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June 3rd, Las Vegas: I wake up naturally at 10:30am in the house. I take a shower, put on a suit, and go downstairs for breakfast. I am the first one up and sit quietly on my computer while eating cereal. Eventually Sirwatts and SEABEAST wake up and get ready to leave. We’ve all bought in so there’s little rush, and we leave in time to arrive about ten minutes before the event.

I find myself seated in the Miranda room for the beginning of the $1,500 six max no limit hold’em event. We start with 4500 in chips and again I find no familiar faces waiting for me at the table. I play a few small early pots with the 25/50 and wind up talking to a chill guy from Arizona on my left that I see play a flush draw extremely aggressively. He seems pretty aggressive overall, and with that read I get involved in my first major pot:
My stack: ~4000, BB: ~9000, blinds 25/50, I hold TdTh in the SB.
Preflop: Folds to the CO, CO raises to 150, button folds, I call in the SB, BB calls.
Flop: 3s 9s 5c
I check, BB leads 300, CO folds, I call.
Turn: 2c
I check, BB bets 800, I call.
River: Jh
I check probably intending to call if he bets given his image and how many draws blanked off, plus he might think he can value bet a strong nine and it’s questionable whether he’d flop donk sets. He checks behind and when I table my tens he mucks.

We continue chatting between hands and he tells me about the time he was bitten by a rattlesnake at age nine and how it was the most absurdly painful thing imaginable, then about the time a car accident at age 14 left him a liver cut in half from the seatbelt and a one percent chance of living according to his doctor. I tell him I broke a bone once and feel like the lesser man. We talk until the blinds go up, and I get involved again:
My stack: ~5,300, BB: ~7,000, blinds are 50/100, I hold As Ad on the CO.
Preflop: Folds to me on the CO, I raise to 300, two folds, BB calls.
Flop: Qc 6d 3d
BB checks, I bet 400, BB calls.
Turn: 6h
BB checks, I bet 1000, BB calls.
River: 7s
BB checks, I shove for 3500, BB goes into the tank, calls, and flashes a queen when I table my aces then mucks.

After doubling through I steadily bleed chips in small pots for a while. Near the end of the level I find myself involved again with a guy who has been open raising fairly frequently:
My stack: ~8,500, HJ: 3,800, blinds 50/100, I hold AcJd in the BB.
Preflop: UTG folds, HJ raises to 275, folds to me in the BB, I call.
Flop: 2c 3c Tc
I check, HJ bets 325, I checkraise to 1050, HJ shoves for 3500, I call, HJ shows Qc8c and stands up from the table.
Turn: Qs
River: 9h
I tell him nice hand and slide over the necessary chips, then go back to talking to my table mate on the left. We discuss which school is a better party school, Arizona State or Wisconsin. Stories are exchanged. Just a few hands later I am involved again:
My stack: ~5,500, BB: ~2,500, blinds 50/100 I hold AcQc on the HJ.
Preflop: UTG raises to 300, I call, folds to the BB, the BB shoves, UTG folds, I call. BB shows ATo.
Flop: 5d Qh Jh
Turn: 6s
River: 5h
He taps the table and walks away. I stack my chips over 8000. Not long after I get moved tables and find Gobboboy and Pacman on my immediate left. I greet them enthusiastically then naturally start fucking around with both of them. A few orbits into my stay I get involved with Pacman:
My stack: ~8,500, Pacman: ~12,000, blinds 75/150, I hold Kh8h on the button.
Preflop: Folds to me on the button, I raise to 400, SB folds, Pacman calls in the BB.
Flop: T 6 4 rainbow with a heart
Pacman checks, I bet 600, Pacman thinks for a while and checkraises to 1800. I have almost never floated a checkraise in my life, but I think this spot is interesting. He never has two pair, rarely has a ten worth checkraise/calling on a board that has little I can three bet shove, and is aware there are few hands I can bet/3 bet all in. I decide that if I flat him and he’s bluffing he’s going to have to give up the turn a ton since there’s little I can be peeling on. I call.
Turn: 5
Pacman fires out 3,500 and I fold and immediately feel like a retard.

Only a couple orbits after my hero float attempt find myself involved again:
My stack: ~6,000, SB: ~7,500, Button: ~1,100, blinds 75/150 I hold JdJh in the BB.
Preflop: Folds to the button, the button moves all in, the SB quickly reshoves, I move all in immediately. The button tables Q5o, the SB KK.
Flop: K 7 2 rainbow
Turn: X
I shave his hand, have a good laugh with Gobbo and Pacman, and walk away from the table.

