I arrive at Crown at 11:45am. The tournament starts at 12:30am and having failed to buy in the previous night I need to get it done this morning. I’d come in at 9pm last night hoping to buy in as during previous tournament series at Crown the registration booth had been open until 10pm. When I was informed that they had closed the booth at 7pm (and would all ‘Aussie Millions’) I resolved to make sure to wake up early enough to make it there in time to buy in without missing a hand.

When I enter the poker room a little before noon I immediately realize I’ll be missing at least a few hands. The line for the event is enormous. Naturally I run into about a dozen people I know and must exchange pleasantries with but have to quickly excuse myself so I can get to the back of the line. I get to my table a little before 12:40, having missed nearly 10 minutes because Crown is actually consistent about starting their tournaments on time. We start with 5000 in chips with 40 minute levels and 10 handed. I’m seated at table 31 which is a sort of feature table right along the rail, which means any time I fold there’s somebody I know along the rail to make small talk with. The whole table is quite relaxed and social as well, and when people bust out they often stand up and shake hands with everyone on the table and wish them luck. It is a very cordial affair, particularly for a poker tournament.


Through the early levels I play small pots of which there is very little multi street action. I don’t play my first major pot until the 75/150 level:
My stack: ~6000, HJ: ~4000, blinds 75/150, I hold AhKh UTG+2.
Preflop: 2 folds, I raise to 400, UTG+3 folds, MP1 calls, MP2 folds, the HJ who is an older guy who is apparently a British pro makes it 1200, it folds back to me and I quickly slide everything into the middle except for a single green ‘25’ chip which I tell the dealer “I’m leaving to bluff with.” The flat caller quickly folds and the HJ tanks for quite some time before folding.

I play a few small pots during the first 100/200 level and lose some chips making a couple continuation bets that don’t go my way. I don’t get involved in a major pot again until the antes have kicked in:
My stack: ~6000, Cutoff: ~6000, blinds 100/200 with 25 ante, I hold AKo UTG+1.
Preflop: UTG folds, I raise to 600, it folds around to the CO, CO raises to 1800, folds back to me, I quickly slide my chips all in. Now the CO goes into the tank for quite a while and eventually gives a shrug and says “Call.” He tables 99 and we’re off to the races.
Flop: A J 4 rainbow
Turn: 5
River: 8
The CO stands up and says good luck to everyone then walks off. The dealer is about the slide his entire stack my way then looks at them both and decides he should count it. It winds up that the CO has 50 chips left and they shout at him to come back to the table. He busts the next hand.

Just a few hands later I’m involved again:
My stack: ~12,000, SB: ~20,000, blinds 100/200 with 25 ante, I hold A3o on the button.
Preflop: Folds to me on the button, I raise to 600, SB calls, BB calls.
Flop: 3c 8s Qs
SB checks, BB checks, and I check behind because I think one of them peels or checkraises me at too high a frequency to continuation bet here. The SB in this hand is Crown regular Marwan Nassif who is very familiar with how aggressive I am and certainly willing to call me down light.
Turn: Qd
SB checks, BB checks, and now I decide to bet for value. I count out 1100 and drop them into the pot. Marwan calls fairly quickly and the BB folds.
River: 4d
Marwan checks and I check behind knowing that most of his range is mid pairs that won’t fold to me and draws that won’t pay off a value bet. I say “two pair” and proudly table the A3 and he mucks, telling me he had AsJs.

At some point in the day Zpaceman winds up on the table a few seats on my left. He raises my BB and I playfully but viciously berate him then tell him a spite BB raise is coming his way. A few orbits later at the 150/300 level I’m on the CO when he’s in the BB and I announce preflop “Here it comes Stu” then load up 800 chips in my left hand ready to smash them into the pot. I wasn’t seriously planning on raising any two cards, but the two players between us are huge nits so I decide I’ll play around and raise pretty wide. Naturally it folds to me on the CO and when I peek down at K5o I fling my chips into the pot and tell him “Eat it Spaceman!” It folds to him in the BB and he flashes two rags and folds. I flash him a king and a smile.

