Its 3:30pm on the day of event 13 and I’m in my room writing. In the last two days I lasted a total of about 5 hours in 2 tournaments. Lets find out how I got here.

At the start of event 12, the 1500 6 max tournament, I ended up getting seated with iweargoggles and a close friend, Omaha specialist Van Marcus. About 2 rounds in the following hand comes up:
I raise KJo when folded to me in the SB to 150, BB (a guy who is almost certainly a recreational player) calls for 100 more.
Flop: Kd Jh 9h
I lead out 225, he raises to 650, I mull things over a brief moment then move in for about 2600 total. Now he tanks hardcore, counts out his chips, and finally calls, flipping over K9. The KJ holds and I’m over 5500 straight away.

A couple rounds later a button with about 4500 who seems moderately aggro raises to 150, SB folds, and I reraise TsTc in the BB to 500. Button calls.
Flop: 9 7 4 two hearts
I lead out 650, he calls.
Turn: 2c
I bet 1200, he calls.
River: 2d
I mull this one over. If I’m betting, I’m putting him in. If I’m checking I’m obviously calling. This guy doesn’t seem like a typical live fish, would he raise me with a flush draw+overs on flop/turn? Idk, live players are pretty weak. Will he call if I put him in on the river with 88/66? Again I’m not really sure, live players fold to much. I decide to check hoping he either feels safe and bets with a mid pair and thinks I was shooting overs (otherwise, why would he call 2 streets if he didn’t think I might be AJ+ish) or bluffs a missed flush draw, but goggles thought betting is better. He’s likely right, deep stack play OOP is a weakness of mine. I check river, he checks back and my TT beats his 88. Blegh, def missed value.

At this point I now have in the low 7000 area. Both goggles and van bust pretty early, within about 90 minutes of play, and my table is now full of what appears to be mostly standard live players. Some 30ish looking guy with a thick southern accent is moved to the table, and I realize that the moment a person with a southern accent speaks I immediately think their a fish without any evidence to support it. Whatever, their education systems are worse, I’m just playing the percentages right?

For the next hourish, every hand I would play would go as follows: Get dealt a medium strength hand like QJ, JT, 87dd, 67ss, A8hh. I raise 3X, 1 or 2 players call. Then I totally whiff the flop, but get an awesome board to C bet, like A/K then X X rainbow, so I bet, then make a huge raise, I fold and they show their flopped TPTK or super nuts or whatever. For some reason, my table was REALLY in a showing mood, I guess because they ALWAYS had it and liked to banter back and forth how they never bluffed.

In one hand I raised JhTd on the hijack, CO calls, BB calls.
Flop: Qh 8h 3h
Action checks around.
Turn: Jd
BB checks, I bet out 75% pot, CO folds, BB thinks about it a moment, then folds. BB starts talking to guy on his left in a voice loud enough for me to hear (though I don’t think intentionally) about how he can’t call with his big draw there cause that guy down there doesn’t give his chips away. Next round I decided to see how firmly he believed that.
With about 5500 stacks each, the button (BB from previous hand) raises to 300, SB calls, and I call with KJo.

Flop: A 6 3
I check, he bets 400, I make it 1200 hoping he thinks I never spew, and he insta jams. I fold and he shows me AK. Of course.

We go on break and after paying blinds and losing more chips in this raise, c bet, get mega raised, fold, get shown huge hand, style of play I had developed, I am moved to a new table with about 2900 left. Sheets is on my table, though he has no idea who I am and I really don’t look like your standard internet player. After paying a round of blinds, I pick up 66 and open jam 13 BB’s and everyone folds.

A few hands later I pick up 88 in the BB. It folds to sheets on the button who with a roughly 4500-5000ish stack makes it 550. SB folds and I jam for 2900. Sheets tanks forever, puts his hands all over his head, sighs, then calls with AT.
Flop: K Q 4
Turn: 5
River A
Thus ends event 12 for me. I spend the afternoon meeting up with various friends, and drop $200 at craps that night. Man I’m so high stakes balla when it comes to house edge.

Event 13 at the WSOP is the $5000 PL Holdem world championship. At my starting table I am seated with Josh Arieh on my right, and Dewey Tomko on my left, with nobody else at the table I recognize. This is a pretty sweet set up, the LAG on my right, the nit on my left, and the rest nobodies. We start with 10k chips at 25/50 blinds.

The first 2 hours are of basically nothing interesting. I try to see cheap flops with suited stuff or pairs in position. At one point arieh in MP2 raises to just 125 and I look down at AK. The blinds are very loose so I decided to reraise this time, and make it 350. Folds back to Josh, who calls.
Flop: 8 6 4 rainbow
Check, 450, he calls
Turn: 4
check check
River: 3
he bets quite strong, I let him have it.
Through the first 2 hours Josh manages to spew off about 8.5k of his stack playing aggro and making 2nd best calls, and Dewey manages to increase his to like 4k playing SUPER nitty. A lot of the rest of the table appears quite bad.

In one hilarious hand, Dewey limps utg, utg+1 limps, and it folds to a bad player in MP1. He folds, another guy calls, SB completes, BB checks. Flop QQ5, dewey bets and takes it down. MP1 starts questioning anyone who’ll listen “Hmm, I had Q7 there, really woulda hit it good. Hey would you have dropped Q7 there with 2 limpers? How bout you? Man I woulda hit it so good.”

