination of the best live and online players the world over coming together to talk strategy in both high stakes cash and tournament situations, both live and online. Every question I’ve had on that forum is about live play.

It’s no secret that I think live players are consistently leakier at the technical aspects of the game than online players. A ton of live players I know will even admit this, including my poker seminar collaborators Lee Nelson, Joe Hachem, and Dennis Waterman, who have considerable experience in both forms but are mostly live experts. There’s no reason to turn this into some jihad fervor dispute, it should be clear from the way the two forms of poker are played that online players will result with better fundamentals. Online play is structured around numbers and math and ranges with programs that will track every hand you’ve ever played and tell you exactly where you’re gaining and losing equity and by what % or $ amount.

Live players don’t have access to elaborate software to save their hand histories and the skills live poker demands are of a different variety. Sometimes I talk to live players about certain hands, or read their recollection, or simply watch them play on TV, and am stunned by their ability to pick up certain things and read into aspects of what their opponent is doing and saying. I’m impressed with their willingness to go with a read in a situation like that, and the best ones at it make some astounding plays. These days I spend as much time asking live players questions as I do online because my skills in these areas are rather undeveloped and I’m fully aware of it. That said, almost every live player I’ve encountered has pretty noticeable technical leaks, but if they take the steps to clean them up they’ll be even more dominating.

I think for the group of players out there willing to set their ego aside about the issue and see the opposing players information in the spots where it’s quality have the potential to gain a dominance at both forms. This goes for both online and live players, and I you commonly see arrogance in both about the other.

As a guy who spends a ton of time in both arenas of the game I’ve grown to be friendly with a lot of players on each side. One of the most awkward aspects of going to live tournaments is being pulled to interact socially more with one more than the other, and for the most part the two groups do not mix. The live players are often considerably older than the online players, and tend to view them as arrogant kids who are reckless with their tournament lives. Online players see many of the live players as fish due to their technical leaks, and aren’t afraid to verbalize it routinely. There are only a few guys who seem to enjoy hanging out with both sides, and as a guy often in the middle it’s a juggling act.

All of that aside, I will never stop making fun of live players who think they are the shit and continue to make horrendously awful technical plays. You know how I know I’m right about them? Because I can use a calculator.

I was talking to Greg Raymer on skype today about strategy in tournaments and mixed games. While I was playing in a $109 freeze out I played a rather standard hand that ended in massive beratement from the other player and quite a bit of fun conversation.

First the hand:
Poker Stars $100+$9 No Limit Hold'em Tournament - t175/t350 Blinds + t45 - 9 players
The Official 2+2 Hand Converter Powered By DeucesCracked.com

jc0880 (BB): t6890
revheat969 (UTG): t9272
dannygreen1 (UTG+1): t8220
Hero (UTG+2): t5680
Pti4ka_Tucan (MP1): t2710
brettsky678 (MP2): t15120
mike121112 (CO): t11338
BaldGuy (BTN): t15755
Stoweski (SB): t10553

Pre Flop: (t930) Hero is UTG+2 with K A
2 folds, [color=red]Hero raises to t950[/color], [color=red]Pti4ka_Tucan raises to t2665 all in[/color], 1 fold, [color=red]mike121112 raises to t11293 all in[/color], 3 folds, Hero calls t4685 all in

Flop: (t14865) 2 9 Q [color=blue](3 players - 3 are all in)[/color]

Turn: (t14865) 9 [color=blue](3 players - 3 are all in)[/color]

River: (t14865) K [color=blue](3 players - 3 are all in)[/color]

Final Pot: t14865
Hero shows K A (two pair, Kings and Nines)
Pti4ka_Tucan shows Q A (two pair, Queens and Nines)
mike121112 shows J J (two pair, Jacks and Nines)
Hero wins t5940
Hero wins t8925

And then the chat that followed:
STM70 [observer]: nh bond
mike121112: FKING JOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mike121112: why
mike121112: wot u think i had bond
STM70 [observer]: dirty river ther
mike121112: fking spastic

Bond18: i think i haz AK
STM70 [observer]: dude that's a standard play by bond
Bond18: it be the nizzles
Dealer: Stoweski, it's your turn. You have 15 seconds to act
mike121112: so u called for a split nice 1 idiot

mike121112: no its not
mike121112: its a moron play
dannygreen1: these bloody aussies...lol

mike121112: bond wot hand u actually think i had? looks like i have aa
Bond18: on behalf of morons everywhere, i am offended
dan89 x [observer]: lol

STM70 [observer]: Dude he has AK with 15 BB, THAT is standard to get it in

mike121112: not after a re raise and a re re raise idiot
Bond18: is that you hellmuth?

mike121112: bond ur a ****** clearly
Bond18: given entertainment value
mike121112: re t ard

STM70 [observer]: maybe you should start one

FossilMan [Commentator]: Greetings players. Please give me a moment to review the chat log

Bond18: i'll only start a video if mike promises to keep berating me after standard play
STM70 [observer]: lol
mike121112: check the HH

STM70 [observer]: i really enjoy watching your videos bond
STM70 [observer]: keep up the good work

Bond18: oooo you've pissed off the fossilman, you are so ****ed

Bond18: thanks dude

FossilMan [Commentator]: PokerStars requires that people act with respect, and insulting comments are not allowed at the table. Please refrain from such comments in the future

mike121112: FOSSIL MAN CHECK THE HH THEN U SEE WHY IM MAD

FossilMan [Commentator]: Also, having reviewed the HH, I have to agree that bond played the hand 100% correctly.

dannygreen1: lol
dan89 x [observer]: LOL
Bond18: lol
STM70 [observer]: ship it bond
FossilMan [Commentator]: Just an ordinary bad beat.

mike121112: o dear fossil man


mike121112: think about it then talk to me

FossilMan [Commentator]: Have a good night all, and thanks again for playing at PokerStars.com.