I continue building my stack at the 150/300 level by taking down small and medium pots and finding a nice string of quality pre flop hands. After a couple orbits of accumulation I get involved in a large pot:
My stack: ~18,000, Marwan: ~16,000, UTG: ~5,500, UTG+2: ~12,000, BB:~9,000, blinds 150/300 with 25 ante. I hold KcQc on the button.
Preflop: UTG limps. UTG is an older guy who is new to the table and he looks like the type that could either limp big pairs here or be way too loose and open limp too much. I’m not sure what to think of it. UTG+1 folds, and a New Zealander who seems like a mostly recreational player makes it 750 next to act. It folds around to me and I’m unsure what to think of his raise size and flat call. Marwan calls on the button, the SB folds, the BB calls, and UTG calls as well. Getting interesting here.
Flop: 7c 8d 9c
BB checks, UTG checks, UTG+2 bets 3000, I’m pretty confident he’s got an over pair at this stage so I have anywhere of 9-15 outs (and probably a small but pretty miniscule amount of fold equity) and raise to 9,000 (which in retrospect is probably not better than shoving because it’s live poker where all ins are scary and people think I could do something insane like raise/fold this flop at these stacks), then Marwan announces all in for what turns out to be 15,800, the BB folds, UTG folds, UTG+2 goes into the tank and folds, and I tell Marwan “Well, I can’t fold, let’s see if I can suck you out, call!” Marwan tables JhTh and UTG+2 said he folded aces. I’m pretty sure whoever wins this pot will be chip leader of the tournament.
Turn: 3s
The rail is crowded with people and the dealer stalls dramatically before whipping over the river card.
River: 6s
I start laughing at Marwan having to watch two black cards come down and tell him nice hand. I count out the necessary chips and slide them over to him; I have a bit under 3000 left. Shit. One hand later we go on break and everyone asks how I donked off my stack.

When we come back from break I shove 8To in mid position and everyone folds. The next hand I peek down at 22 and shove my 3950 by announcing “ARRRRRRRRRIN!” A guy with 900 chips in late position calls then an old guy in the SB with about 5000 chips flat calls. Oh God I am so dead. The BB folds and I announce “I got a pair!” then whip over my deuces. The late position player shows AK and the SB tables JJ. Zpaceman tells me he folded a 2. Just perfect.
Flop: A 5 7
Turn: 3
Everyone watching on the rail starts chanting for a four. That would be pretty sick.
River: 7
I tap the table and wish everyone luck then stroll through the poker room asking everyone I can find if they want to get food. One of the floor women comes over and asks me why I’m always so dressed up and if I even own a pair of shorts, as I have a Zegna on today. I tell her “I have a stricter dress code than the casino.” I find a few guys and we take a group of four to ‘Number 8’. Half way into dinner our group of four has turned into seven and that’s before Stevo and Chris show up. They decide to go sort money issues while we finish our dinner, which obviously kicks ass because that’s how ‘Number 8’ rolls.

After dinner a group of nearly a dozen meets up in a Crown café and discuss how we donked off our stacks, except for the few who didn’t play today. Stevo has brought a joint and we walk over to the river front (a good 20 meters or so from the Crown entrance) and fire it up. There are six or seven of us passing it around and even though we don’t get much each it’s my student’s special super weed so we’re all pretty baked. To quote Dave Chappelle “That shit is the snip snap snizzle!”

Those of us who haven’t eaten yet decide they need food so we go over to ‘Meat and Wine Co’ and we somehow get a table for 10 despite it being 9pm on a Friday night in the middle of Southbank. We have to spend 20 minutes in the bar before our table is ready and by the time we get there I’m five beers and a moderate amount of super weed into the evening, making me pretty properly ripped up. Even though I’ve already eaten I’m stoned enough to order a 200 gram steak. When it arrives Zpaceman starts giving me shit for my “pussy steak” and I start brandishing my stake knife around and threatening him with it. Meanwhile ‘Delaney Kid’ has a giant platter of ribs and steak in front of him which will clearly give him blood clotting despite his only being 19 or some young ass age like that.

After dinner the group dissipates as some go home and some get ready to head out to some kind of rave like club. I elect not to do the rave thing because they apparently suck if you don’t take pills (which I don’t) and because I’m told that it would be absolutely insane to go there in my suit. Instead Chris, Zpaceman and I go over to the cigar bar above ‘Transport’ and sit outside while I lit up a cigar. We order mojitos. I don’t think it’s a gay drink.

It really is the best tournament series. My entire day was a breeze. I woke up and played my normal 7ish hours of tournaments and unfortunately didn’t make any final tables. After that I went for a brief run, its briefness being uncommon these days as I’m constantly at Albert Park for 45 minutes an evening. I organized a dinner amongst a number of groups events, which wound up being 10 going out to Koreana BBQ in Richmond.