Another amusing hand with the same player came after the break and we were at 75/150. In the hijack I raise 57hh to 450 with about 8k in my stack. A decent player on the button calls, SB folds, BB calls. I have pretty tight image.
Flop: A Q 7 rainbow
I thought BB made a checking motion, then fired 750. Apparently, BB had not in fact checked, my bad, so my bet was drawn back in. Now BB goes into the tank, and donks FULL POT into me, so I fold and button folds. BB turns over AQhh and starts cursing himself, saying he thought for sure I would raise him.

After this I fold for like 3 rounds straight with just awful awful hands. I finally pick up a hand in MP2, 77, and UTG+1 who is a fairly bad stationish player makes it 450. It folds to me with about 6500 in my stack and I call. All others fold.

Flop: Kh 7h 2c
He leads 700, I raise to 2100, he deliberates, then folds. I think raising this flop is very std, as he never gets away from a decent K, will shut down with JJ/TT/QQ if I flat call him anyway, and if he has a good K and turn is a heart he might not stack off.

A round later I’m around 7500ish in MP1 with AcJc. It folds to me and I make it 450. Mr. “Can I play Q7?” calls in LP, and BB calls.

Flop: A J 9 two diamonds
BB checks, I fire 750, Mr. Q7 makes it 3000, BB folds. I think things over a moment and move in. Mr. Q7 quickly calls with AK. Awesome
Turn: 6
River: K

Aweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesome! I am so good at this game. I make the walk of shame and go to find Stevepa and tell him what’s happened. I am beginning to question whether he believes me and secretly wonders if I’m hardcore spewing. I guess I have Josh Arieh and Dewey Tomko as witnesses. So its 4pm now, I’m going to meet up with WarDekar for some food and get some [censored] done. Tomorrow is 1500 NL holdem, which promises to have 8 gazillion entrants. Better luck tomorrow perhaps? Please? Are you there poker gods?

WSOP trip report part 5, Grounddonk Day, Event 10

Is there really anyone out there who didn’t enjoy the classic Bill Murray comedy ‘Groundhog day’ which sees Murray’s character reliving the same enjoyable yet torturous day over and over and over, always with the same end result of him waking up in his bed having to do it all over again? The film was funny, poignant, and sweet, and in the end we find out to literally get forward in his life (though the lesson/situation is obviously metaphorical) that Murray must become a better man/decent person. Apparently, I still have some self improvement to go.

Today was the 2k NL event, which I registered for last night so I could sleep a little later. I get over to my table and sit down next to a young guy I will later find out is the pride of NVG, TStoneMBD. On his left is super lag/semi donk cash games player Amnon Fillipe. TStone would bust fairly early, but Fillipe was on my left all day and because of his position and unwillingness to fold, gave me substantial trouble. In the first couple levels I sat most tight though tried to see some flops during the 25/50 level and value town people while the bad players were still in, but nothing really came together. By the first break I’d put my stack from 4000 to 4400. When we come back and blinds are 100/200 I am barely keeping my head above water at like 3800 after paying a couple rounds of blinds and having very little in the way of playable hands. Finally about a half hour into the level I find JJ in the BB. It folds around to a short button who jams, and the SB who’s also somewhat short rejams, and I obviously rejam. Button shows K9, SB 77, and may JJ holds to put me around 7k. By the time we reach 100/200 with 25 ante, I have managed to very slowly grow my stack to about 8200. I have a super tight image when the following (obviously SUPER non standard) hand comes up:
UTG is a really bad/loose player who likes to limp a lot but often gives up his limps quite easy. UTG+1 is Shaundeebs best friend GB2005, an online regular who obviously noticed my tight image. UTG limps, UTG+1 limps, and it folds to me on the CO. I decide with over 1000 out there and my super tight image to raise any 2, and look down at T5o and make it 1400 to go. Unfortunately, Fillipe decides to be a jerk off on the button and flat call, blinds fold, UTG goes “oh wait, did he call? Okay I call to” then GB2005 decides with so much out, he might as well call. Awesome, I am SO smart.

Flop A 2 3

Wow, I could not ask for a better bluffing board since fillipe is realistically only person who can have an A, and even that’s fairly unlikely. UTG checks, UTG+1 checks, I fire 2400 (you can c bet so tiny in live), fillipe folds, UTG fold, GB2005 folds. Sweet.

A few hands later I wake up with AA on the button. An aggro young player raises the 100/200 blinds to 750 in MP2, and the hijack calls. The hijack was a bad middle aged player who post flop had shown a propensity to attempt hopeless bluffs whenever given the opportunity. The CO folds, and I make it 2750 on the button. Both blinds fold, the OR folds, and the HJ calls.
Flop: 8 4 4 rainbow
HJ checks, I decide to check back.
Turn: 8, full rainbow
This all looks very safe to me. HJ bets 3500, I mull things over a moment then call.
River: 9
HJ counts some chips out, looks at my stack, then checks. I move in and he looks annoyed and folds. At this point my stack is quite healthy around 20k


A few hands later GB2005 would bust in a moderately amusing hand. MP1 raises the now 150/300 blinds to 1100, Fillipe calls in LP like he often does, and in the BB GB2005 reraises to 4500, leaving himself around 3500. The original raiser folds, and Fillipe tanks, then calls. GB2005 stops the dealer before he can burn and turn, then moves in blind.