STM70 [observer]: and he will still say it's the standard play
mike121112: why is fossil man even here?

mike121112: at least get moderator or sumthing
FossilMan [Commentator]: If any future issues arise, you will have the services of a real Moderator. I'm just filling in for a moment.

Bond18: much like Obi Wan Kinobi, Fossilman can feel a disturbance in the force
FossilMan [Commentator]: Good night all.

FossilMan [Commentator]: Have fun.
mike121112: raymer sucks anways

Fossilowned IMO.

With the combination of Celina being gone for a month, my strict diet, and my needing to get up early in the morning every day, it’s safe to say I don’t have a life and won’t for some time. My daily schedule for all of November looks something like:

6:50am: Wake up, shower. Set out my breakfast of protein bar, water, and skim milk. Maybe an apple.
7am: Fire up as many tables as possible. I won’t stop registering until 1pm.
12pm: Eat lunch. Likely some meat from the grill or a simple pasta heavy on chicken and vegetables and low on actual pasta (must watch those carbohydrates.)
4pm: Have a healthy snack like nuts, fruit, vegetables, or another protein bar.
7pm: Finish playing. I can’t be certain of my exact finish time, but this amount of registering tends to work out to about a 12 hour day.
7:30pm: Go to the gym. In the event it’s a day where the gym is closed I’ll go running or go play tennis.
8:30pm: Return home from the gym. Turn the music up load on my computer, open the door to the patio, and take my pink jump rope (I got it in an airport, I don’t know how either) outside and jump rope until I give up because I suck at jumping rope and I’m still in mediocre cardiovascular shape.
8:45pm: Eat dinner. There’s very low variance in my meal selection, and often I’ll eat grilled meat or pasta again. Sometimes I’ll stir fry some chicken and vegetables with Asian sauces and make a little steamed rice. Rice intake must be kept to a minimum.
9pm: Free time, often resulting in my playing video games and sitting around wondering how much fun other people my age are having right now. Then I reassure myself that other people my age are broke and in my late 20’s when I’ve saved up my money I’ll be the one laughing. Then I feel bad about being a workaholic money driven prick who thinks about life like some big contest.
10:20pm: Attempt to sleep. This has mixed results.

So there you have it. I’m having people come visit during my work day fairly often, but it makes things awkward when I have to kick them out because I “need” to go the gym. I can’t imagine going out any night during this period and risking ruining my sleep schedule or losing my bets, not to mention when you go out people want you to drink and I’m not currently consuming alcohol.

The other night some friends and I went to a restaurant and we were informed there was a bit of a wait for the table. We were told to go to the bar and order some drinks then hang out until the table was ready. I looked at the cooler full of drinks and saw redbulls, so I ordered one (which I should not actually be drinking, due to their high sugar content among other things.) The bartender chick looked at me like I was fucking crazy.

The good news is that at the end of this month is APPT Sydney which promises to be an awesome time and great tournament. A few weeks after that is the Aussie Millions in Melbourne which is my favorite tournament series on the planet and just a great time to be in Australia in general. This year both tournaments look to be extra soft as a result of most online players opting to attend the PCA in January instead and few willing to fly all the way to Australia for a single major tournament. I still remember the first time I attended the Aussie Millions in 2005. That seems like forever ago now. A little under four years later and I’m nowhere close to the same person I was at 20, and even more different as a poker player. I remember walking up to various poker pros I’d seen on TV and introducing myself with awe and admiration. I remember Scotty Nguyen being the nicest guy in the world to me and coming home to brag to my friends with stories like “Scotty Nguyen gave me his free drink card!” Given Scotty’s difficulties getting a drink these days I doubt that’d happen again.

Four years later and I feel older but I know I don’t look it or don’t act it. I’ve watched some of the guys around me who I met in their early and mid 20’s start to grow grey hairs and worry that I’m not too far off. But when I look in the mirror I see the face of the same stupid kid who was amazed by his first trip outside the US (except some resort on the Dominican Republic.) The same kid who drank as much as possible as fast as possible then walked up to girls and hit on them with their boyfriend sitting right there, too drunk to be aware of the taboo. The kid who showed up back at college just 12 hours before classes, having traveled around the world the previous day and telling all his friends that he was going to go back to Australia for six months, or so. The kid who watched Brett Favre play for the packers, Dave Chapelle at his best, and Lewis Black live with his best friend who he hasn’t seen in three years, one shorter than the period he’s seen most in. The kid who didn’t think half of the people he knows are retards on a life long angle shoot.

I never really thought I’d get to where I am. I guess what I mean is, I didn’t really have a plan, and I just sort of went with things however they fell. I never thought I’d be as successful as I am now, but sometimes I wonder what I gave up to get here. I wonder what wealth costs. I wonder what other people my age are doing right now. I wonder why my blog entry suddenly got so emo.