It was a diverse group containing Zpaceman, Plattsburgh, Annette15, StevoL, Justin, Yang, Dave, Darren, Trung, and myself. I spent the majority of the evening apologizing to Dave Lee for getting him in extremely hot shit with his girlfriend. I’m also here to make a public apology which according to Dave may help to smooth things over to a degree.

While at dinner last Friday Dave’s fiancé Phung (oh man if I spelled her name wrong this apology is going so askew) mentioned that this would be their last night together since the Aussie Millions started up for Dave the next day.
“Bullshit! He lied to you; they don’t start till the 9th!” I blurt.
Her eyes lit up and Dave gave me a look like I kicked him directly in the nuts.
“No, no! Its satellite week!” he protested.
“Oh we’re gonna talk about this” she said.
I quickly realized the enormity of my mistake
“No, no, no, no, no wait he’s telling the truth there is a bunch of satellites this week! There’s a ton, he’s…you know, showing ambition!”

But it was too late. Women are fickle creatures. Dave got his ass handed to him for hours. I’m sorry I fucked that up so hard Dave. I remember those nights where “a talk about this” was inevitable. I feel your pain my friend. My bad.

After dinner at the Korean joint we headed over to a friend’s to play a home game. Annette decided to sit to my immediate left and flat over 90% of my opens. Eventually play got to a strange point and I got a set up hand in my favor:
My stack :$550
Annette: $800
I’m UTG with AsJh. Blinds $5/$5.
Preflop: I raise to $20, Annette min raises to $40, it folds back to me, I consider my options then click it back to $60, Annette calls.
Flop: 2d 7d Jc
I bet $80, Annette makes it $160, I go all in, Annette says “Snap call!” out loud. She tables Jd4d and I’ve got 12 outs to dodge.
Turn: 6h
River: 3c

That was my largest pot of the night and I won in the area of $600. There was about 15 people in the apartment all laughing their asses off and telling stories, the perfect atmosphere for a home game. At about 12:30 a group of six of us made our way back to my apartment and sat outside on my massive porch. We smoked two joints and sat outside laughing our asses off. The summer night was cool and pleasant and my porch is so big I could have 30 over without issue. Then we came in and watched the Wayne Brady episode of Chapelle. It was fucking brilliant.

Now I’m just chilling in my apartment fairly baked listening to music which sounds amazing. I’m debating filling out the interview PokerVerdict has sent me in this state. That could make for some interesting answers. It’s been a damn good day.

12 hour later edit: See this is why I never write after smoking, I just use the same words and phrases over and over, totally unaware that I'd used them in the previous sentence.

That’s right; the Aussie Millions is only a week away. Less actually, five days if we must get super technical. As I’ve mentioned somewhere in the area of infinity times, the Aussie Millions is my absolute favorite tournament series of the year. It’s a great three weeks because on top of having a great tournament schedule all my friends will be in the same place during the best month of the year in Melbourne. I’ve informed everyone near me that during those two weeks you can always find me either in the poker room or at Transport Bar at Federation Square where they have a giant beer list and the tennis on TV all night.

As the series approaches I’ve talked to a number of players and friends around the Australian poker scene who tell me they expect to do things because they “Want it so bad” or “Feel due.” For the love of God people, please stop talking like this. There is no ‘due’ in poker or in gambling. There is no ‘wanting it’. I don’t care how prepared you are, or how much this tournament ‘means to you’, that shit is irrelevant. Tournament poker is a cruel mistress and all that matters at the end of the day is that you sit there making as close to optimal decision as possible over and over again. If anything I’d think really ‘wanting’ a tournament and having some degree of emotional investment in it only adds another liability. If something goes wrong and you have so much of yourself invested you just might lose your cool. This isn’t a sport and it shouldn’t feel like gambling.

Anyway, I put a considerable amount of thought into my book today. I’ve decided to approach a large number of other players I have major respect for and ask for their help making this the most kick ass tournament poker book ever. Here’s the PM I’ve sent them all:
“Hey Guys,

So I’m sending this message out to a number of people, which is why it's written so informally. As you may or may not be aware of, I’ve decided to write a book on tournament poker. I’ve sent you this message because you’re one of the people in the poker world that impress me the most; not only with your game but with your ability to discuss concepts. I’d really like as many of you involved on this project as possible. I’ve even had some of you involved in the articles before, and again let me thank you for that.