Flop: T 8 5

GB2005 is all in, and Fillipe calls showing KThh. GB2005 turns over AJ and Fillipe immediately begins insulting him about how awful moving all in blind is. “That’s the worst play you can make in holdem, how do you expect to get a fold out of me like that?” Fillipes KT holds and GB2005 starts shooting back “the worst play in holdem is calling there pre flop.”
Fillipe through this kind of “excellent” play, has managed to build quite a stack for himself. Live pro’s are so good.

We go on break and I am feeling good. My table is nowhere near as soft as it’s been in previous days, but it’s still better/softer than your average online table. When we come back blinds are 200/400 with 50 ante.

A few hands into the round I look down at my hand in the BB and again am greeted by AA. It folds to MP2 who makes it 1500, hijack calls, then SB jams for like 11k. I ejaculate, then rejam, with both other players folding. He turns over AKdd and although he flops a flush draw I manage to hold.

The next hand in the SB I look down at QQ. God I’m so good at this game. The player who raised the previous hand, who at this point is fairly short, open raises to 1500 again, it folds to me and I make it 4800 which is almost all in for him. BB folds, he jams, and I hold vs AK. At this point I am around 38 or 39k, which will be about average stack going into the money. I’m feeling very good at this point, perhaps today is the day where things are going to go very right for me at the WSOP, they have so far. Hahahaha, stupid naive Bond18.

After winning these pots but still having a very tight image, I attempt to try and capitalize. A loose/aggressive button (the guy who bluffed into me with my AA) raises to the button to 1100, the SB folds, and I make it 3500 with K5ss, hoping he’ll remember how bad things turned out last time he called my reraise. He tanks, then reraises 70% of his stack to 8500. Charming, I drop out.

I open raise KJo on the CO and the button, who’s fairly new to the table, jams his 18 BB’s. Okay, fine, have it.

A fairly weak player is moved to my right and keeps min raising when he opens in LP. Both times somebody has popped his min raise, he folds. It folds around to him on the button and he barely over min raises to 900. I make it 2900 in the SB with Q2hh. BB folds, and he calls. Flop 8 4 3. Well at least he probably didn’t hit. I fire out 3600, which he quickly jams over. He would later tell me in what seemed a very honest confession, that he flopped a set.

We go on break again and I am back in the high 20 thousands. We come back with a half hours play before going to dinner, with 300/600 blinds and 75 antes. First hand back I raise KhQd 9 handed in EP to 1800 and the terrible player who “flopped a set” calls in the BB.

Flop: Js 5s 2h
He checks, I fire 2400, he calls.

Turn: Ts
He checks, definitely not my card but I do pick up outs if he doesn’t have a flush. I check back.

River: 7d
He thinks things over, then checks. I decide there’s very little I can represent at this point, and obviously a J is never folding, so I check back. He shows 9s9h, fair enough.

A round later I get AhKd in EP and make it 1800. Fillipe calls me in position, we’re both pretty decent sized but not huge stacks. He’s reraised me quite a few times pre, as well as cold called.
Flop: 8 7 7 rainbow
Blegh, being OOP here sucks so bad. I bet 2400, he flats.
Turn: 6
I check and give up to his bet of about 60% of his stack.

By the time we go to dinner this disastrous half hour has knocked me down to 17k. I go to dinner with a sizeable troupe of 2p2’ers including stevepa, adanthar, mlagoo, iweargoggles, shaundeeb, wardekar, dawgz, and the latest money bags, Thayer. Dinner is a good/social/relaxing time and when I get back to the table I feel pretty at ease and am hoping to repair my stack and make a run. About 10 minutes after we get back I look down at KK in EP. I make it 1800 (same blinds, a half hour more) and the button shoves for 11,500. Blinds fold, I auto call, and he shows AK.
Flop:
A 5 3, A on the door.
Turn/river: Not a king.
Blaaaaaaaaaaaargh, like 5500 left at 3/600. I pay my blinds without a hand to jam, and as I’m about to throw the ante in for my button we are informed that the table is breaking. I am shipped over to a new table where I am obviously seated UTG. After posting my ante I have 4100 left.

The dealer throws me my first card, the Ac! Come on dealer, there’s a bunch of outs in there that give me a shoveable hand, and at these antes some might argue all of them. I look down at the 2nd, the Ad!! I jam my 4100 in the middle, and it folds to the SB who calls with QQ. My AA holds and I’m back well over 8000. I pay my blinds, after which blinds go up to 4/800 with 100 ante. I fold my button to a raise, and on the CO find QJo. The action folds to me, I jam, and pick up blinds+antes. Now I’m a bit over 10k.

I fold my HJ next hand, but in MP2 it folds to me with KQhh and I jam again. Again it folds to me and I am back around 12k. I fold for a round more until I am dealt A9o on the button. It folds to the CO with just under 8k chips, who jams. Hmm, I think this over. CO is a moderately young, European guy, who from the very limited information I had, seemed a little to loose. I ask him how loose he’s jamming, and he smiles and says “ask all them” and points at the others. They all smile. Alright, I rejam, and the blinds fold. The all in player flips up KJo, and my A9 is in front.

Flop: J 6 5, J on the door.
Turn/river: Not important. I am left with like 2400 chips with a 100 ante. I fold to raises with total junk hands until I find 67cc with 1900 left and it folds to me. I jam and run into JJ. GG me.

