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Just some bitching

nath Just when I had some money goals and hand goals I wanted to reach at the end of the month, I immediately hit a 20-buyin downswing. Every time I sat down to play I just got throttled. No matter what I did, no matter how I got my money in, I lost.

I'm writing this because this session is the straw that broke the camel's back. I'm just sick of this shit. Here are the hands from the last session that finally got me. This session lasted 24 hands before he hit and ran me.

(Yes, some of these hands look ridiculous, but obviously I wouldn't have done what I did without a good reason.)

Full Tilt Poker Game #22691791176: Table Ray (heads up) - $0.50/$1 - No Limit Hold'em - 22:37:45 ET - 2010/07/29
Seat 1: Tony Pisser ($177.20)
Seat 2: design413 ($52.80)
design413 posts the small blind of $0.50
Tony Pisser posts the big blind of $1
The button is in seat #2
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Tony Pisser [Js 4s]
design413 raises to $2
Tony Pisser raises to $8
design413 raises to $14
Tony Pisser calls $6
*** FLOP *** [Jc Qs 8c]
Tony Pisser checks
design413 bets $19.50
Tony Pisser raises to $39
design413 calls $19.30, and is all in
Tony Pisser shows [Js 4s]
design413 shows [7h Ks]
Uncalled bet of $0.20 returned to Tony Pisser
*** TURN *** [Jc Qs 8c] [As]
*** RIVER *** [Jc Qs 8c As] [Kc]
Tony Pisser shows a pair of Jacks
design413 shows a pair of Kings
design413 wins the pot ($105.10) with a pair of Kings
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $105.60 | Rake $0.50
Board: [Jc Qs 8c As Kc]
Seat 1: Tony Pisser (big blind) showed [Js 4s] and lost with a pair of Jacks
Seat 2: design413 (small blind) showed [7h Ks] and won ($105.10) with a pair of Kings


Full Tilt Poker Game #22691811191: Table Ray (heads up) - $0.50/$1 - No Limit Hold'em - 22:38:48 ET - 2010/07/29
Seat 1: Tony Pisser ($118.40)
Seat 2: design413 ($110.60)
design413 posts the small blind of $0.50
Tony Pisser posts the big blind of $1
The button is in seat #2
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Tony Pisser [6c Ad]
design413 raises to $2
Tony Pisser raises to $118.40, and is all in
design413 calls $108.60, and is all in
Tony Pisser shows [6c Ad]
design413 shows [Kc Js]
Uncalled bet of $7.80 returned to Tony Pisser
*** FLOP *** [7d Ts Ks]
*** TURN *** [7d Ts Ks] [Kd]
*** RIVER *** [7d Ts Ks Kd] [Th]
Tony Pisser shows two pair, Kings and Tens
design413 shows a full house, Kings full of Tens
design413 wins the pot ($220.70) with a full house, Kings full of Tens
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $221.20 | Rake $0.50
Board: [7d Ts Ks Kd Th]
Seat 1: Tony Pisser (big blind) showed [6c Ad] and lost with two pair, Kings and Tens
Seat 2: design413 (small blind) showed [Kc Js] and won ($220.70) with a full house, Kings full of Tens

Full Tilt Poker Game #22691839956: Table Ray (heads up) - $0.50/$1 - No Limit Hold'em - 22:40:18 ET - 2010/07/29
Seat 1: Tony Pisser ($102.60)
Seat 2: design413 ($217.50)
Tony Pisser posts the small blind of $0.50
design413 posts the big blind of $1
The button is in seat #1
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Tony Pisser [Ac As]
Tony Pisser raises to $3
design413 calls $2
*** FLOP *** [3h Td 4s]
design413 bets $1
Tony Pisser raises to $9
design413 calls $8
*** TURN *** [3h Td 4s] [5s]
design413 bets $18.50
Tony Pisser raises to $90.60, and is all in
design413 calls $72.10
Tony Pisser shows [Ac As]
design413 shows [Js Ts]
*** RIVER *** [3h Td 4s 5s] [9s]
Tony Pisser shows a pair of Aces
design413 shows a flush, Jack high
design413 wins the pot ($204.70) with a flush, Jack high
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $205.20 | Rake $0.50
Board: [3h Td 4s 5s 9s]
Seat 1: Tony Pisser (small blind) showed [Ac As] and lost with a pair of Aces
Seat 2: design413 (big blind) showed [Js Ts] and won ($204.70) with a flush, Jack high

I don't know what to do. I'm miserable when I play and I expect to lose. I don't know how to get out of my rut. I'm trying to grind up and move up to 200, and every time I get close, I have a crushing downswing. Does anyone have any advice?

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