I’m forming the book on the back bone of the ‘Things it took me a while to learn’ series, which deal primarily with tournament poker but occasionally touch on other subjects. I’d like to expand and elaborate considerably on what I’ve already written, as well as include several new topics. I won’t be designing this book for beginners as I think the market for that sort of thing is saturated and quite honestly, it just wouldn’t be very interesting for any of us to write.

I have a more peculiar method in mind for the style of the book. I remember back when I read a considerable amount of poker books that I’d have difficulty maintaining my focus on them over a long period of time because they were very technical and bland. Few mixed in humor and interesting anecdotes and as a result I often found them difficult to read for a sustained amount of time. What I was thinking for this particular book was to mix the highly technical and mathematical strategy information with occasional stoppages for something breezier. Essentially, I’m thinking that between every few chapters of poker knowledge would be something I’d title “Stories from the poker world” where either I or another writer simply tell a personal story about the tournament world or the poker world in general that was entertaining, amusing, or interesting.

I know that many of you are very busy and if you’re not interested whatsoever please let me know and I totally understand. I’m willing to take any amount of content from you guys, anything from a paragraph to a page to a chapter. If you have a specific topic you’d like to cover please let me know, and if you have no idea just have a conversation with me and we’ll come up with something for you. If you do decide to write one of the “Stories from the poker world” I’d encourage you to do so entirely uncensored. I will not edit your content (though I will have an editor for grammar, spelling, etc.)

Anyway, please let me know if this is something you’d like to be a part of. I’m not quite sure how to handle the issue of compensation at the moment and will be discussing that with more experienced authors. I have not submitted my idea to any publishers and at the moment am considering using one of the online self publishing companies instead. I was also considering Ebook format, though am unsure how large an issue piracy would be.

Cheers, Tony”

That gives a pretty good summation of the direction I want to take the book in. If you’re curious who all I sent that to and want to get involved the list is: Jman28, SEABEAST, Adanthar, Jurollo, Nath, Ansky, djk123, MaverickUSC, mlagoo, yellowsub, aejones, luckychewy, psyduck, shaundeeb, THAY3R, gobo, LearnedfromTV, mastr, Sirwatts, Timex, Foucault, AJKHoosier, SCTrojans, Gboro, Apestyles, Assassinato. I’ll also be approaching Lee Nelson, Greg Raymer, and Barry Greenstein.

I have no idea how many of them will choose to get involved. If they all said yes I think I’d bust a nut. If I got 10 I’d be thrilled. I guess we’ll find out over the next couple of days. I’ll be trying to write my portion of the book (and it’s going to be a lot) all before Friday.

I’ve been thinking about the way I write a lot lately. I’ve realized that for me, writing is not only a hobby but a necessity. If I don’t thoughts get stuck in my head and fly around bothering me at all times. Then when I try to close my eyes and go to sleep at night they’re all still there and wont’ shut up. The only way to get them out is on paper. That or get really baked which temporarily blocks them out. For the moment I have a hurricane of ideas swirling around my head, so after I finish playing over the next few days I intend to sit down and crank out pages in a Dostoyevskyesque fervor. Hopefully I’ll get some sleep before Fridays Aussie Millions opening event. After that I can focus on how to work in everyone else’s content.

There’s no reason for me to be hung over. I wasn’t even that drunk last night. I sat around the casino for hours waiting to sober up drinking water and eating food so I could drive home legally, constantly going back to the breathalyzer machine hoping it’d read .05. I mean seriously .05, you pussy ass Australians, where I come from its .1, I thought you people were a nation of drunks and moderately proud of that? Where’s your national sense of adventure?

Despite being exhausted when I got home I was awake in bed for at least half an hour. I got to sleep somewhere around 6am. I woke up at 8:30am feeling like hell. My insides feel like they are on fire. My eyes are blood shot and bleary but I can’t seem to fall back asleep. My feet hurt something awful. I need to get more comfortable brown shoes. I don’t have the energy to bring the glass of water in front of me to my mouth. I seem able to type though.

Sure any day you start drinking at 3pm probably won’t end well. At least I did not end up at my friends house at 6am doing lines of coke like some of my other mates did. I imagine they are still up. I don’t do drugs, except marijuana of course. Perhaps I should smoke some now? I’ve never tried other drugs though I have nothing against those who partake. I actually find it all rather amusing to watch, and it often makes for great writing material.