Yet again I found myself in the tournament with a comfortable/sizeable stack, and yet again it vanished before my eyes. I’ve been doing review sessions of my play (online) in my off time, and I feel like I’m slowing things down well on the tables and thinking over my decisions. A lot of what happened today very little could be done about on either players side of things. I attempted 2 resteals, 2 utg steals (live players hardcore fear utg raises), and a very standard amount of LP raises, if not a little less with Fillipi constantly calling/playing back. I feel I’m adjusting to live pretty well, though sometimes the slow pace, boredom, and peoples moronic [censored] can be quite bothersome.

Anyway, tomorrow is the $1500 short handed event, which I’m getting a major hard on just thinking about. I mean come on, short handed, with LIVE players? Does it get any better than that? Hopefully, tomorrow doesn’t have that strange familiar feeling…

WSOP trip report part 4, Return of the Rebuy, event 8
I had to stand in line for about 20 minutes to register for today’s 1000 rebuy’s tournament, which resulted in my being late to the table by a couple hands. I showed up to my table and looked around, mostly middle aged or old guys, and only ONE had rebought to 4k straight away. I asked the table out loud “has there been any action here or what?” and an old man jokingly replied “oh yea, tons just before you came over.”
”We’ll see if I can’t change that.”
First hand I am dealt in I’m on the button with 99. Mp2 limps, CO limps, and I jam, which seems pretty standard for me in a rebuy tournament. The blinds fold and MP2 snap calls, then CO folds. Mp2 flips up his….KK.
Flop: Q J 5
Turn: 9 DING!
River: Q
He seems VERY frustrated with me and single rebuys. I shoot up to 6k in chips (buy in+rebuy=4000) and spend the rest of the 25/50 hour desperately trying to loosen my table up to no avail. I tried to make every spew donk seeming play WITHOUT actually being a spew donk. I would raise in EP with stupid hands like Q8, I would limp behind limpers with any 2 on the button and show when I c bet 63o and it’s checked to me, I limped UTG in the dark. I would never fall in love with my hand post and for the most part, no matter how many retarded hands I showed they did not adjust.

It’s become very clear to me that with 90+ % of live players, no matter how manic you are they will just refuse to adjust. They simply believe tight/weak is right and eventually you will blow up into them and their well layed trap of waiting 3 hours to get you will come to fruition. By the 50/100 blind level I realized I really needed to slow down as raisig pre then c betting was actually fairly expensive, and people were short enough they realized they shouldn’t/couldn’t fold to the c bets as much. At this point I have about 5000. The table refuses to loosen up so I basically just go into rock mode, and if I can hit a hand I know I might actually get paid with my moderately insane image.
I lose 600 when I raise 3 weak limpers on the button with 88 and unfortunately 2 of 3 call. Flop Q53 and a super straight forward/bad player donks potish into me, I fold, and the other guy CR’s. By the time we reached the last hand before the break I was back to like 4000 and some.
The last hand I am on the CO with A9o and a fairly weak but not total spastic player limps MP2, then a INCREDIBLY AWFUL player limps hijack. I make it 550 hoping they both just give up before the break or that if the awful player calls he’ll c/f flop like normal. It folds back to MP2 who folds, but incredibly awful guy calls.

Flop: J T 8
he checks, I bet 650, he calls.
Turn: 9
Blargh. Well, I know for almost certain if he doesn’t have it he’ll fold, on the other hand this board is so ugly. Either way, I think my hands showdown value is VERY weak and this is the kind of guy who will check call a J/T/8 on this flop pretty often.
He checks, I bet 1000, he jams, I fold for my last like 1300 and he shows me KQ. Awesome.
Now that we’re on break I’m allowed to take a rebuy under 2000, plus I can take a double add on. In total I am in for $5000 and my stack goes back to 7300ish.

We come back from the break and I tighten the [censored] up and play basically honest though a little extra blind stealing because the 3 players on my left are INCREDIBLY tight/weak. One of them, during the period, tanked pre flop in an AIPF spot with KK while getting 3 to 1 vs one of the other SUPER nits. The super nit of course had AA.

A little while in, the aforementioned incredibly bad player (with the KQ) completes in the SB and I check 22 in the BB. With antes I’d likely raise him, and maybe I should have here?
Flop 2 A Q and I am perplexed. He checks, and since he just completed I really expect this to have whiffed his range so I check back praying he picks up a piece or shoots at me.
Turn: 8
He bets 600. I raise to 1800, he jams, I call.
He shows AQo, AWESOME complete.
River: 5
I am up around 11 or 12k now and feeling better about things. I continue to play a mostly straight forward but extra aggressive game, and lost about 1200 chips to a short stacks jam which I called and lost A4hh<QTo with. When the following hand came up, I have around 10-11ish k.
I hold JTo on the button. Mp2 limps, folds to me, I limp, SB completes, BB checks.
Flop: 9 8 7 two hearts, I have none.
SB checks, BB bets 500, Mp2 folds, I raise to 1700, SB folds, BB jams for 6500ish more. I obv snap call. He shows 99, not my favorite hand for him to have.
Turn: J
River: 7
*Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh* I am down to about 2800ish after this, and we go on break. When we come back blinds are 150/300 with 25 ante. Fairly soon after the break I jam A8cc in MP, and the BB calls with AJo. I turn the nut flush and am moderately back in the game. Unfortunately, roughly 18ish BB’s would be about as good as I did for the rest of the day. For quite some time I saw almost no hands until I was moved tables, where after the blinds went up and I raise-folded one hand in LP to a nit’s jam, I was starting to get short again. I paid the blinds again, then found AK utg with about 11 BB’s and jammed. A round later I found 99 in LP and jammed and was called by AK, then held. Again I am kinda back in the game and again I go super card dead, try and stay tight with my fairly awkward stealing stack, and when I do try to 3X something of medium strength some player who has been super weak wakes up with a monster and jams.

