
Well this is a thing I have had happen to me early in my poker multitabling career but for over a year it has stayed away. Until 2 nights ago session it popped it's ugly head. I am quite sure I know why it happened new laptop getting used to diff touchpad speed sites don't have my preferences saved I don't have my allsnap and pt and pahud if I want to turn them on. Usually don't but I think knowing they weren't there effected my mindset. Once i got over 16 tables I started getting annoyed I start late sessions here down in florida. Usually start with 200 turbo at 6 and not many things till the 7pms and on. I happened to only bust out of 1 tourney from 7pm to the 50/50s at 930 I had something like 21 tables going on taking to a possible agent chatting on 2+2 and aim while smoking a black and mild. I then realized I was doing wayyyy too much shit at once and that was partially why I didn't bust. I was expecting to examine my stack sizes and be like 7-20bbs on all tables but I had stacks a bunch of places it was sad I couldn't even recall how I won chips knew I shoved had no idea if I was called or not. And that shit really bothered me I always pride myslef on my memory while playing I can tell you hands vs so many diff players from 2 years ago. I just always was good with that.
But I couldnt for the life of me recall anything about anytable it was like a drunk blackout of poker playing. I tried so hard to recount things that happened reread handhistories and keep drawing complete blanks it was as if I was truely autoplioting not looking at names stacksizes anything. that worried me a bunch so I tried to stop it and actually made an effort to bust in a few of the smaller things that I had no chips in. But, I keep winning those flips and then had stacks in them as well. So I actually got frustrated that I couldn't bust in a tourney. I know it makes no sense but it bothered me the whole session how come I couldn't go out. Then I start taking the tourney serious because they are getting itm I fted some decent sized 24 on FTP and had 15 other tables going busted the ft was even more tilted and then started dropping tourneys like flies. Then I try to nit it up because I know I was tilted/spewy but that didn't work got strong hands into stronger or got big hands cracked sounds like broken record but it was baddd.
So bad that in my next session last night I played under 20 tourneys I haven't done that for a long long time maybe 6months+ of playing a session of reg for over a 4+ hour period and being under 20 tourneys. I did decent got some stacks got deep in another wsop sat but tilt took over and I spewed. I hate when I spew I feel like I went back a few levels in poker devolpment and losing my edge bothers me. It's so weird just 2 weeks ago I was bragging about having no tilt in my game I took 2 sick equity beats in freerolled pots where I shouldn't ever be getting freerolled and that didn't bother me. but not being able to bust the 10$ fo on stars tilted the fuck out of me.
This is an anger post so i'm leaving all the intial mistakes in this thread to show myself that mistakes just get worse if you don't fix em.