The girl I’m seeing left me a note before she left yesterday morning for work. It sits behind my keyboard. It reads “Don’t forget to take Medicine. Hope you getting better today. Miss Ya XoXo xxxxxxxxxxx” She has drawn hearts instead of dots over the ‘I’s’. That means she’s not a transvestite. That and she doesn’t have a penis. Microsoft word wants me to turn the ‘doesn’t’ in the previous sentence into ‘don’t’ but I’m almost positive that’s incorrect. She’s a sweet girl though. She comes over and cooks and cleans for me, despite my telling her “Damn it woman, I have a cleaner for that!” She did my laundry the other day, some if it is lying outside hoping to dry out. It’s currently raining. I’m not going to do anything about it. I did not follow her instructions though. I did not get better. I feel like I might vomit. I don’t get it; I was fine when I went to sleep. Seriously. I did not see her last night. It was the first New Years Eve I didn’t have sex in quite some time. 2009 can go fuck itself. 2008 was a pretty good year; I got considerably richer through a combination of absurd swapping luck and a work ethic so obsessive it had the power to ruin a relationship. I’m not bragging here, but it’s nice to know nobody can ever fuck with me again.

I’d like to continue on that thought as long as I’m rambling. While I won’t get into numbers I now have enough money that I feel like nobody can ever fuck with me again, at 24. I’m not rich in the sense that I can buy a big house and a Ferrari and live like a balla for the rest of my life, but I don’t ever have to take some job I hate ever again. I’m a nit with my money really, I stick it in the bank in term deposits and CD’s looking for the lowest variance approach possible. I don’t ever have to take shit from anyone ever again. If I write my book and all the publishers I submit it to tell me they want to heavily edit the content I can tell them to all go fuck themselves and release it for free and not care about the loss of income. I won’t tell them to go fuck themselves because it’s unprofessional and you shouldn’t burn bridges like that, but I know I’ll be thinking it.

I remember when I was 17 and worked as a shoe salesman at ‘Finish Line’. God it was the worst job. I wanted to tell my boss to go fuck himself more than anything in the world, but I needed the income. That and I didn’t have the spine at 17. Now I don’t ever have to take an order from any asshole ever again (outside rather obvious people of authority such as police and government.) I never really wanted to be very wealth or powerful or influential. I don’t care. I’d rather have total authority over my time and my health, that’s all I want. Health is way more important than most people my age understand. I’m 24 and I feel my own mortality. When I talk to people back home they are talking about their careers. Some are talking about marriage and children. I think one friend from high school is already a dad and it was planned. The first girlfriend I ever had has had two kids already. It was in 5th grade and I had to be dared to hug her. She broke up with me for Ben Maggio. Fucking Maggio. He was a nice guy though; I think he plays quite a bit of poker these days. I bet I could beat him heads up. Perhaps that would impress my twice impregnated ex from 14 years ago?

I want to go back to talking about health though. I’ve dished out a lot of advice in this blog, but if I could impart just one piece to everyone who reads this it’s to take care of your health. You only get one body. You won’t be young forever. If you work out you’ll look and feel better. Clothes will fit better. You’ll fuck better. You’ll live longer. You greatly reduce your chances of health complications down the road. You really want diabetes you stupid mother fucker? I didn’t think so. Go to the gym. They say you don’t know what you got until it’s gone. Don’t find out the hard way when it comes to your health. I met this guy in a bar in the Dominican Republic once who had a theory about life. He was quite drunk. He wrote it all down on a napkin for me, which I kept for some time. He wrote that happiness in life is wealth plus time divided by health and elaborated that you could have everything in life but if you’re laid up in a hospital bed none of it has any value. Then he started rambling about some Dominican girl he’d met recently. “God she was SO fucking black!” he bellowed excitedly. Some guy at another table asked him to please keep it down and take it easy. Then the napkin guy went off and called the other guys chick fat and nearly got himself in a fight. The girls name was Rhonda. Rhonda’s do seem to be pretty big chicks.