I somehow last to the dinner break like this, where after going for Indian with Steve/Sirwatts I come back from the break with like 6000 at 3/600. I pay a round of blinds/antes and go down to like 4500ish. I am at a basically new table (moved right before the break) and there are a couple nits on my left. The entire table in fact is REALLY awful outside one guy who is like, moderately awful. I jam TT in LP and get the blinds back to 5800. Next hand I jam K4hh in LP and get the blinds. It goes on like this for a while, folding for a round or two with zero legit hands, then jamming in LP with a super wide range at 10 BB’s and not being called.
Eventually Kathy Liebert gets moved to my table and she is SUUUUPER short. Early on she jams for like 1400 at 3/600 with 75 ante and the SUPER DUPER DUUUUUUPER bad BB folds for like 800 more with a gazillion to 1. This was a very old guy who was insanely bad, and was that special breed of player who managed to be WAAAAY to weak/tight and WAAAAAAAAAAAY to weak/loose at the same time. Although that makes absolutely no sense, if you’ve played much in the way of live tournaments, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

A round later the blinds go up to 4/800 and in early position Kathy liebert raises 1675 of her 1700 chips leaving one green left on her cards. A guy in seat 10 asks, in a fairly soft and quizzical nature “why didn’t you just put it in?” Kathy then takes this as some form of insult and retorts “I don’t have to put it in! This is what I want to raise” Then the dealer becomes confused “wait, is this an all in?” Then people on the table begin chiming in “well its basically an all in, it should be an all in” This goes on for quite some time with the dealer counting down her chips and people getting confused and her getting insulted then people trying to clarify with her that they weren’t trying to insult her. I stand up from the table and waltz around, telling anyone who’ll listen “this is what I [censored] hate about live poker, this is just ridiculous.” This whole matter is just so absurd, and yet it takes several minutes. Eventually some guy calls her, and on a board of like 56863 it goes check/check the whole way down and Kathy flips up TT and the guy AQhh. I guess she missed a 25 chip value bet? Who knows, it’s live, he probably would have folded.
A round later I have stolen my way up to 10500 when the SUPER DUPER DUUUUUUUUPER bad player limps UTG+3 and it folds to me on the hijack. I look down at 55. He’s limped an awful lot so it doesn’t worry me, and it seems most of his super loose awful play has been post flop and not pre. I decide with 3000 in the pot to jam. The guy on my left rejams for like 9800 and it folds back to the bad guy who folds. The guy on my left shows 66 and dominates my 55, plus he flops a set, so I am down to 700. I get 76dd the next hand and the guy on my right with 20k stack open raises to 4/800 blinds to 5000. Yes sir, I’ll take that protection. He flips, up…AA. So very well played Mr. AA. He flops a set and that’s GG for me.

I went over to the SNG area to try play one but there’s a huge line, no interest list for specific stakes, and the game that goes off is decided by asking the first person in line what they want to play. Somehow, their organization has gotten WORSE from last year when the SNG area was actually fairly efficient, so I decide to [censored] it and head up stairs to write this literal masterpiece and perhaps watch a movie or something. Last I saw sirwatts and stevepa were both still in, with stevepa having a pretty good sized stack and sirwatts shortish, but who knows.

WSOP report part 3, The Devil in Miss Elizabeth, events 3 and 5
After a quick day 2 bust out in the 5k event (that was highly uneventful seeing as I won zero chips and had nothing even close to a debatable situation) I was looking forward to what promised to be a very soft field in the Sunday $1500 PL holdem event.

My first time was highly chatty and active, with lots of limping, raising, and people stacking each other by being TOTALLY incapable of folding big pairs no matter how god awful the board was for them. I went from 3000 to 4500ish in the following hand 8 handed:

UTG folds, utg+1 calls, I call for 50 with JTss, 1 more caller, SB completes, BB checks.

Flop: As 9h Td
checks to me and I fire 175 seeing as 3 of 4 seemed very unlikely for an A having checked, and the other limpers range is huge. It folds around to the open limper, who calls.
Turn: 9s
He checks, I check back.
River: 7s, he bets 250, I raise to 800, he calls and shows AQo. Nice open limp/flop check sir.

I get moved to my 2nd table which is the same spaz fest and a round or two look down at AA. A very bad/spewy player limps for 100, I make it 400, folds to him and he calls.

Flop: Q 9 4 rainbow
he checks I fire 750, he deliberates and calls.

Turn:
He bets 2000, I jam 1200 more, he calls showing AQ and I double to 9k. Wow people love open limping AQ live. I get my stack close to 10k when the following hand comes up vs the same awful villain.
I am UTG+1 holding QQ and raise 75/150 blinds to 450. A average/badish player with also a largish stack of like 8 or 9k calls, and the bad player in the BB with about 3400 pots it, I re pot it, the other player folds (his AK) and the BB calls off the tiny amount that wasn’t in. He shows 66. Two players admit to having folded a 6. Awesome.
Board: 2 7 9 5………….8
Charming. Back to about 7ish. I play numerous small pots then find a way to get some of my chips back from the spewtard (who had obv already shipped back half to the rest of the table.
I hold 75dd at 75/150 with about 7500. UTG limps, I limp behind, 2 more limpers, SB completes, BB (spewer) checks. I don’t think this limp is feasible/profitable in most online tournaments, in this one considering nobody liked open raising, I’m pretty sure it is.
Flop: 7s 7h 8s
SB checks, BB bets out like 400, utg folds, I make it 1400, folds back to him, he jams, I call. He turns over 9T for a very much so draw, but blanks twice and I get back to 10k. Right about then I got moved tables.