I walk over to the Starbucks in the Rio and find TT from 2+2 and Adam Schwartz still sitting in the café where I’d had a coffee on break with them. TT is one of my fellow few haberdashers in poker and we spend a while discussing the best places to get a suit in town. There is a cute blonde girl sitting literally against the outside wall of the shop
“Guys that girl is cute right? I’m gonna go talk to her” I say
“Oh for sure, go for it” says Adam. TT says he doesn’t like the brand of shorts she’s wearing (I can’t remember which)
“Wait, are you crazy? You don’t want me to approach her because she’s wearing straight forward shorts? I mean, she’s genuinely attractive right, how are shorts relevant.”
“Eh, you can do better, I don’t care for her shorts, she won’t interest you.”
“Damn dude that’s crazy talk, I’m going for this.”
Adam is equally confused by TT’s suggestion.

I walk outside the coffee store and take a seat sitting next to her against the wall
“Excuse me, but wouldn’t it be more comfortable to sit down inside the café?”
“Oh well I’m just charging my phone while waiting for someone to come meet me.”
“Ah, a boyfriend playing in the World Series?” (Which is a super common problem with Rio approaches, though it is not recommendable to ask about a boyfriend in most scenarios.)
“Yea”
“Ah alright then I won’t get you in any trouble then, have a good one.”

I walk back into the café and tell the guys I want to go into the city to try and find some better situations to approach. TT says he’s going to the press conference of Mario Botelli and a cocktail party afterward and I can get into plenty of trouble there. I agree to join instantly.

Twenty minutes later we are driving over to the Venetian in his silver Miata and we’re talking about everything. As a result of having spent time in and around the fashion industry he’s one of the best dressed and informed guys I’ve ever met, and knows as much about the goings on in poker as anyone I’ve spoken to. Then we discuss our taste in women and go on at length about preferences. He tells me I will have trouble finding an intelligent and humorous woman in Vegas and that most of the women he’s dated are from out of town.

We arrive at the Venetian and walk over to the atrium near the escalators where they have set up a farmers market. We go upstairs to get a drink, and then rejoin the crowd back downstairs where we meet Entity and Deathdonky from 2+2. Mario Botelli gives a speech of some kind but I don’t hear a word because I’m trying to tell if the woman in the blue dress in front of me is with the guy standing next to her. When I walk up next to her I find the situation to be much worse; she is wearing an enormous diamond wedding ring. I say nothing.

After the speeches finish we go over to the cocktail party. The guy to girl ratio is horrible so I just drink a couple glasses of red wine to get me in the right mind set for the kick ass dinner we’re about to have. We decide to leave the party due to the lack of women to talk to. We go upstairs to the restaurant area and stand out by the bar and I spot a group of four attractive women sitting at a table in the outside area of the next restaurant over. I tell Adam I’m going in and walk out of the bar, over to the restaurant, past the host, then straight up to the table and say to the four girls who I now realize are way older and plastic looking than I thought
“Hi girls, I’m sorry to interrupt dinner but I was at the bar over there with my friends and we were all remarking how gorgeous this table all looks tonight. We’re about to head down to dinner fairly soon, but you all should meet up my group later, I can assure you my friends are more outgoing and interesting than I am, I know I’m quite a bore.”
I make a fair bit of small talk about where they’re from, why we’re all in town, and crack a joke or something before I get them to agree to meet us out. I take out my phone and direct it at the younger looking one and have her plug her number in while I continue to talk. I thank them and walk away. I get back to the bar. I tell the guys we will not be intending to meet them out for drinks.

We go to dinner at a restaurant in the Venetian that is having a special three course set menu for the special Botelli farmer’s market launch thing. I see Gavin Griffen and what turns out to be Hoss_TBF across the restaurant and we have them come over to join our table. We get some wine and enjoy a hell of a meal. I’m getting a bit tipsy and TT offers me a ride home. I accept.

When we arrive I get out of the car and tell him I’m going to drag his ass out for a big night on the town soon. When I walk inside I find Stevo and Joel waiting for me. They say I should call the weed delivery guy about getting an order. Stevo gives me the number and I call the guy up and tell him I’m a poker player in Vegas for the WSOP and that some Canadian friends (such a good people) recommended that I call him for “supplies”. He says he lives only minutes away and will be over shortly. I play a game of pool with Joel while we wait; he thrashes me.

Five minutes after the call the dealer shows up with a cooler of weed. He has a variety of different types that he lays out
“Head high, body high, fuck I can’t tell the difference” he says. We buy a bag of each kind. I say to him “I’m going to ask you what I ask all my drug dealers, wanna take a picture with me?” He has a cool ass sense of humor and tells me to feel free to call anytime we need a delivery. What a lovely situation.

We roll up a joint and three of us smoke it. It’s a fairly high functioning high so I start ranting and raving about getting us food, putting meat on the grill, and what sauces I’m going to “Lay all over that shit, boo yah!”

We drive to the grocery store and I stumble about the aisles high and giddy. I grab all kinds of healthy munchies (including the raspberries I am currently eating.) I get pork and steak for the BBQ.

Back at home I spend time marinating the meat and we fire up the grill. And it is a damn good decision.