Man that trip to the Dominican Republic was ridiculous. Prostitutes would walk the beaches at night and come up to us teenagers and gesture towards their mouth saying “Goma Goma!” They asked to come to my room and sleep with me. I did my best to explain in very broken Spanish that I had no desire to sleep with them. I remember one night this guy I met got jumped by a fat prostitute on the beach who stole his glasses. He was small and wasted and agreed to pay $50 to get his glasses back. After he gave her the money she dropped them on the ground and broke them with her foot and ran off. I fooled around with a girl for my very first time on that trip. I didn’t pay for it. It was awesome. A year later her giant father would catch her in my room at 5:45am when I was staying in their house and threatened to kill me. I’ll remember his exact words for the rest of my life: “YOU THINK YOU WORK OUT WELL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING; IT’D TAKE ME ABOUT 12 SECONDS TO BREAK YOUR NECK!!!” This triggered a massive family fight between the father, daughter, and mother, with the mother screaming “WAAAAAAAAAAAAYNE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” while I stood there terrified. I did not sleep well that night. The things we do for a piece of tail, though I never had sex with her. Seven years later she still IM’s me sometimes, but only to ask who I vote for and then tell me I’m “everything that’s wrong with this country” for not voting Republican. I remember once in college I got super drunk and convinced her to send me naked pictures. Sweet.

I think that’s enough for now. I’ve been writing for like an hour. I’m going to go crawl into bed and see if I can sleep. If I can’t I guess I’ll just start playing tournaments at 11am. Happy New Years mother fuckers. I’ve been watching Chapelle’s show again.

Edit: Fuck it, tournament time.

I frequently get PM’s asking for coaching and staking. These days I do basically zero staking (though I do buy percentages of people now and then) and minimum coaching, almost never in the traditional sense (mostly people come over and watch me play and ask questions.) However, my friend StevoL and I are always on the look out for the next perfect horse-student. This is a person we’d both consider investing time in training and staking in order to groom them into the perfect horse (though obviously they could eventually go alone.) Stevo recently had one of his horse-students hit a six figure score for him by winning the $15,000 buy in Sydney high rollers event during the APPT grand final. Jarred Graham, aka ‘FlopNutsOnYou’ online, has been working under Stevo for about a year, though it’s important to note that a huge amount of Jarred’s success is a result of the enormous hours and hard work he put into his game. It’s also relevant to note that I don’t think Jarred hitting one large score in Sydney proves his success; he has been putting up big scores for some time now online and consistently crushing for some time.

So what exactly are Stevo and I looking for when we consider someone for that kind of thing? I thought it might be interesting to make a list and talk about what qualifies or disqualifies a person from consideration:

1. A potential student must have absolutely zero gamble in them. Anyone who spends any time whatsoever in the pit, sports betting, or doing anything else that’s –EV gambling is pretty much instantly disqualified. Same goes for anyone who used to gamble frequently but has since settled down. I’ve learned the hard way that once a person gets the gamble in them, it pretty much never leaves. If someone plays their favorite pit game a couple times a year with a small amount of money as simple recreation (as I and several other poker players do) that’s not a big deal, but anything beyond that and they are no longer in the running.

2. A potential student must not be an emotional person. In poker you’re constantly dealing with disappointment and frustration, and anyone who reacts strongly and negatively to that is again pretty much instantly disqualified. Surviving in poker over the long term in a stable way requires a very even temperament and while there are plenty of successful players who are emotional I honestly believe they are worse players (and often people) because of it. It’s totally normal to swear, feel disappointment, or be annoyed over running bad or taking an especially brutal beat. However, anyone who flips out, breaks things, lets fury heavily affect their play, or takes their anger out on others is out of the running. Additionally, I flat out hate dealing with emotional people’s bullshit. Grow the fuck up.

3. A potential student must not use drugs outside of marijuana. I don’t really care if someone has tried this drug and that drug, but anyone who regularly uses recreational drugs outside of marijuana is normally disqualified. I’m aware that plenty of people are capable of only using drugs on occasion and in moderate doses, but any use of a potentially addictive substance is additional liability to a backer who has their money in the trust of the horse. Additionally, anyone indulging in more than occasional drug use is likely out partying a lot, which means less time they will spend grinding. Although I’d tell most people asking me for advice to have a balanced and very social lifestyle, I’d obviously prefer that a horse spends as much time grinding as possible. A huge percentage of professional poker players regularly use marijuana, many in very high doses. I would likely give less consideration to a person who was a full blown pot head as it tends to make people lazy and unmotivated, but I wouldn’t disqualify them because many very good players function under the substance near constantly and find it easier to put in volume as a result.