I stroll over to my new table and lo and behold in seat 10 is the scourage of NVG, Shannon Elizabeth. She’s sitting with a fairly short stack, and obviously has numerous people coming over to update her stack. When she enters a pot almost assuredly some jackass with an annoying accent will say something when she bets/raises like “aww hell, yer to purty to knock out, u can have it.” She seemed nice/talkative enough though, and managed not to angle shoot anyone. This table again was extremely weak outside a solid internet player on my right, who’s online handle was something like ‘johnster’, he seemed like a cool guy. I play various small pots at this table, and lose a few chips with JJ to what I believe to be a big pair, which I will post in HSMTT. It’s been hard to find hands to post because they are often very straight forward or against total morons so very little thought process is involved. I was playing moderately loose though by no means raising every hand, and the player to my left had a huge stack and was super weak with open limps. He probably limped roughly 2/3 times a round. Unfortunately, he also reraised me pot 3 times when I opened, and showed AA twice. I know he was not bluffing the time he didn’t show. Phil Hellmuth was on the table to our left, and at one point leaped from his chair throwing it over screaming “GAAAAAAAAAHD!! HOW MANY BEATS ARE YOU GUYS GONNA PUT ON ME!??!! GAAAAAAHD!”

At this point I decided to recant what is one of the most popular stories amongst Madison poker players, perhaps Badgerpro has heard this one if he’s played some of the older guy bar games. Back in the 80’s at a cash game Phil was acting like his usual sense and one regular who’d just had enough lept up and hit him square in the face, laying Phil out over a pool table. This story comes up at least once a game, the guy who hit him is in his 40’s now and I’m pretty sure it’s the proudest moment of his life.
I continue to play and lose small pots, with no real significant or interesting spots. With no antes it really wasn’t that appropriate to play excessively loose, though I still stole blinds from a couple of the weakest players on my left. A bit later with about 9k, I raised the 1/3 blinds to 800 with KQo in MP2 or 3, and the young short stack from the JJ hand I’ll post jammed for like 1800 total a couple spots behind. Folds to me, I call, and he flips up JTss quoting “well, I can’t wait forever” He turns a flush and I’m knocked close to 7k. A couple hands later at 1/3 blinds utg limps. It folds to me in MP with AdTd and I had to deliberate. UTG has limped a couple times before, but never utg, and he seemed to be kinda considering raising then settling on limping. My stack felt awkward for raising, but folding seemed nity, so I limped back. The guy behind me limps, then the short stack with 600 behind him goes all in. Shannon calls, the SB calls, folds, UTG calls and its back to me. At this point I’m now sure UTG doesn’t have it as he woulda iso’d so I pot it. Everyone folds out (obv) and I have the short stack all in, unfortunately he has JJ. Then two guys admit to folding A’s. Awesome. The table looks at me like I’m crazy. Tony Ma in seat one goes “what are you doing!??” I roll my eyes and say “indeed, what am I doing?”
“What ARE you doing?” he repeats. I laugh at him, he laughs at me, and the J’s hold. Tony Ma apparently has a reputation for giving dealers a hard time, and his shot at me would not be forgotten.
A round or two later a hand is dealt out and there is action in progress. As they are close to going to the flop, the dealer drops a card in the muck and fails to realize it, then it gets mixed in. Tony Ma remarks “wait, there’s an extra card in the muck!!” The dealer asks if anyone saw the card, they did not. He asks if anyone knows which it is, they don’t. Since little can be done, there’s already been action, and nobody has seen the card, the dealer is about to deal the flop but Tony Ma insists on stopping the action and getting a floor ruling. As a guy who normally 8 tables online with zero stoppage, having some [censored] halt the game so he can get a ruling that is a 1 billion % foregone conclusion is incredibly annoying. The floor comes over, asks the obvious questions, then says “well guys, sorry, but given that theirs action we’re just gonna have to deal it, hope that’s not a huge deal.”
I look up at him and with a half smile say “Sir, I am outraged” the table laughs but he takes me serious “You are?” I break into laughter, “no I’m not serious man. If I’m outraged at anything it’s that some jerk off can call you over for a totally foregone conclusion when you very likely have better things to do.” The table laughs, the dealer laughs, the floorman laughs, but Tony Ma is unamused.

A bit after this “Devil Fish” David Ulliot came over to the table and began blatantly hitting on Shannon Elizabeth and asking her to come to dinner. She at first begins with some excuse about perhaps still being in the tournament, not sure when we’re getting done, even though they had already told us. He continues to spit his game, telling her about the various places he’ll take her. She seems to reluctantly agree, and says “why don’t you give me your number, and I’ll call you when I’m all set here.” He gives it to her and she punches it in to her phone. Hmm, I seem to recall this trick from my single days. Well done Devil Fish, I certainly hope at your age I still have the stamina to be tournament poker player, and a guy who harasses C movie stars half my age for what will be an incredibly awkward and platonic evening.

After the Devilfish leaves, I witnessed what was the two most retarded folds I’ve ever seen in my life IN THE SAME [censored] HAND. The action goes as follows. A short stack on the CO raises to 800, Shannon calls on the button, SB folds, BB calls.
Flop: Jh 9c 3h
BB checks, short stack bets pot leaving himself 300 chips. Shannon then calls, then looks over at his stack and goes “oh, oops, if I’d known you only had 300 left I would have just put you in, sorry.” The BB also calls.
Turn: 5h
The BB leads 2000. The shortstack deliberates THEN FOLDS. “Might be a bad play” he says “but I’m still in the tournament.” 4 to 1 this guy wins a bracelet before me. Now on to Shannon, who thinks things over and shoves for 3000 more. The BB looks saddened, then lifts his cards up to look at them. The guy on his left catches a look and his eyes nearly explode. The BB reluctantly folds, and Shannon drags a nice pot. The guy on his left FREAKS, “he just folded a queen high flush!!” The table looks at him and he shrugs, mumbling something about probably being beat. Shannon thinks he’s lying until we tell her the guy on the left actually saw it. She finds this quite enjoyable.
A round or two later the blinds go up to 200/400 and I have around 5500. It folds to the hijack, captain fold Q high flush, who raises to 1200. It folds to me in the BB with AKo, and I repot for most of my stack. He goes all in and flips up AKhh.
Flop: 8d Th Qh
turn: 6h
Awesome. GG ladies and gents, at least I was busted by a true expert who completely outplayed me.
I get to sleep at a good hour that night after a cigar and drinks with friends, and wake up fairly refreshed for today’s 1500 limit event.

Could I write up a whole bunch of fairly pointless and straight forward hands from the limit tournament? Sure, but it wouldn’t be very interesting. I faced almost zero real decisions outside one hand where I made a thin turn value bet on a scary board and checked back on the river deciding it was very unlikely a worse hand called 2 bets and there was a [censored] ton that beat me, and my hand was good. I managed to fairly quickly 3X my stack again trough finding some good hands (AA for good pot, two pair) and playing tight. In limit tournaments, your ability to be creative is almost zero, and in ones where people play bad and hand you chips by constantly flat calling out of position or open limping you just can’t get that out of line. My descent started when I raised AA in EP, and the BB was only caller.
Flop: K 8 2, with two hearts and I had Ah
Check/bet/raise/3 bet/call.
Turn: 5h
he donk bets, I call.
River: Td
He bets, I call he shows 79hh.

Later I raised AKo utg+2, and MP2 3 bet me (“Sooners” online, a very nice and fun guy at the table) and it folded around, I 4 bet he called.
Flop: 8 7 6 two clubs, I have none
I bet he raises I call
Turn: 5c
I check he bets I fold.

After that nothing interesting happened in the least. As Sooner’s can tell you if he replies I basically lost my chips a little at a time, raising pre and perhaps being 3 bet and whiffing completely, paying blinds, etc.
I went bust by raising AQ at 1400 to 600 at 150/300 in MP1 and an aggro player on my left made it 3 bets. It folded back to me and its obv going in so I make it 4 bets, he calls, and I bet the rest in the dark. He calls with 99 and it holds and that’s another GG no cash thanks and GL guys.

So I’m 3 events and 8k in and so far zero cashes in what has been very weak fields, so it’s a little frustrating considering how easy it is to go deep once a day online. Tomorrow is the 1k holdem rebuys which had 450 entrants when I went to the booth tonight so should be huge/weak field. Hopefully I get to some monsterous spew monkey like Negreanu’s table and am the benefactor of his 48 rebuys or whatever sick amount he does. So that’s all in this major TL DR trip report, I’ll write the next in a couple days after various interesting [censored] has happened.

5k mixed holdem - Day 1
When I headed down to the Rio poker room I knew things would be busy, but what I was not expecting was the absolute pandamonium that broke loose. I did this for 6 weeks last year, and never at any time EVER did things get so totally out of hand. The line stretched half way down the Rio hallway which is ENORMOUS. It was totally absurd. None of the staff had any idea what was going on, and everyone was confused. Finally someone told me if you were going to play today’s 5k you got to cut way in front, which still took 20 min (some people literally waited in line 4-6 hours today) and I got to the table 1 hand late.

My table line up, of known players, was as follows: Chris Moneymaker, Pearljammer, Jon Rober Belande, a tight asian guy who was wearing WPO bracelet but name escapes me, and on my direct right, Humberto Brenes. The table played extremely tight aggressive with basically nobody limping/spewing, except Belande. Humberto of course spent hours singing Spanish in my right ear, and about 8 gajillion people came over pointing and shouting “Its Humberto!!!” then begging for pics. He’d stick out his tongue, wave, pull one of TWO shark toys out and chant HUUUUMBERTO!! a bit but he didn’t really let it get out of hand. Still, I constantly felt like recanting my 2006 WSOP ME story, but decided not to be confrontational just for the sake of [censored] with people. I played zero hands with Brenes during several hours of play.

In one hand early it went limp/raise/I call/belande calls/limper calls.

Flop 4 5 6 two diamonds and belande bets 1000, limper calls, raiser/I fold. Turn A Belande bets 4000. Guy calls. River diamond. Belande bets 3000 leaving himself 1000, the guy puts him in, he swears a [censored] load and angrily folds. Lol, invest90%ofstackandfoldaments. Also, I witnessed moneymaker mega spew his stack into pearljammer when he could not get away from his AA whatsoever. So many times today I saw guys talk about a hand for 20 minutes during/after it, but had they THOUGHT about the hand for 20 seconds during it they would have realized the obvious. The important thing to understand when reading some of the hands I’ll share is that my villains can NEVER tell what’s obvious, have minimal sense of what my/their stack size is, and that I am 100% unknown.