4. A potential student must have a real desire and motivation to learn. There are lots of people who think they want to learn the game quite badly but once they realize the amount of work required get lazy or apathetic. Others think that if they are taken other the wing of a highly successful player then things will sort of fall into place for them and not too much work will be necessary. The fact is, even someone given the undivided attention of a highly successful pro will still have to put in massive hours of both play and study by themselves. This quality was highly evident in Jarred and one of the chief reasons for his quick evolution as a player. Whenever someone I know asks for a blue print of how to get better I essentially assign them a large amount of homework and demand they give me feedback and questions after reading it. Anyone who can’t be fucked isn’t worth my time.

5. It is preferable that a potential student didn’t learn poker by playing live. This isn’t my having some vendetta against live players or trying to get into an argument about superiority. The simple fact is that learning through live poker creates and reinforces many bad habits in a poker player. Stevo and I have discussed this at length and both agree that we’d both rather work with someone who was 100% raw and inexperienced than trying to deprogram a live player and teach them the game all over again (with a few already successful exceptions.) I know how hard this is because I am a prime example of having done it. I grew up playing live home games and eventually grinding at Crown casino, as well as learning from the books live players. When I was finally taught the game correctly it was evident that my years of learning and practicing incorrectly were making it more difficult for the proper concepts to sink into my game. The ideal student has been playing online for some time and already studies the game from established resources (training sites, forums, articles, etc) but simply hasn’t broken through yet.

6. A potential student should ask many questions, but not question us. This goes back to having a desire to learn, which is certainly a quality in a potential student. However, having a student who won’t take orders or do what’s necessary of him is a liability neither of us is willing to deal with. Of course as teachers we’re going to be wrong from time to time and it’s certainly acceptable that a student would point out flaws or suggest a better alternative. That said if he’s overruled and told he’s wrong or needs to do something how we say it should be done it needs to get done that way.

7. A potential student should enjoy grinding, or at least not mind it. Many poker players actually hate putting in volume (one of the reasons many spend their playing time high.) If a player is at the early stages of career and development and already hates putting in the hours it’s not a good sign for his future. Although I know many successful players who absolutely hate playing, were I to spend time teaching someone it would obviously be preferable that they enjoy the time they spend grinding.

8. It is preferable though not necessary that a potential student is good at math. There are plenty of poker players who aren’t particularly good at math (myself included) but at a minimum a student needs to be willing to make the effort to understand the basics of pot odds, equity, ranges, and things of that matter. Naturally, it’s even better if the potential student is highly capable at math, because at the end of the day the whole game is really a massive math problem and people experienced in the area will have a better idea understanding the idea of ‘long term’.

9. It is preferable that the potential student is young and single. For the most part as people get older they have a higher degree of responsibility, often to an already established career or a family. Anyone with a serious girlfriend or wife immediately has a major drain on his time and in many cases the woman in his life will want something more stable than a poker playing boyfriend/husband. The ideal age for a student is 18, particularly in Australia as far fewer Australians enter college allowing for maximum time commitment to learning the game.

10. It is highly preferable that a potential student is male. It’s rather obvious that I have considerable experience teaching a girl to play and in no way regret that experience. That said, women are already predisposed to being much more emotional than men and almost every known female poker player has been known to outbursts (there are exceptions, but not many.) Additionally, the poker world is a harsh place for a woman to try and make a living. If she gains any fame or notoriety her looks and personal life will be under constant scrutiny and potential ridicule. And if she happens to achieve a major success the line of haters will be a mile long (Hi Annette!) Additionally, many female players (attractive ones anyway) realize that they don’t really have to be very good in order to get attention and sponsorship money and as a result lose the drive to constantly improve their game. It is extremely unlikely I’d ever consider taking on another female student.

11. It is mandatory that either I or Stevo know the potential student in real life. This is necessary in order to observe the behavior of the person in regards to the rest of the list not to mention being able to ascertain whether our personalities match up in a way that’s conductive to a proper learning environment.

Lastly, I want to say that we do not want anyone sending us any form of application or request. Anyone I’d consider for this kind of thing is likely someone I would approach about it personally. Even if someone fit this list completely it’s extremely unlikely that we’d consider them as we are highly selective with this sort of thing (a result of failing to be so in the past.) If you send me some kind of information or student request I will likely give it a very brief glance then reply that I’m not interested.