To start things off I was fairly card dead, then with about 9k I found KK in MP. UTG raised to 200, I made it 600, and Belande who had worked his stack back to 5k flat called on the button, and the OR folded.
Flop: 2 T 2 and I fire 900 into 1500, belande tanks, tanks, then shoves his 88 and good day sir.
At that point I was around 14,000 and slowly lost chips in small but not damaging pots.

A while later I was moved tables to a pretty soft table, including a rich guy I’d seen play quite badly on TV (Ted Lawsen I think?). One thing I had trouble adjusting with today was the need for patience, going from 8-10 tabling online to 1 tabling live where people waste time constantly. The pace is agonizing sometimes, and Ted Lawson was the slowest of them all.

A half hour into my time at this table, at blinds 75/150 lawson makes it 500 in MP2 and I look down at 8s6s on the button(he had 25k, myself about 9). I’d seen him spew pretty bad on TV and I was sick bored so I decided to call in position and play him post flop. The blinds folded.
Flop 3s 5d 9c
Ted checks, I check.

Turn: 7s
Ted checks, I bet 600, he makes it 1600, I reraise half my stack (so [censored] obv) and he puts me in. He shows 99 for top set and I fade his boat on the river and for the rest of the evening ( a very long one) every time I play a hand with him he’ll ask me if I have 86 totally befuddled by my pre flop call.

For quite a while things were pretty quiet and I was card dead. I played some small pots, did some small bluffing/bullying, and was not overly involved.

I came into the session after the dinner break with about 16k and told stevepa how bad I needed to get chips at this 4/800 NL level. The next hour would be total insanity. The table lineup at this point included: Ted Lawson, Barry Greenstein, Jason Gray, Chad Brown, Toto Leonidas. Toto is WAY to LAG and really doesn’t know how to play the style at all, Jason Gray is solid, Barry seems good when he wants to be (he played one hand quite bad PF that I’ll get into later, otherwise strong) Chat Brown actually played pretty well, Ted Lawson was a disaster.

So heres how things started off:
I have 16k, toto 20k. Toto raises to CO to 2400, folds to me in BB with JTo, I jam, he folds.

One round later, a somewhat aggressive lady raises the hijack with 23k stack to 2400, folds to me in BB with about 19k, I have TT and jam, she folds.
Very next hand Greenstein raises in EP to 2400, folds to button who thinks things over and flat calls, I look down at KK and decide with the last two rounds to just jam it. Barry folds and the button tanks ,then calls with TT and I hold.

At this point I have like 44k, definitely a high point for me. Then we switch to limit. Max pescatori gets moved to the table super short. At limit 800/1500 max jams, Greenstein raises the most allowed over his all in, and 4 or 5 people call to me in the SB. I look down at 3s6s and its 1700 more for me to call, which I do, and BB calls. 7 people to the flop for 2500 each.
Flop: 4s 5h 9s
sweeeeet, I check, checks to barry who bets 1500, 2 callers to me, I raise to 3000, barry 3 bets, callers fold, I decide at this point to 3 bet me on this board barry must be VERY strong (set strong) and just call.
Turn: Th
I check call 3000 (the pot is redic huge at this point.)
River: 3h
FUUUUUUUCK!! I check fold for 3000, and barry shows 99 for top set. I dropped about 1/4th my stack there. Same round it folds to chad brown whos aggro on 2 on my right who raises to 3000, I have AJdd and 3 bet him, blinds fold, he calls. Flop Q 2 4 he check calls 1500. Turn A he checks I fire 3000 he CR’s and I give up seeing as I’m crushed by his range and I’ve got tight image. Back down to like mid-high 20 some k.
A round or two later back to NL at 500/1000.
Folds to Chad Brown on button who raises to 2500, SB calls (the guy who had the TT o my KK) and with about 26k in BB I make it 8000 with 97o. Chad insta folds, and the SB says something like “I’ve seen this one before” and quickly folds. Sweet. I am really beating up on this SB’s good time.
A few hands later folds to that same SB who’s now in MP and he makes it 3k, I look down at AA. I know its obvious, but I think he’s sick of me popping him and I make it 8k. Folds back to him and he calls leaving himself 13k.
Flop: A J T with a flush draw
He checks I shove he snap calls with KQ and I miss twice. NH sir, expert pre flop call on the reraise for 25% of ur remaining stack. I am now down to 10800.

A few hands later I look down at QQ EPish and jam for 10.8 BB’s. Folds to Ted Lawson who calls with AQ and I dodge. Back in the low 20’s. A few hands later I am BB again and look down at KK with about 23k in my stack. Folds to chad brown on button who makes it 2500, SB folds, I make it 7500, he jams I call he shows AQhh and I hold. Back to like 46,000.

Things more or less settled down after that, my high point was the low 50’s but I lost a medium sized limit pot to ted Lawson after that plus going card dead and paying the blinds and ended the day with 34,500, with ave in the 40-50k range.

This update wasn’t to colorful as I’m very tired and hungry, but I wanted to put the hands on paper while I remembered. Stevepa is also still in, so GL to him tomorrow. Until then, g’night all.